Rumor Roundup: 'The best Apple analyst on the planet'

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Chris Rawson
November 18th, 2013
In this article: rumo, Rumor Roundup
Rumor Roundup: 'The best Apple analyst on the planet'
Rumor Roundup: 'The best Apple analyst on the planet'

I learned two things this week thanks to the rumor blogs. First, one unannounced and unverified Apple product can be "delayed" so Apple can focus on a completely different unannounced and unverified product. Second, I discovered who has taken the coveted title of "the best Apple analyst on the planet." Yes, apparently there is such a thing -- at least according to people who don't bother with fiddling small things like fact checking.

Alleged cuts to iPhone 5c orders cited as Apple supplier Pegatron's profits disappoint (AppleInsider)

From the article: "Two different major news organizations reporting on Pegatron's earnings on Monday both cited unnamed sources as saying that Apple has cut orders for the iPhone 5c."

Mmkay. But also from the article: "Last week, it was reported that Apple is actually adding new suppliers for both the iPhone 5c and iPad mini to boost production in 2014."

Okay, make up your mind. Which is it? Is the iPhone 5c a massive "disappointment" or not?

"Speculation about iPhone 5c sales is partially driven by the fact that Apple does not break down sales figures for specific models, citing competitive reasons."

So, basically, no one outside of Apple actually has the slightest clue how many iPhone 5c units the company has sold. But let's all speculate endlessly anyway, because pageviews.

CONFIRMED: Apple will launch completely redesigned 4.7-inch and 5.5-inch iPhones next year (BGR)

Although I already covered this rumor in last week's Roundup, I decided to include it here for BGR's decidedly unique, all-caps take on the story. Anyone who thinks a report sourced from Bloomberg "confirms" anything about Apple's future plans would do well to browse through the Daring Fireball archives from this week - John Gruber found several examples of Bloomberg fan fiction about supposedly forthcoming Apple products that failed to coalesce into reality.

Analyst: iTV plans put on hold for wearables debut in 2014 (9to5 Mac)

Kudos to 9to5 Mac for revealing the terrible provenance of this story right in the headline, thereby sparing the more seasoned and intelligent readers from bothering to click on it. Analysts don't know a damned thing about Apple's future plans.This particular analyst pulls off a truly spectacular whiff of a strikeout: he claims the Apple HDTV is delayed because Apple is focusing on launching the iWatch next year instead.

Just so we're clear, an Apple product that has never been confirmed to exist and that makes no sense for Apple to produce has apparently been delayed so Apple can focus on a completely different unconfirmed product which also makes no sense for them to build or sell. I'd say money can't buy you analysis like that, but unfortunately, apparently it can.

Apple to Begin A-Series Chip Production at GlobalFoundries Facility in New York (MacRumors)

A newspaper in upstate New York claims to have knowledge of a deal Apple has signed with a chip fabricator who operates a local foundry, according to "a source close to the company." I'm kind of getting the same vibe off this that I get off of "industry publication" news from "the Far East" - namely, that there's probably not much chance this will actually happen the way it's been reported.

Analyst Ming-Chi Kuo expects A7-based Apple TV in 2014, television set in 2015-2016 (9to5 Mac)

"Drop everything: Ming-Chi Kuo said some stuff about Apple." -Apple rumor blog editors

From the article: "Ever since hearing that Steve Jobs had 'cracked' the TV industry, Apple fans have been waiting for the day the company would release an actual television set."

It's a good thing autonomic reflexes eventually kick in, because otherwise you (and Gene Munster) would have suffocated long ago holding your breath for an Apple HDTV to appear in the market.

"Ming-Chi Kuo today noted that an updated Apple TV box running on Apple's new A7 processor is expected in 2014" - sounds reasonable to me - "with an actual television set to follow in 2015 or 2016" -- hahaha, not a chance. This is also a prime example of an analyst making claims that, even if they fail to pan out, won't hurt his "track record" because no one will remember by then.

"Gene Munster said today that he also believes we will see an Apple-created television set soon, though his estimate puts the release in 2014." Gene Munster says a lot of things. He's been saying them for years. Moving along...

"All of these developments seem to corroborate the idea that Apple is indeed working on a television set," 9to5 Mac claims. Really? Please speak to your nearest university's Latin professor and ask him what "non sequitur" means.

Report: Apple's iWatch will come in 1.3″ & 1.7″ models to accommodate men & women wrist sizes (9to5 Mac)

From the article: "DisplaySearch has a bit of a hit and miss track record when it comes to Apple product launches."

Mysteriously left out of the article: "But, pageviews, so here's a reprint of their latest vowel movement anyway."

As for the claim itself... this is the kind of article that makes me wish I had a pet bird, just so I could print it out and use it to line the bottom of its cage.

The best Apple analyst on the planet says Retina iPad mini will be impossible to find this holiday season (BGR)

BGR has a strange habit of using different headlines in its RSS feed compared to what shows up in its articles. In RSS, it laughably calls Ming-Chi Kuo "the best Apple analyst on the planet," while the actual article's headline ends up being a more typically doom-n-gloom affair that starts with "Bad news, Apple fans." *sad trombone*

"Ming-Chi Kuo [...] is likely the most reliable industry watcher on the planet when it comes to Apple," BGR opines. To that I will simply say, [citation needed]. My own review of his track record over the past several months showed him to have an accuracy level lower than random chance. If that's the "best Apple analyst on the planet," then it's no wonder the current state of the Apple rumor scene is so hilariously obtuse.

Apple Reportedly Set to Acquire Israeli 3D Body Sensing Firm PrimeSense (MacRumors)

Are you rumormongers absolutely sure about this story this time? Because you all got it wrong in July.

PrimeSense itself had only typical PR-speak to give in response to request for comments on the supposed deal -- with the exception of the last sentence, which I find to be brilliantly pithy:

"We do not comment on what any of our partners, customers or potential customers are doing and we do not relate to rumors or re-cycled rumors."

I don't know who wrote that, but I want to buy this person a beer.

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