Emporia's RL1 does eschew pretty much everything that's not a phone call or text. The handset has a bright screen with adjustable text size and big buttons that light up when a call comes through, nice features for older users with vision and hearing problems. The phone comes with the above angular cradle and should give you about three hours of talk time on a charge. For those who want to get fancy with the thing, there's also a calculator, alarm clock, and a feature that'll help you remember birthdays -- the primary reason a lot of us use Facebook. The phone is available now for Vodafone's monthly and pay as you go plans. It runs £60 ($99) -- you didn't think straightforwardness like this comes cheap, did you? Press release after the break.