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Choose My Adventure: Troll stories

Robin Torres
Updated ·5 min read

Choose the adventures of the WoW.com staff as we level our characters in <It came from the Blog> on Zangarmarsh (US-PvE-H).

This week, we have trolls. No, I don't mean the trolls complaining that <It came from the Blog> is a Horde guild. I mean our lovely troll ladies are telling us stories of their recent encounters. But first, the schedule for the rest of the week:

  • Robin Torres as Robinemia, the undead mage: Wednesday, 11 p.m. EDT

  • Amy Schley as Patent, the troll rogue: Thursday, 10 p.m. EDT

  • Fox Van Allen as Foxlight, the blood elf paladin: Friday, 8 p.m. EDT

  • Michael Sacco as Sahko, the orc warlock; Christian Belt, as Selfloathius, the blood elf warlock; Elizabeth Harper as Faience, the troll shaman; Matthew Rossi as Andrenorton, the troll mage; Michael Gray as Grayfields, the tauren hunter; Adam Holisky as Adammentat, the tauren druid; and Gregg Reece as Yakkowakko, the orc warlock, will be making appearances as they can

Turn the page if you want to read about Annephora and Patent.




Anne Stickney as Annephora

Mama,

Hope you be doin well and de spirits watchin over joo. I met de nicest man I ever saw today. He big, strong, missin an eye but I tink it from big battle or someting. 'is name be Tah're, work on ship! Big ship, sails from Booty Bay to Ratchet. I try to get 'is attention, didn't work. I smile all shy and winsome, I stand by him wit Tai'tasi (Tai'tasi is kitty, sent to me by nice lady!) and watch him sail de ship, don't matter dat he missin an eye mama, he know just where ta go! But 'e didn't even notice I was dere. I do more errands for de trolls out 'ere in Stranglethorn, dey very nice, but none as nice as Tah're. I tink mebbe my heart break a little mama. I know joo and papa been together long long long time, 'ow do I get 'is attention?

Spirits be wit joo,
Annephora

P.S. I be in de middle o' findin out what happen to Yenniku, chief's son. I be doin important tings, not just watchin nice man, swear!

Annephora,

When I met joo daddy, 'e pay me no attention till one day, love hit 'im ovah de head like lightnin and 'e see me fo de first time. Dat when 'e knew. We 'ave all kind o' romance, 'e take me all ovah de isles -- we live on de Broken Isles back in de day. Every time 'e see anotha woman, didn't matter -- love would strike 'im and all 'e would see be me. Den we have joo! You papa very smart, very wise -- 'e know when 'e got good ting, nevah want to lose it. Every time 'e tink o' wanderin, love be dere to remind 'im 'o me.

Do what I do: get big rock. Call it "love." Make sure joo be standin just behind 'im, and don't swing ta hard.

Spirits watch ovah joo,
Mama

Amy Schley as Patent

Hey dere mon, dis week you gets a double helpin' of da Patent troll. Dese last two weeks been lotsa fun!

First, two weeks, I went down to da pirate ships south of Ratchet to practice pickin' locks. Sadly, dis took about half an hour jus' ta be good enough for my rogue tranin' quest. Also, gettin' frozen in place or turned into rat not be fun. Afta' that, I headed down to da Northwatch Keep ta kill some Alliance dogs. A group of deir big heros decided to prove how tough dey was by attackin' da Crossroads, so I wanted ta stay away from dat voodoo mon. So as I was goin' down ta kill da soldiers, I see dis one Alliance pally all by his lonesome. I ask my guild buddies what ta do, and dey think attacking him be fun.

I snuck up behind him, stabbed him in da back, and den he proceeded to kick my troll butt. He killed me. I ran back to my corpse. He killed me again. I ran back to my corpse again. He killed me again. Dis time, I talk to the spirit healer and run up a mountain until my Horde pride be a little more subdued. Da Thrall-mon be great, but he's not out here to defend me! After dat, I go back to killing da soldiers. Dis stupid human, he starts pointing me out to da soldiers, warning dem about me, and trying to heal dem as I be attackin'. Dat not cool mon. Only good ding be dat de soldiers didn't seem ta listen to him.

Anyway, dis last week be interestin' too. I got tired of killin' all dis stuff in de Barrens. I know dat's where you wanted me ta do my rogue trainin' but I couldn't take it anymore, mon. So I gots together wit' some random people to go kill some monsters at dis haunted castle. After da fourth time somebody decides to drop group because da tank can't hold aggro but he talks like he da best tank in da world, I decide ta leave. 'Course, by dat time, I gots a new sword and shoulder pads. I decide ta try again, and dis group be awesome! Nobody dies, I can do lots of damage, and I even gets a cloak and gloves. Yeah, mon, life be good for da Patent troll. And what make it even betta?

Yeah, dat's my raptor!

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If you want to join in on the fun of Choose My Adventure, please join us on Zangarmarsh (US-PVE-H) in <It came from the Blog>. Ask Robiness, Robinemia or any member online for an invite. Guild ranks of Lurker or above have the ability to invite. You are all welcome as long as you play by our simple rules, which can be summed up with "Don't be a Funsucker!" Also, please see the guild FAQ for the most common questions.