Advertisement

Press your ashes into vinyl for £2000, FLAC download free with purchase

We've heard a lot about the death of the record industry, but this is ridiculous! And Vinyly (get it? get it?) will press your charred remains into your very own hyper-personalized spinning analog musical platter. The starter kit comes with your own generic gravestone-style cover art, 24 minutes of audio of your choosing, and 30 copies of your final release. If you're looking for something a little more flashy, £3500 gets you a painted cover portrait, £500 gets a song written and produced just for your dead self, and £1000 gets your record distributed to brick-and-mortar stores all over the world. And Vinyly will upsell you all the way to a £10,000 FUNeral, where you can be sure the DJ will be playing you-know-what. They also do pets.