As a tank, it's ultimately your responsibility to set the pace of the group. You're the one who has to pull, you're the one who has to mark and set CC targets, you're the one who has to move the boss around. I'd take it a step further and say that unless you've got an arrangement worked out with another person you know, you're the leader of the group.
When players are behaving badly, you'll likely be the first to notice. It's hard to miss a DPSer running ahead of you, just as it's hard to miss that DPSer who always is beating on the wrong target and pulling aggro. As the leader of the group, it's your responsibility to make sure the group runs smoothly. If people need to go, then they need to go.
Right now, I'm running in a tank/healer combo with a good friend of mine (along with another friend who's providing some DPS and CC as she can). One of us is tanking (he on his paladin, I on my warrior), and one of us is healing (he's got a shaman, and I've got a druid). Neither one of us sets the ground rules for the group at the beginning -- we expect that folks generally will know to wait for the tank and that people will CC when we ask them to. If they don't, then we politely say what needs to happen.
If they can't follow directions, we'll try again once or twice more. After that, usually the rest of the group has caught on and people are ready to kick the offending player. There have been many times, though, when I've asked a player to leave and they have, saving me the kick and associated penalties with the dungeon finder (which do stack up if you're chaining heroics for an entire day and have to kick a few people). If the player doesn't leave and continues to do bad stuff, then kick him. Group members are much more likely to follow your kick if you've tried everything and have been nice about it.
Finally, if all else fails, just leave the group. You can say something like, "Well, I've tried, but this group isn't working out. I can't tank with people not letting me get aggro. Good luck, guys." But in reality, that's just going to make you feel better (god only knows I've said that enough); if they're being jerks and not listening, you saying anything isn't going to make things better. That's why I just recommend dropping the group and re-queuing in the dungeon finder. Your queue is going to be more or less instant; they're the ones who are going to have to wait.
Personality and playstyle converge in the group -- if you don't enjoy playing with a group, you don't enjoy playing with them. Put up with some crap, but don't punish yourself, either.
Has anyone else noticed the woeful lack of chainmail wrist items in Cata? I have been sporting a 333 wrist from Grim Batol since my first run through there. Why can't they give us a justice point wrist option or a blacksmith recipe?
Many people have, yes; the same goes for leather healing bracers. I think it's a little bit of an oversight from the designers -- although let's be honest here, too: It's not a huge deal. Kits are not breaking, gear isn't becoming useless -- it's just not up to the 346 standard that we all want. I'd expect in patch 4.1 there to be some more bracers that drop from those dungeons for classes that need them. Epics will also become easier to obtain through raiding as time goes on, so the problem is lessened.
I'm still wearing my 333 bracers on my resto druid, and I'm healing heroics just fine. So on the list of problems, this is probably relatively low.
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