We're pretty sure someone out there is snapping up gaming laptops with spray-painted red dragons and speaker grilles that look like belt buckles, but we suspect plenty of you just crave something that isn't going to embarrass you at your next LAN party. Grown-ups, meet the ASUS G74, that buttoned-up fellow you see there. So far, we've found two configurations, both of which include a quad-core Core i7-2630QM CPU, NVIDIA GeForce GTX 560M graphics with 3GB of video memory, 12GB DDR3 RAM (out of 16GB), dual 750GB 7200RPM drives, a 1080p display, Blu-ray player, backlit keyboard, and a USB 3.0. socket (along with three of the 2.0 variety). That's what the G74SX-A1 ($1,745) looks like, and there's also a $1,979 version with a 3D display, dubbed the G74SX-3DE. That generally matches what the new $1,899 Qosmio X770 has to offer, though the G74 is the clear winner in the memory department and, well, you can't put a price on taste, right? Hit the source links to pre-order, and find some fancy press shots below that promise not to incinerate your eyeballs with tackiness.