Razer to offer new MMO helper accessory

Whether you play World of Warcraft or [game that is not World of Warcraft], you just can't help running into the player who dies on every boss fight, even [wimpy boss]. Luckily, Razer has [adverb] thought to [verb] a new accessory, expected to release later this [time period]. Called the Razer [predatory animal], this new machine will provide up-to-the-[time interval] assistance to the most needy [animal] in your group.

After a player installs the [number] electrodes included with the device, it will helpfully offer such [plural noun] of wisdom such as "don't stand in the [color] pools" and "get out of the [chemical reaction]" and "you have [debuff], you should have read the article on [fan database]." In addition, each time the character [verbs], the device will [verb] a small electrical shock.

[Game designer] said that the device performs wonderfully in closed testing. "Players are always [verb ending in -ing] about [dungeon], but having a member hooked up to the Razer [predatory animal] should really help. If a player can't stop [verb ending in -ing] during prime time, at least you'll know he's in as much pain as you."

Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!