The Halo Wedding or: 'With this halo, I thee wed'

Though it's probably ripped more than a few couples asunder, Halo finally united one permanently in Florida last weekend. Desirai Labrada and John Henry marked the beginning of their wedded life with a Halo-themed wedding, complete with John-117 officiating the whole thing.

Hey Kids, Choose Your Own Comedy Adventure!:

Mild: We'd like to pass on our best wishes to the happy couple, and pass along this advice: Don't go to bed in the middle of a disagreement. Or, to put it more succinctly: finish the fight.

Medium: We'd like to wish the couple all the best, and remind them that the best thing for a new marriage is always sitting in separate, darkened rooms in utter silence.

Spicy: Let's see, shall we go with "finally see his man cannon?" What about "wedding night teabagging?" We just can't choose!