National Institute on Media and the Family. They're infamous for issuing typically low-scoring report cards to the ESRB and other entities in the gaming industry, and for propagating the values of the group's founder, psychologist David Walsh. However, it seems NIMF has executed its final evaluation -- according to the St. Paul-based Star Tribune, the organization will shutter its doors on Dec. 31.
We bet some of you are overjoyed that the immeasurably critical group is shutting down -- however, without their constant panning, we expect violence in video games to grow unchecked within the next few months. Soon, every title, from Peggle to Viva Piñata, will be bogged down by excessive amounts of gore. All games will be federally required to contain guns. Titles from previous console generations which don't adhere to this rule will be destroyed, Fahrenheit 451 style. The industry will crash like a sack of lead bricks -- all because NIMF wasn't there to keep it in line.
To quote Joni Mitchell, "Don't it always seem to go/ That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone."