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Facebook officially has 500 million users, most of whom think Zuckerberg is a creep

Laura June

That's right, Mark Zuckerberg's just announced via the official Facebook blog that the site now has 500 million users. The social networking site -- which has been reuniting girls with their long lost best friends from third grade since February of 2004 -- also simultaneously announced something called Facebook Stories, which is, well totally uninteresting. Regardless, that's an insane and impressive number, so kudos! Now, back to your fake lawn mowing or whatever it is you do (cue the children's choir singing Radiohead songs).

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