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Whoa! Max Payne is a total slob

Other possible headlines included:

  • Drink Hard: Max Payne grows up to be John McClane

  • Max Stain 3: The Filth of Max Payne

  • or simply: Max Payne throws up all over his shirt, exclusive pics inside

So, when we first heard that Rockstar Vancouver's Max Payne 3 would deliver a "more world-weary and cynical" Max, chronicling the "downward spiral of his life" in convenient gameplay format, we balked. "More cynical?" we responded. Of course we now realize that the fool-proof formula for creating a character "more cynical" requires taking already cynical Max Payne and removing all regard for hygiene and physical appearance.

Alright, Rockstar. Fair enough. You win on the "more cynical" thing ... now let's see you work this into the gameplay. Maybe a showering minigame? Or escort missions to the dry cleaners. We're just riffin' here ... hey, where are you going?