"If you're an '80s guy like me, then you know it's important to be a shark. That means getting up, choking down a double espresso and listening to Huey Lewis. Then it's time to hit the trading floor and make a cool hundred mil or something before dinner. Lunch? Lunch is for wimps. Talking about wimps, those hipsters who use Native Union's Pop retro smartphone handset are scum. Me? I'm all about the Binatone Brick. Cram in a SIM card and you can make calls on this thing AND play Snake (I mean, we are living in the future) even while riding the elevator. But pair it over Bluetooth to your smartphone, and you'll impress everyone when you're walking and talking. It'll launch soon for you mere mortals, priced at £50 in the UK with a 1,000mAh battery, but for a big-shot like me who's always making deals, I'm holding out for the 2,000mAh version that'll come later for £80. Oh, and one more thing -- in the time it took you to read this, I just bought San Marino."
Mr. Gekko's views are entirely his own and do not reflect those of Engadget or AOL.