Around Azeroth: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome
Ever wonder what happens to raid bosses after you kill them? Yeah, me neither. But Putricide of <Anguish> on Auchindoun (US-H) was determined to follow the exploits of his namesake after the events of Icecrown Citadel, and wrote a little (well, not so little) story about Professor Putricide's adventures in Azeroth. Read on after the cut! Now with bonus Futurama references!
"Good news, everyone! Icecrown Citadel was merely a setback! At least that's what I was telling everyone in Dalaran when I arrived there from the Citadel. You see, I was in my lab working on a new plague (I was pretty close too!) when all of a sudden a large group of people stormed into my quarter and killed my sons' dogs! I figured something had gone wrong with one of the Lich King's recent experiments or something, so I shrugged it off, but then those same people killed my children! It would take me another six months to build new ones!"
"However, I remained optimistic and continued my work. Then the people broke into my lab! MY LAB! And attempted to kill me! I honestly couldn't think of a single reason why someone would want me dead. I'm doing great things! So I put up a good fight, but they cheated and used one of my potions against me, and I was unable to defeat them all, even with the aid of some of my experimental elixirs. A few hours later I awoke on my lab floor, my pockets suspiciously empty of the items I had been holding onto to tinker with.
"Something was different, though. My head felt a bit odd, like all of a sudden I didn't feel bound to this quarter of the Citadel. So then I walked outside my quarter to find a large number of corpses. I attempted to contact the Lich King with my experimental communication device, but I did not receive any kind of response. So I decided to teleport right up to the Throne itself, only to find the Lich King dead and some other burnt corpse in his seat. I scratched my head and walked back to the Spire to find everyone dead. All of the San'layn, Sindragosa, and even Lord Marrowgar and Lady Deathwhisper, as well as that new rookie the Lich King brought in, Saurfang.
"I started to think about what I could do with all these fresh corpses, but figured that experimenting all alone wouldn't be quite as enjoyable. So I ran back into my quarter and picked up some fresh garments, and fixed the other lens of my glasses, and left the Citadel to find a new place of work. I took a nearby Skeletal Gryphon around Northrend and discovered that not too far from the Citadel was a floating city! Upon getting close I recognized the city as Dalaran. So I flew down, hoping that the Kirin Tor would allow me to continue my work. Once I landed, though, the people had other ideas for me. They quickly attacked me, yelling something about 'loots,' and so I hopped back onto my gryphon and flew away.
"I didn't know where to go, but I longed to continue with my experiments. In my travels I ran into a small group of people that told me that a town called 'Undercity' would appreciate my work. So I waved goodbye and left them a free sample of a potion I cooked up earlier and took off. While I was flying away, I took note that the travelers all dropped shortly after drinking the potion. I couldn't tell if they were sleeping or dead, but either way, I would have to remember that recipe. Once I reached the gates to this Undercity, the orc guards stopped me and asked for my name. When I had said my true name back in Dalaran, it was what set the people off, so this time I decided to go with a different name and told the guards that I was Apothecary Farnsworth. I don't know why I chose that name, but it seemed to just come to me. (Editor's note: Good news, everyone! New Futurama tonight!)
"They could tell by my garments I was a scientist, so they quickly took me to a very large quarter that specialized in exactly what I had been working on! Plagues! I was overjoyed! However, the other apothecaries didn't really care for my optimism. They asked me who I was and where I came from, and I told them I had been working in Northrend for a extended period of time and they accepted it. So now I can finally enjoy myself again and continue on with my work. I'm currently working on a new abomination and I just can't wait to show it off to all the other apothecaries. This one is going to utilize both slime and gas! However, because of this, the work I'm doing is somewhat delicate. If something were to hit the city with enough power to cave in the roof or something, it could destroy all my hard work. But I'm sure nothing within the next few months could possibly do that kind of damage, right?"
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