Alliance veterans who made it through the early Northrend campaign may recall a battalion of draenei troops in Valiance Keep attempting to convince the Alliance leadership to allow them to join the ground forces. They were turned away, of course, due to Counselor Talbot's unfortunate mental state at the time. This wasn't a solitary incident, and it was hardly the first time a group of soldiers was turned away due to claims of being "too exotic" for the average Northrend conscript. Many night elves received the same response until Talbot was returned to his normal state.
Traveling to Northrend takes time and resources, both of which a protracted series of skirmishes with the Horde on Kalimdor tax. A regiment of sentinels turned away from Northrend takes quite some time to return to Teldrassil and even longer to return to Northrend upon Alliance leadership discovering the machinations of the Cult that caused their departure in the first place.
Our bond with the Alliance is strong. We made great strides against Malygos' zealots and helped return much of Northrend to a balanced state during the campaign against the Lich King. But even with those factors in mind, being a night elf in the Alliance means understanding one simple fact: Our race is responsible, in one way or another, for nearly every catastrophe ever visited upon Azeroth. I believe in the importance and worth of our people, but I wouldn't blame any Alliance leader -- or any Alliance soldier, for that matter -- from being skittish about working with us.
To his impressive personage, Grand Magister Rommath of Silvermoon (etc., etc.):
The other night, I was having my nails done in Silvermoon when a bunch of Alliance scum ran through and started messing around in your Spire. I had a good view of it from the salon, and I thought the fight seemed pretty well-matched, because there were three of you and only about 50 of them.
Well, Grand Magister, I am sorry to say that you did not pull your weight at all. See, here's what I've come to suspect: The emperor (magister?) has no clothes. I mean, you're supposed to be this amazing hot-shot magister, and all you did was sort of stand there and auto-attack -- with your big sissy staff, I might add. It's the most embarassing thing in Silvermoon, and that's saying a lot. Do you know what they call you in Stormwind? "The Weakest Link."
I mean, really -- auto-attack? You're a mage. Can't you even cast a level one frost bolt occasionally, just to mix it up?
Anonymous Orc Warrior
Look. Maybe you're unfamiliar with arcane magic. Maybe you just don't understand how these things work. But I've been studying ancient texts for a long time, and if there's one thing that everybody knows about being a wizard, it's that you can only cast the good spells once a day. I spend most mornings practicing spells and using up my daily store of them in the process. What do you want me to do when the Alliance comes knocking on the Spire doors after sunset? Conjure bread at them? Give them a nice meal before they murder me in cold blood? No. If I'm going to die, I'm going to make sure it's at the hands of several people who'll really regret coming all the way to Silvermoon without bringing a snack.
To Highlord Darion Mograine:
Being a troll death knight, I was rather distraught that I missed out on offing Arthas, but I suppose that's my own fault for spending so long in Sholazar Basin (I just wanted a damn Proto-Drake!). My actual question is: Why didn't we bring the Ebon Hold with us, and what are we going to do with it now? I mean, I love having a giant evil floating fortress as much as the next unholy abomination against life, but what's the point of it now and why did we leave it in the Plaguelands? Was the freaky soul-harvested fuel a bit too expensive to fly it all the way up to Northrend? Or are you just really bad at driving?
Fraggranark, soon-to-be extinct DPS blood death knight
P.S. Can you see about letting me keep my blood DPS? I love it so.
You're aware, I'm sure, that as Arthas' former right-hand men, we've no shortage of necromantic powers. What Arthas failed to teach his best and brightest, however, is how to move a giant floating fortress across an ocean. I'm sure it was the next item on his list, right after "extinguish the flame of life from all living things." Now that he's gone, I think the best we can do is to keep it floating. Maybe we can turn it into some kind of flight hub -- an "air port," if you will.
At a recent press conference you called specially to unveil your goatee, trolls everywhere gasped in wonder. You're the first troll I've ever seen with facial hair! What is your secret, mon!? Tell us so that we, too, may grow amazing facial hair!
Quit shavin', mon! How ya t'ink ya grow it?
Next up: Malfurion Stormrage! Send your questions to the address below.
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