Alright, class -- class! Put away those chattering teeth, stink bombs and other adolescent hijinx-causing accessories. We have a new student today, and we all want you to show him the warmest welcome you're capable of conjuring. His name is "The 3DS," and while he's a great deal younger than the rest of you, and looks a little off, we still want you to -- Mr. PlayStation Portable! What are you doing? You put that spitball-firing apparatus away right this second, young man!
Fine, it's clear you hooligans are going to pick on the new kid no matter what your astute pedagogues tell you -- so maybe this warning will inspire some good behavior: If we added the rest of you up, we wouldn't equal a third of what the 3DS sold in its launch week. Maybe that little figure will keep you from playing a rowdy game of "break off the 3D adjustment slider" during recess, huh?