Welcome to Joystiq Weekly, a "too long; didn't read" of each week's biggest stories, reviews and original content. Each category's top story is introduced with a reactionary gif, because moving pictures aren't just for The Daily Prophet.Minecraft creator Markus "Notch" Persson isn't pocketing the entire sum from Microsoft's acquisition of Mojang, but something tells us he'll uh, be okay for a few years. Unless you're keen on buying small nations and playing a real-world game of Risk, it's tough to imagine spending your share of a massive buyout like that.
There was loads more to this week than business deals involving yacht-sized bags of money, though. There's hope for a playable taste of Final Fantasy 15 in 2015, reviews for Destiny, Hyrule Warriors, Theatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call, a full timeline of Minecraft's progress from day one and loads more, all awaiting you after the break!