April Fools: PopCap announces Celebrity Bejeweled

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April Fools: PopCap announces Celebrity Bejeweled
Usually, we put out these April Fools' Day PSAs to inform you when a partially realistic story is actually bunko -- but you could probably guess this one's a total joke. PopCap recently distributed a press release announcing Celebrity Bejeweled, a new iteration of its lucrative puzzle franchise where the standard multicolored gemstones are replaced by "holographic likenesses of gem-named superstars," including Neil Diamond, Jewel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Sadly, prolific disco bassist Topaz Wilson didn't make the cut -- largely because we just made him up.

The $2,000 collector's edition of the non-game also comes with DNA samples from the featured celebrities, which can be used for "home chemistry experiments, various forms of extortion and/or sale on eBay." Thanks, PopCap, but we've already got like, four or five vials of Neil Diamond sweat around the house. We're all good, in that respect.
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