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Guildwatch: Confessions of the guilty

Mike Schramm

Diemm, in this excerpt from a long trade chat screenshot (which you can see in this week's column below), confesses right away to ninja'ing a guild bank -- he was brought into a guild by a merge, and decided he'd rather take everything in the bank than be a part of the guild. As despicable as it is, his honesty is quite refreshing. We have a confession, too: last week's Guild "Goodness" was just an April Fool's joke. In fact, here's the scary part: Jalabharxo, in the intro, who asked for help and actually got it? That's my character. And that was actually the third time I asked a trade chat nicely before I got a clean screenshot I could post -- the other two times, I got made fun of.

So it seems that drama is the norm. Not that there isn't goodness to post -- if you hear of any, let us know, and we'll fit it in. But for now, if you hear about guild drama or downings, feel free to send them to us at

A few quick notes this week: we are no longer posting about Vault of Archavon ninjas because a) there's just too many of them, and b) they often have nothing to do with guilds, and this column is about guild drama, not PuGs. Also, we are way, way backlogged on guild recruitment -- apparently everybody and their guild is recruiting new players. We'll spotlight guilds as we can, but we've got way more coming in than we can post for now. Sorry if your guild got missed, hopefully you'll find the people you need. This week's GW is right after the break.


  • Dominance on Winterhoof had a fun little episode recently: one of their officers emailed a link using the in-game mail to everyone in the guild that supposedly featured a "promotional video." But of course, it turned out to be a keylogger. They think it's the guy's fault, and maybe it is (though trying to hack your own guild? That's wrong). But more likely the guy got hacked and the hackers are trying to nab some suckers, right?
  • Natural Order continues to spread the drama with fervor on Steamwheedle Cartel. Not only did they reportedly pick up a Black War Mammoth from an Archavon run they pugged, but we also hear that a member of their guild actually posted a forum thread complaining that she, as a Druid, didn't get to roll on a cloth piece while filling in for another guild's raid. So ninja-ing (and all of the other stuff they've done over there) is totally fine, but when they don't get a roll for a good reason, they get whiny? Fortunately, that thread's been deleted, along with the news of the Black War Mammoth, but seriously: Natural Order on Steamwheedle. They're going for the Drama Queens of the Year title here.
  • We said we'd never post random ninjas any more, and we still won't, but this one's got a nice guild-related twist. Imeriked, a Death Knight on Dragonblight-H is known as the "failninja" around the server, because when the Blue Proto-drake dropped, despite everyone already rolling on it, he tried to kick everyone but himself out of the group to get it. Needless to say, it didn't work. So he's got kind of a reputation around the server. Still, when The Hilt of Demise (a guild that includes a few of the guys kicked from the failninja run) invited a Death Knight named Disturbed into their guild, they didn't think anything of it -- until someone called out Imeirked and Disturbed (whose name is actually full of weird characters) as the same guy. No idea why he'd want to join a guild he tried to ninja from. They gkicked him.
  • Exiled Dreamers on Proudmoore had a little exile last month -- a guildie decided to have a loot argument in chat during a raid with another guildie... who turned out to be the GL's wife. Kickage ensued, other guildies quit, and now we hear much of the raiding team has reconnected under the name Hysteria. Last we heard, both guilds were now recruiting.
  • Congrats to Cause and Effect on Bloodhoof for clearing out The Immortal in Naxx. Congrats from everyone, that is, but Charade, who turns up on page 3 talking some nonsense about Areans, tinged with some racism about Korean players. We would Armory the guy to check his achievements and see if The Immortal is among them, but whoops -- he's posting on a Death Knight alt. Good show.
  • Sure, some players have a lot of loot issues in Naxx. And yes, Vault of Archavon, with all of the PuGs coming through there, has more than its fair share of drama. But you know what instance will really cause problems, what instance will keep two guilds fighting for forty-five minutes over DPS meters, and then have two guilds flame each other nonstop when a guildie of one gets kicked from the group but won't leave the instance? Heroic Nexus. Way to go, Forbidden Lore and Ascendent on Wyrmrest Accord. No two guilds have ever pulled so much whining and QQ out of a Heroic instance before. Grats,
  • We're just going to show you this trade chat from Dentarg (about a guild named Reign) uncut. Bewarned there is some NSFW language in it.
  • And speaking of NSFW language, here's a vent recording from a few guys on Cho'gall, who invited a kid into their run who didn't really... appreciate it much. It is full of offensive language, but also very funny if you like that kind of thing.
  • Parms is a DPS Warrior on Draka in Order of Illuminatus (at least we think he still is) who decided that he was tired of the way his casual guild worked and posted on the forums that he was "looking for guild," and any hardcore guilds that wanted to come along and pick him up as the amazing player he is could do so whenever they wanted. Only he kind of forgot that OI could read the forums, too, and obviously they're not happy that he's trash-talking his own guild while simultaneous advertising himself for a "better" one. We hear that they have only demoted him, not kicked him yet, but why not lose the guy? He sounds like he wants out, and he definitely doesn't seem like someone you'd want to keep around, even if he is demoted to the "Sheep" rank. Let some other guild, hardcore or casual, deal with the guy's issues. (Update: Karma sure does come around, doesn't it? We hear this is Parms, now named Doejah.)
  • The Bullpen on Kargath is celebrater their fourth anniversary last month. That makes for four years (almost as many as the game as a whole) of casual raiding. Grats!
  • The Lost Soldiers of Darkness of Area 52 killed Sartharion 3D with 10 people and no Voidwalker tanks. They are now recruiting Shadow Priests and Resto Shaman, too.
  • Magick Mercantile of Lightninghoof is a reformed raiding guild -- they've downed Vault and OS 10-mans within two days of getting back together. They're also recruiting any classes, level 80 and up, and they'll help you get to 80 fast if you need it.
  • Nepentheum, a late night Horde raiding huild on Trollbane US downed Sarth 3D after being around for only three months. They even sent video or it didn't happen.
  • Sacred Mojo of Nesingwary did The Undying with a great 10-man group, and are also working on perfecting Sarth 2 and 3D. They're also recruiting a Resto Shaman, and a Shadow Priest.
  • The Vagrant/Silvermoon Guardians 10-man raid on The Scryers achieved The Undying. Nice job.
  • Occult on Jaedenar cleared out Sarth 3D on 10-man, and finished off six-minute Malygos on 25-man, too. Then, just to wrap up the week, they got The Immortal as well. Good week.
  • Nothing Else Matters on EU Draenor got down not only 10-man Malygos, but also Sarth 1D, both times just because they were bored and decided to try it.
  • Eternal Scars (server?) has downed VoA, Sarth by himself, and Spider Wing and the first two Plague Wing bosses in Naxx. Grats!
  • After a few weeks of being roadblocked by Grobbulus and Gluth, Tastes Like Crit of Muradin beat them down, and followed that up with first attempt downings of Thaddius and Sapphiron. Kel'Thuzad is on notice. They're also recruiting easygoing, casual raiders for 25-mans in the future.
  • Knights of Ni on Dawnbringer has now completed all of the traditional end-game content by downing heroic Malygos. They're hoping to beat down Sarth 2 and 3D by the time Ulduar rolls around.
  • Malice on Haomarush downed Heroic Sarth 2D, and have all three drakes on notice. All the rest of the content is on farm. Congrats!
  • Red Dragon Society of Bonechewer downed Heroic Sarth 3D, and is now moving on to other Heroic achievements while preparing for Ulduar.
  • Government Muscle on Norgannon has achieved server-first of The Immortal. They're also recruiting a few more players -- check the website for more.
  • DizzyGizmo on EU Earthern Ring-H finally downed Sarth 3D Heroic after quite a few too many wipe nights They've now cleared all content before Ulduar. They're also recruiting: all specs of DK, Hunters, Ret and Holy Paladins, Shadow and Holy Priests, all specs of Shaman, and Arms and Fury Warriors.
  • The Hammer of Go'el (of Moon Guard-H) has cleared out Naxxramas for the first time. Grats! Malygos is on notice. They too are recruiting (man, who isn't lately?).
