Japanese hardware sales, May 26 - June 1: Sales Chart Pie edition
Sales Chart Pie -- A decadent blend of several luxurious flavors piled high atop a hand-made crust and topped with a breathtakingly rich vanilla and cinnamon cremé. Decadently sinful and delciously rich with luxurious flavor.
Step One: Assuming you have purchased graham crackers, crush graham crackers into a fine powder using a judge's gavel crafted from ebony and bone, or, if necessary, break the graham crackers apart with your hands. Moisten powder with liquid substance of your choosing. Rainwater, milk, Mountain Dew, Nyquil, Syrup of ipecac -- it's entirely up to you. The world, and this pie, is your oyster. (Editor's note: The author of this recipe strongly advises against using oysters to moisten powder).
Step Two: Creating the thinnest slices possible, cut up fifty-eight apples, twelve watermelons, thirty-one mandarin oranges, sixteen lemons, three-hundred and sixty-six maraschino cherries, ninety-one strawberries, seven onions, two pumpkins, and a ping-pong ball. This should take three days, if your slices are thin enough. Now, throw these fruit slivers directly in the garbage. Begin regretting the incredible amount of time you've just wasted. Wait for this regret to become tangible. Mix regret into a fine syrup. Place in refrigerator to cool.
Step Three: Obtain your moistened graham cracker powder and chilled regret, and place in garbage with fruit slivers. Go to grocery store. Buy pie created by certified piecrafter. Garnish purchased pastry with six green arrows, adding a dash of your own witty comments about how well your console of choice is faring in Japan. (Editor's note: Remove arrows before ingesting pie, as their triangular shape lends itself to tongue and gum-related trauma.) Enjoy!
- PSP: 71,986
7,537 (11.69%)
- Wii: 50,851
1,804 (3.68%)
- DS Lite: 38,355
951 (2.54%)
- PS3: 9,169
98 (1.08%)
- PS2: 7,203
14 (0.19%)
- Xbox 360: 1,959
12 (0.62%)
[Source: Media Create]
See: The luxuriously decadent archives
