noise-canceling earbuds are hot stuff? Imagine if said technology was applied to an advanced type of implantable hearing aid, and you'll have an idea of exactly what Earthlings with severe hearing loss now have to look forward to. For years now, we've watched as cochlear implants became more effective in lab tests, and up until recently, we've had strict medical testing procedures to thank for the inability to actually get one. Now, one Colin Hughes will soon be amongst the first Australians to enjoy a "new bone-anchored hearing aid designed to adjust to noisy environments, quiet conversations and the varying rhythms and pitch of music." Due to a birth defect that left him with atypically narrow eustachian tubes, Colin was never able to take advantage of traditional hearing aids for any length of time, but now these $12,000 (per pair) devices are promising a new life for the 70-year old bloke. Our favorite feature? MP3 players can be directly (and discretely) attached, enabling old geezers to tune out old hags without them ever noticing.