  • Subterfuge from the Venture Co. downed Heroic Sarth 3D. Grats!
  • Sea Dragons of Thunderhorn finally downed Malygos 10, thus clearing all 10-man content in the game. They are currently recruiting tanks and healers for 25 mans and looking forward to Ulduar.
  • Good Omen on EU Deathwing earned The Immortal and had most of their members also pick up the Glory of the Raider. Grats!
  • The Shenanigans raid team, one of the six groups of dedicated raiders in Stonewall Champions on Proudmoore, downed Sartharion with three drakes up. Game: beaten.
  • Kamikaze Penguins on Uther got The Immortal as well, and they believe they were server first to do so. Grats!
  • Frantic Disposition on Burning Legion cleared out Naxx for the first time. OS and Vault went down pretty fast, but Naxx had been giving them some trouble, so they're glad to see it downed. Way to go!
  • Broken Symmetry of Duskwood has Naxx 10 pretty much on farm and got their first Malygos 10-man the other week. They've also downed Sarth 1D Heroic, and will be working on Sarth 2D Heroic soon.
  • There and Lost Again on Darkspear has cleared out all of Naxx 10 except Kel'thuzad, and have him on notice. They've also finished off OS, and are seeing a few more tanks and healers.
  • Minimalistix Gaming (Horde guild on EU Terokkar) downed Heroic Malygos and Heroic Sartharion 2D the other week, claiming Horde firsts for the server.
  • Risen From Darkness on Moonrunner-A ran a first run of all-guildies through Naxx, and cleared it out. They were headed to Sarth 2D last we heard -- good luck!
  • PandaMonium of EU Aerie Peak cleared out Naxx 10-man the other week. They're also recruiting, to build up a 25-man group.
  • Bisdak of Kul Tiras downed Heroic Kel'thuzad, clearing out Heroic Naxx. And their 10-man groups are working on Sarth 2D and Malygos as well.
  • Evo Gaming on Spinebreaker nabbed the Immortal title after quite a bit of work. They're hoping to do the same in Ulduar.
  • Halcyon Knights of EU Kilrogg are elated to have cleared normal Naxx before patch 3.1 and Ulduar arriving. Congrats!
  • Preposterous of Khaz Modan downed Heroic Sartharion 3D with just 24 people! Nice job.
  • Divinity on Azuremyst-A finished off 10-man Malygos as well as Sarth 1D. They're also looking for healers and tanks for 25-man Naxx and possibly a second ten man group.
  • Adrastos (server?) finally got The Immortal after many weeks of "failing in every possible way imaginable." They're not kidding either: one of the raid used Baby Spice on Patchwerk mid-fight, thereby changing his hitbox size and consequently one-shotting a Ret Pally. That's hardcore fail right there. They're also recruiting a Hunter and a Death Knight tank.
  • Entropy on EU Chamber of Aspects-A finally got enough raiders on the team to complete Heroic Naxx and Heroic Malygos, leaving everything but Sarth 2/3D cleared. They're still seeking healers as well.
  • Shut Up and Color on Echo Isles downed Kel'Thuzad for the first time, later went into the Obsidian Sanctum and killed Sarth and Tenebron at the same time, and even took out Malygos for good measure. That's good work.
  • Dark Aftermath of Kilrogg has downed Malygos 10-man and Heroic Sarth 1D, but still no luck with Heroic Malygos even "after eleventy billion wipes." Hang in there?
  • Order of Serenity on Uther cleared out Heroic Malygos for the first time! They're aiming for Sarth 3D before Ulduar, and we wish them luck.
  • LEGION of the Shu'Halo server downed Heroic Malygos for the first time last weekend. Grats!
  • Twilight Alliance Gamers of Mok'Nathal managed to clear the Arachnid Quarter of Naxx for the first time with great teamwork and an increase in DPS. They're also farming normal Sartharion, too.
  • Dawn Vigil (Feathermoon-H) finished off the Glory of the Raider achievement, completing Sarth 3D, and achieving The Undying. Way to go!
  • Sparkle Magic (sometimes, I doubt your commitment to them) is a GLBT friendly raiding guild on Proudmoore that is currently recruiting Resto Shamans and Druids. They've got quite a few Horde firsts, including 25 and 10-man Sarth 3D. They say they "intend to raid Ulduar as though the fate of Neil Patrick Harris depends on us." We're guessing that's good? We have no idea.
  • Tranquility is an established, casual, adult only, Alliance guild on EU Quel'thalas. Currently they've got 10man Naxx on farm and working on getting Malygos down. They are looking for more players of any class/spec to fill out a second 10-man raid team, with a view to moving forward into 25-man content. All classes and specs welcome.
