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ESRB releases first erotic novella: The Duke Nukem Forever Rating Summary

Justin McElroy

We don't normally do erotica reviews here at Joystiq, but we thought the ESRB's freshman effort at the genre, "The Duke Nukem Forever Ratings Summary," deserved our attention. Here are some of the hottest bits.
During the course of the game, players enter a strip-club level and view several topless dancers and receive lap dances. A couple of missions within this level require players to recover sex toys and pictures of topless women.
We've seen worse starts. Here the author isn't showing us the sex explictly, but rather setting the scene for sex. Very hot.
A few sequences strongly imply sexual acts: two women appear to perform fellatio on the central character (e.g., raising their heads from his lap)-though there is no actual depiction of the sex act.
This is fine, and we're defintely getting aroused, but where's the color? Where's the line that takes us inside what the characters are feeling?
Duke moans and leans up against the wall of a bathroom stall (furnished with a hole)-it is implied that a sex act (not depicted) occurs.
There we go. We can't wait to see where the author takes us next.
Bathroom humor includes the ability to urinate in toilets or urinals and/or pick up feces from toilets and throw it aga--
OK, you know what? This clearly isn't for us. ESRB, you're getting an "F." Good luck on your next story.

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