Crapgadget: 'atrocious amalgam' edition

Sure, it may not be as functional as a 3 megapixel camera conspicuously disguised as a magnetic cat, but what could be more secure than an oversized pseudo-padlock thumbdrive? Not your style? Well, surely you have use for a new towel, complete with iPhone pocket? No? Might you enjoy re-training yourself to breathe while basking in the glow of your iPod-ready black light? Fine. Negative Nancy (shown above). We'll just leave you to your USB-warmed coffee and rage relief button. When you're ready to come out and play, hit up the links below to help us crown the king of crappy combos.

Read - Brando Flash Drive (Looks like a padlock!)
Read - USB cup warmer (with a massive 56-inch USB cable!)
Read - A black light -- with an iPod dock!
Read - Visualizing pulse meter (for learning how to breathe!)
Read - Gym towel iPhone pocket!
Read - The unfortunate offspring of the Staples Easy Button's sordid love affair with a stress ball.