  • Pride of St George on EU Nordrassil-A is a friendly (if slightly batty) social guild with a raiding group that raids for fun while actually managing to be good at it. 10-man progression is the name of the game, and Sarth and Naxx are down with most quarters on farm, with Malygos, Sarth with drakes, and eventually Ulduar on tap. Both social and raiding members are welcome.
  • Susan Express of Bladefist-H is currently recruiting. 10-man Naxx is on farm, and as of last month they've started progressing through 25-man Naxx. They're mostly looking for ranged DPS at the moment, to fill in a few of the leftover PuG spots.
  • Occido Fetialis of Doomhammer-H is recruiting -- they've cleared most of the content so far, but have done so with only 20 players or less, so they could really use a few more for Heroic raids. They are currently seeking Resto Druids, Resto Shaman, and Warlocks, and may also have room for a Mage, Shadow Priest, Feral Druid, and Hunter.
  • Absolution on Black Dragonflight-H is recruiting all DPS classes for raiding slots, and tanks and healers for backup positions. Non-DPS who are willing to respec when needed are appreciated and will get consideration for main spec loot and first promotions to main spec raid slots when available. They run a loot council for distribution, but if you're fine with that, look them up.
  • RelentIess is a Horde 25-man raiding guild on EU Neptulon that has cleared all game content except Sarth 3D. They're a mature guild based in the UK, but have members from all over the world. They're down with progression a little more than epics and are seeking players with a similar 'tude. They're recruiting all classes for 3.1 and are ready for Ulduar.
  • Priority One of Staghelm-H is a late-night raiding guild that's recruiting healers and some strong DPS to fill out the raiding roster. They raid four nights a week at 10pm EST and are looking to jump right into Ulduar. All content is cleared except Heroic Malygos, who is on notice.
  • Dead Puppy Brigade of Vek'nilash-H is currently recruiting more players to form a second 10-man group and move into 25-man content. Currently need all positions, healers especially. They raid Thursday through Sunday evenings, and are pretty casual about everything until they get to bosses. Progression and fun are equally important.
  • Legacy of the Horde from Mannoroth is recruiting raiders for all 25-man content. They are accepting healers of any class with select DPS spots open, though they're not taking Rogues, Death Knights, or tanks of any class.
  • Death Group on Quel'Dorei is recruiting a Feral Tank, a Mage, and a Resto Druid. Sarth 3D is clear on both 10 and 25-man, and they're getting ready for Ulduar.
  • Blood Ravens on the Saurfrang-A are recruiting all levels who are interested in having a fun time while leveling. They're also aiming to get a 10-man raiding team together eventually.
  • Nevermore on Frostmane-A is back after a short hiatus and rebuilding to get ready for Ulduar.
  • Lordaeron Philharmonic (winner of this week's Best Guild Name award, from Kirin Tor-H) is a friendly, casual 10-man guild (Sarth, Naxx on farm) that raids three nights a week. They're looking for mature, dedicated, and intelligent raiders (all classes and specs) to fill out a core roster.
  • Afflicted of the Proudmoore realm is now recruiting members to expand their friendly raid team in preparation for Ulduar. All classes considered. They're a well-established friends and family guild that places a premium on fun, not drama. They enjoy and take part in all aspects of the game, but the primary focus is progression raiding through all end-game content.
  • Death Chase is a brand new guild on the Zuluhed server Horde side. They are currently accepting characters at any level, and plan on grouping and leveling together on the way to eventual end game.
  • Cause for Concern on Dark Iron is currently recruiting for Heroic Naxx / Ulduar and any up and coming endeavors. They're good on 10-mans, but need a few more to fill out the 25-man raids, everything but Rogues and Death Knights.
That's it for GW this week. Until next week, happy raiding!

That not enough guild news for you? There's lots more Guildwatch in the archives, including an honest-to-goodness /gkick contract, and lots of red-handed bank looting. Wherever people /gquit or are /gkicked, that's where you'll find GW!

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