Two Bosses Enter: Yorg Stormheart vs. Brann Bronzebeard

Mathew McCurley
M. McCurley|12.26.11

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Two Bosses Enter: Yorg Stormheart vs. Brann Bronzebeard
In Two Bosses Enter, WoW Insider's series of fantasy death matches, bosses, leaders, and powerful figures of World of Warcraft face off in the squared circle. Your vote determines who wins and claims the season title.

The battle between Yorg Stormheart and Aethas Sunreaver was a much, much closer match than I had anticipated ever happening between a dwarf and a blood elf. Seriously, you guys, how do you keep pulling these fast ones on me? Every week, I am surprised by the results -- except any week in which Brann is present.

Speaking of weeks in which Brann is present, Yorg Stormheart has successfully bested Archmage Aethas Sunreaver in the WoW Insider ring and moves on to the final matchup. Brann Bronzebeard is the only obstacle that stands in the way of total Two Bosses Enter domination, but there is still a long, rough week ahead for the voting.

Many of you are now realizing that the battle unfolding on the next page is, in fact, between two brothers. If you didn't realize that until now, avert your shock and awe for mere moments until the voting is done, and then continue your amazement at the final matchup between Brann Bronzebeard and Muradin Bronzebeard, brothers until the end. Since this final matchup is a little different than most, how about we mess with the rules a little bit, too?

Instead of the routine no-holds-barred mayhem we usually let these combatants get into, what about a good old-fashioned dwarven drinking contest? Who wins this matchup, WoW Insider community? Only you can decide.

Who drinks who under the table?


The rules of the ring
  • The WoW Insider Ring is considered neutral territory, where both combatants are able to access their usual encounter mechanics and abilities. If you can't visualize it inside the squared circle, visualize it someplace else -- but you must take into consideration all of each bosses' abilities and mechanics.
  • Assume that each opponent is intelligent and capable of strategic thinking.
  • All of the competitors' abilities, including crowd control and other effects to which bosses are usually immune, work on their opponents (with apologies to considerations of lore on this point).
  • Assume that the opponents share similar levels, health pools, and comparative overall damage output.
  • Don't get caught up in gameplay mechanics and what actual players might do in each encounter.
  • Don't neglect style, story, and scale. Everything is a factor; seeking balance is your goal as a spectator and judge.
Some additional rules:
  • There is an unlimited amount of beer and ale present in the arena.
  • None of said beer or ale is enchanted, haunted, Old-God-corrupted, or contained in any ancient barrels, flasks, casks, or other magic vessel.
  • Whoever passes out first loses.

In Corner One: Yorg Stormheart

Yorg Stormheart, also known as Muradin Bronzebeard, is perhaps one of the strongest, most resilient dwarves on Azeroth. You know his feats of strength: He killed a jormungar with a hammer to the face, he braved the harsh climes of Northrend after being left for dead by Arthas, and he rose to lead a group of dwarves that even he could learn more ferocity from. We haven't even mentioned his accolades and history before World of Warcraft, so the bottom line is that Muradin is one tough dwarf.

In this competition, however, toughness isn't as valued as tenacity. Drinking Brann under the table might be the most fearsome challenge the king of the Frostborn has ever faced. Will the time spent in the frozen north amongst his frozen cousins be enough to gird his stomach and liver for the onslaught about to occur? Can Muradin even go up against his brother, to potentially see the crushing defeat in Brann's eyes? Only you can decide.

In Corner Two: Brann Bronzebeard

Competition favorite and general crazy person Brann Bronzebeard never stops unleashing evil all over the place. He just won't stop opening up forgotten bastions of antiquity, delving into lost tombs, and unearthing some of the craziest Old God plots that the mortals of Azeroth have ever seen. Brann is bad news, ladies and gentlemen, and we constantly follow him to our ends.

Brann has won all of his matches thus far through the sheer chance and brashness that follows the luckiest dwarf on Azeroth wherever he can go. For dwarves, though, drinking is never about luck. No amount of arcane power, no cache of forgotten relics, and definitely no accidental outsmartings can match a dwarf's ability to drink nor will any of that happen on Muradin's watch. He's crafty just like his brother, and as a brother myself, I know from experience that you can pick out your sibling's bull crap a mile away. Don't even try it, Brann.

Will Azeroth's most prolific and dangerous (at least to me and you) explorer take the title as winner of the exhibition season of Two Bosses Enter? The choice is still yours, readers.

