Drama Mama Lisa: Let's get this out of the way right up front: If you only intended your guests to attend a limited number of flex raids with your guild, you should have told them so up front. And if you now feel strongly that's what should have happened, whether it didn't happen due to a lack of foresight or a lack of communication, you need to come clean about it now.
You ask if you're being "used" here. From one point of view, you could certainly say so -- however, you invited these players to join your raids with the full knowledge that they had no interest in leaving their current guild. They get something; you get something. Is it balanced? Maybe, maybe not. The question is, does it matter?
I think you're finding yourself in such a quandary about whether this is even an issue because you yourself are uncertain if you're somehow not being structured enough about things. Until now, you've played things fairly loose and easy. What's the value of your guild? You let these players join in without much thought, and now you're wondering what impact the decision really has. For you, sir, I've whipped up one of my patented Lists of Deciderer Questions.
- Does your guild have officers that share decision-making and administrative duties? If so, please include them in your thought and decision process.
- Is your guild racking up guild achievements toward a particular goal or contest, or are you still leveling the guild? Or is earning achievements a nicety at this point?
- Does regularly including players who don't contribute to those achievements set you back on your active achievement goals, or does it simply represent an activity that these players don't share with you?
- Has the lack of guild chat access with these two players created more than a passing inconvenience?
- Have any of your guild members expressed discomfort about regularly including these players?
- Have any of your guild members expressed interest in inviting these players to join the guild?
- Would you invite and accept these players if they were willing to leave their current guild and join yours?
- If these players stopped attending your guild's events, would you actively recruit and replace them with new guild members?
Once you've worked through the Deciderer list, I think you'll have managed to assuage any lingering doubts. Robin? How about a shot of realism?Drama Mama Robin:
I really don't look at this as your being used. You invited these two to join your guild runs with the idea that you were fine with filling a hole in their guild's activities. I don't think taking you up on your offer is using you, particularly since you don't seem to have given them a finite time frame during which they could join you. It also sounds like they are helping out on guild runs when you need extra people and they are good groupies overall. Both sides seem to be benefiting from this relationship.
That having been said, I would invite them to join your guild, citing the guild achievements as the main reason. They can still remain friends with their old guildies, after all. It doesn't sound like they'll make the move, but it won't hurt to try. If they decline, let them know that the door is always open.
I think you're overthinking the whole situation. Just go with the flow. Unless they are taking spots that guildies want to have -- and it doesn't sound like they are -- there is no harm done.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
Dodge the drama and become the player everyone wants in their group with advice from The Drama Mamas Drama-Buster Guide. Got a personal question for the Drama Mamas? Email Robin and Lisa at firstname.lastname@example.org.