You're trapped on an island, surrounded by giant, hungry crabs. Okay, actually, they aren't so much "giant" as "roughly terrier-sized," but that's still pretty impressive for a crab, and you'd better believe those pincers will sting like the dickens. You're running low on food, night is about to fall, and you can hear the menacing cacophony of thousands of tiny crustacean feet skittering toward your huddled form.
Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack.
You quickly rummage through your pack, searching for something, anything with which you might defend yourself. The only supplies you find are a broken wooden oar, a lighter, two cashews and a box of delicious Thin Mints. With only seconds remaining before those tiny terrors give you the pinching of a lifetime, you have to make a decision: What do you do?