ESRB rates 'The Last Guy' for PS3

The Entertainment Software Ratings Board has rated a previously trademarked, but still largely nebulous PlayStation 3 title called, "The Last Guy." Needless to say, we know more about the behavior and diet of the Narwhal than we know about this E10+ game -- and even then, we just had to look Narwhal up on Wikipedia. Apparently it's some sort of fish thing?

We've requested comment from the folks at Sony, but in lieu of an actual answer, let's consider the most likely (and gratuitously fabricated) explanations:

• The Last Guy (being the ultimate next-gen card game): Hook up the PlayStation Eye camera and throw down some cards with three of your mates. Match up numbers, colors and shapes as you attempt to keep your cards for as long as possible. Don't forget to shout, "Last Guy!" when you're the final card holder, or everything is forfeit. "I win!" "No way dude, you didn't say 'Last Guy!' Pick up 47 clubs!"

• The Last Guy (being the ultimate next-gen survival-horror): Following a cataclysmic scientific accident involving an egg whisk and inter-dimensional clumsiness, you find yourself to be last guy on Earth. Arming yourself with shovels, pickets, heavy brass doorknobs and whatever else you can find, you embark on a journey fraught with peril and mutated humans who are clearly not guys.

• The Last Guy (being the ultimate next-gen castle sim): As the last guy, it's up to you to foil the hero before he beats the entire game. Obstruct the moat with robot crocodiles, instruct your mindless minions and construct the most elaborate (but still homey) deathtrap in the neighborhood. Spinning columns of searing fire? Yes! Unexpectedly placed bottomless pits? Certainly! A barely supportive rope bridge with an axe conveniently located right behind you? Hey, we can't play the game for you!

[Pictured: The last guy in Final Fantasy VII.]