Two Bosses Enter: The final matchup, Lord Godfrey vs. Zanzil

Mathew McCurley
M. McCurley|10.25.11

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Two Bosses Enter: The final matchup, Lord Godfrey vs. Zanzil
In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, the bosses of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

Welcome to the grand season finale of Two Bosses Enter. This is the final matchup for the season, pitting Shadowfang Keep resident badass Lord Godfrey against Zul'Gurub resident badass Zanzil. Poisons versus pistols. Fire versus fashion. Ghouls versus zombies. This is the big one, people. Get ready to vote for who takes it all home on Two Bosses Enter Cataclysm Season 2.

I'll be honest -- I never thought that I would be writing down these words in this competition. Zanzil has won out over Vanessa VanCleef by a mere 13 votes. Thirteen votes. Almost 5,000 votes were tallied, and Zanzil won by only 13 votes. The legions of Vanessa VanCleef fans failed to stop the Troll juggernaut. We live in end times, friends.


The rules of the ring
  • The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
  • Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
  • All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
  • Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
  • Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
  • Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
In Corner One: Lord Godfrey

Having Lord Godfrey in the final matchup of the season is something that brings me all sorts of joy. Not only is Godfrey one bad melon farmer, but he also has the gumption, power, skills, and savvy to best the Dark Lady herself. No one crosses the Dark Lady, and Godfrey lived (died?) to tell the tale. Zanzil is going to have his work cut out for him, as a storm of bullets is heading his way. Lord Godfrey is your first contestant in the Two Bosses Enter final matchup.

Godfrey's abilities include:
In Corner Two: Zanzil

The unlikeliest of champions has arisen from the wreckage of a season fraught with Troll-haters and devastating losses for the Troll heroic bosses. Zanzil stood above the rest, overcoming his status as Troll boss with cool aesthetics, a great storyline, badass quotes and a penchant for destroying those who can't follow simple directions. Can Zanzil turn the tide against Lord Godfrey and put cauldrons ahead of pistols? Zanzil is your second combatant in the Two Bosses Enter season finale fight.

Zanzil's abilities include:
Last Week's Winner: Zanzil

There has never been a greater upset in the history of Two Bosses Enter than a Troll boss beating out the fan-favoritest of fan-favorites, Vanessa VanCleef. A Troll beat Vanessa VanCleef. Alex Ziebart is crying his poor eyes out. The vote tally was so incredibly close. Can you believe this? I can't.

First off, we had almost 5,000 votes for this matchup, meaning people really wanted to see the conclusion of this whole mess. The commenters love Zanzil and would love nothing more than to see their favorite Troll in the finals, but not everyone likes to comment and, in reality, voters come from all walks of WoW life. Vanessa has her fans; Zanzil has his. There was nothing in the way of these two titans. Only votes mattered now.

Some fans like Marcoscr05 got a little too into wanting Vanessa to fall to the king of cauldrons:
I'm willing to become a zombie and help zanzil beating Vanessa if it's necessary. But for now Team Zanzil just has my vote.
Slow down there, buddy. I don't think that's exactly what you want, but the sentiment comes across loud and clear. It was a decisive matchup for sure, but you might want to stick around with the living just for a bit longer.

Alurius brings down the cold hard facts with Zanzil's precedent as a force to be reckoned with.
Vanessa may be an expert in poison use, but Zanzil is the ORIGINAL witch doctor of Vanilla WoW. His quests were the bane of the Darkspear trolls, his concotions were used as far as the Shimmering Flats, and he was one of the few trolls to keep the original witch doctor model.

Only through the use of many different Cardboard Assassins could the young VanCleef win. Maybe.
Finally, my favorite description of the fight comes from GhostWhoWalks, who just goes with the most diabolic, awful, mean-spirited, two-timing, sneaky, and soul-crushing strategy used by Zanzil to best VanCleef. Seems appropriate, no?
"Our first combatant for this match really knows how to wield her influence over the voting public, in this corner...Vanessa VanCleef!"

Vanessa adjusted her red mask and checked her stock of venoms; she knew her upcoming opponent made extensive use of poisonous mixtures, and the young Defias boss would need to have her own toxins ready as a counter while ensuring that she breathed in as little of the deadly gasses as possible.

"And in this corner, a crafty survivor who has weathered the dangers of Stranglethorn for many years...Zanzil the Outcast!"

The troll witch-doctor entered the arena ahead of a crew of Argent soldiers, who grimaced from the stench of the supplies they were being forced to cart into the fight, including a pile of corpses and Zanzil's cauldrons.

"Oooh, pretty..." Zanzil commented, eyeing up the bare skin left exposed by Vanessa's outfit, then added with a giggle "Zanzil's got big plans for dis one!"

"Plans? Your plans are worthless, troll." Vanessa snapped her fingers and a team of Defias elites emerged from the shadows behind her. "My fate is my own, and no one else's."

"Hoho, little girl's got friends, eh?" The witch-doctor's voice suddenly turned indignant as he pulled out a vial of red chemicals. "Bah, who needs friends? Zanzil just makes his own, hahaha!" He tossed the vial into the cluster of corpses that the Argents had carried in for him, reanimating many of the bodies into zombies, and pulled out his green and blue vials as well.

Vanessa and her guards readied themselves to fight off the undead, until they noticed a human male among the crowd of zombies wearing the tatters of a black uniform and a red mask that covered the lower half of his face. Vanessa's mouth hung open behind her own mask, and her widened eyes began to water up with tears. ""

Zanzil walked alongside his zombies as they slowly approached the stunned Defias. "You recognize dis one, no? Zanzil finds him washed up in de rivers, gets to thinking to himself 'Now dis one'd make a fine zombie!' Zanzil hears about who he's fightin' in de little tournament, decides to hurry up and stitch dis one back together so we could have a little family reunion!"

Vanessa fell to her knees and sobbed as the corpse of her father stood before her, the anguish of loss and grief from her childhood years rushing back to overpower her desire for revenge; after all, he was the reason why she had wanted that revenge so badly. "Father, I...I've tried so hard to m-make you proud...the things I've had to's been so hard...without you and mom...b-but..."

"Heyyy, Zanzil knows how tough it be." The troll was now kneeling beside her, a comforting arm draped over her shoulders. "You try to show de world your talents, but nobody appreciates it. Here, you drink dis and feel better."

Wiping tears away from her face, Vanessa pulled down her mask, oblivious to the cries for aid from her guards as a Berserker pounded them flat, and accepted the cup the witch-doctor was offering her. "Thank you." she said before downing the cool liquid. Too late, she realized, the memories of the past had blinded her to the dangers of the present. Chocking rasps emanated from her throat and she fell backward onto the ground, her body convulsing. Zanzil rose to his feet and watched with amusement as the human girl writhed in agony for a few moments, then lay still.

"Hehehahahahaaa! Don't worry, little one. Zanzil won't leave you dead for long."
Readers, the choice is yours and yours alone. Who takes the top spot this season on Two Bosses Enter?


The battle begins!

Remember, Two Bosses Enter matchups are all about substance and style, not gameplay, mechanics, and numbers. Don't base your strategies on player tactics, which opponent has been easiest or most difficult for you personally, or the difficulty of each opponent relative to instance progression. Vote for the spirit of the battle as set forth above. Set aside differences in opponents' health pools, game level, and actual damage output. Absolutely no game mechanics nitpicking!

Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.
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