Last Week's Winner: Yorg Stormheart

Yorg Stormheart narrowly beat out Archmage Aethas Sunreaver in last week's matchup, only losing by just under 100 votes. Your vote counts, people! So far, Yorg has dispatched two mages in this tournament, defeating Tae'thelan Bloodwatcher in his first matchup and Aethas in his second. Yorg's current enemy is going to take a whole new set of skills and a different strategy in order to win, but let's first take a look and see how you guys thought that last week's match played out.

Phrdy50 made a mistake:
Whoops! I clicked the wrong button, I wanted to vote for Yorg not Aethas -_-
Rookie move, Phrdy50! What's up, man? You've got to be in this to win this. I'll forgive you this time, but you have to be on the ball here. This is serious.

Reader clundgren makes a fantastic point regarded Yorg/Muradin having to make everyone wait for his jabbering on and talking during key moments in the Icecrown Citadel raid when really all we wanted to do was bunch Deathbringer Saurfang in his loot bags for some trinkets. Quit talking, dwarf, and let's get to fighting! Heh, dwarves.
I'm not voting for Aethas because he's really Kael'Thas and totally outclasses Muradin.

I'm not voting for Aethas because mages hard counter warriors.

I'm not even voting Aethas because I feel bad for a guy who has to hide his perfect Belf hair behind an ugly iron mask.

No, I'm voting Aethas because he never made me wait through five minutes of RP that I've seen a million times before. There's something to be said for clickable quest text.
Well said, clundgren. However, since you are an Alliance player, you do not understand the full might, fury, and anger that comes with watching roleplay events before Deathbringer Saurfang. You see, the Horde version has all of the pertinent RP at the beginning of the fight, making for a huge wait before the battle began. We're on the same page, though, so we can still be friends.

Glyphstone gives the fight to Yorg based on his strength of will and ability to outlast Aethas, especially when you factor in that Yorg is probably super-resistant to Frostbolts and other ice attacks.
The Lich King couldn't kill Yorg, what chance does one measly Blood Elf mage have?

'The arena gates shut behind Aethas, facing down the indomitable dwarven king. A twist of arcane magic sends a tremendous fireball roaring down on Yorg before the dwarf can so much as settle his stance, knocking him flat on his back. Surely it couldn't be that easy?

Yorg climbs to his feet, though, beginning to trudge across the ring as Aethas pelts him with frostbolt after frostbolt. The ice missiles slow him, but they don't stop him - unnerved by his enemy's resilience, the mage freezes Yorg solid in a block of ice and teleports back to the other side of the room, clearing the range again. But before he can wind up for a second pyroblast, Yorg smashes his way free of the icy prison and lumbers towards Aethas again, frostbolts impacting on his barrel chest with less effect than they had before. A point-blank blast of blinding fire buys the blood elf time to teleport to safety again, and retreat backwards from the implacable dwarf while flinging arcane missiles, fire blasts, and shards of cutting ice, none of which seem to faze Yorg in the slightest.

It seems to go on for hours, Aethas trying every magical trick in his book and any others. Yorg took them all and kept on coming, till the mage was drained of his power, gasping and exhausted from the endless round-and-round retreating. "What does it take to kill you, dwarf?"

Yorg smiled through his heat blisters, burn marks, and coating of ice crystals. "More than you, elf. More than you." His skin turned dark as stone, and he abruptly grew in size to tower over the drained archmage. Aethas's second-to-last thought was noting how the dwarf's hammer was almost as big as Aethas himself now. His last thought was how it looked even bigger flying point-blank into one's face.'
While many of you guessed that the Bronzebeards would be matched up against each other, you also all guessed drinking contest, like my man (or lady) djsuursoo. Yes, if the Bronzebeards were going to fight in the last match, it was going to be a drinking contest from the start. Alex and I had a conversation about this early on. You guys are so predictable!
let's just face facts. we're headed for an epic battle of the bronzebeards.

the real thing to decide is, what form of battle will it be?

drinking contest? maybe for warm-ups.

poker? actually this might work.

monopoly? oh the comedic potential.

tiddlywinks? for some reason this works best as a manga, with lots of speed lines.
Now is the time, friends. Bronzebeard versus Bronzebeard. Dwarf versus dwarf. Iron stomach versus iron stomach. Which Bronzebeard takes the title as champion in the Two Bosses Enter exhibition season?

Set aside the world order -- let the WoW Insider Ring determine who's the champion! Your votes determine the outcome in WoW Insider's series of fantasy deathmatches, Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves.
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