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Born for Wii: Cubivore (page 3)

Wesley Fenlon

When you get right down to it, Cubivore's 1-of-a-kind nature is the game's real appeal. The graphics, though unique, are pretty fugly -- the textures are horrible, and the square aesthetic could be improved by a better sense of style or more detail. Plenty of games from last gen looked far better, so there's definitely room for improvement. Even so, any game that casually throws out the term meat flaps can't be bad, and the gameplay itself is pretty solid. You'll likely spend at least as much time having fun as you will trying to contemplate just how out there this game is.

On the GameCube controller, the analog stick controls movement, the A button jumps/pounces, B blocks, X retreats backwards (keep your eyes on you enemy!), Y intimidates, the L trigger locks onto enemies, and the C Stick moves the camera. Oh, and the Z button? Relieve your bowels.

The basic control setup would likely be best transferred more or less intact, but Wiimote-implementation would be an effective way to add a little more challenge to Cubivore's battles. Normally, using the A button to pounce is all there is to an attack, but I'd like to see pointer and waggle controls added. To land a devastating hit, match on-screen directional hints with the Wiimote a la No More Heroes -- and when the killing blow comes, use the Wii Remote to rip off Raw Meat instead of simply pressing the A button.

There's also considerable potential for a Wii port of Cubivore to use the controller in some pretty inventive ways in each Training Ground, where you take your Cubivore to level up various abilities. Want Hump points? Earn them. Redesigning the simplistic training grounds with a new Wii twist would make them considerably more fun, and that's the name of the game, right?

Being such a niche title, it's the unfortunate facts of life that Cubivore likely wouldn't sell well even if it were re-released on the Wii with updated graphics and a new control scheme. Still, in the years that have passed since its original foray into the U.S. market, quirky Japanese titles like Katamari Damacy have made surprising headway among gamers of all ages. Could a budget-priced Cubivore on the Wii, which now has far more reach than the GameCube did in 2002, actually find success? Cubivore would be a longshot for Play on Wii, but not an impossible one -- after all, it was published by none other than the Big N in Japan.

In the meantime, if you don't own the original game and just can't wait to experience the lunacy, a lengthy Let's Play video series can be found on Youtube for your viewing pleasure. Those of you lucky enough to own Cubivore, give that old disc a spin, and remember: "Females just love males with 'Experience!' "

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