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Rumor Roundup: Tie a ribbon cable 'round the old oak tree

iPhone 6 mockups are a 'rough approximation' according to report, claims antenna design will differ signifcantly (9to5 Mac)

An Asian publication cites "supply chain sources" who claim that the iPhone 6 mockups seen thus far aren't accurate representations of what will launch. This story just divided by zero: we have one traditionally unreliable source claiming that the "leaks" thus far are inaccurate. This is kind of like if Digitimes published a report claiming Ming-Chi Kuo's predictions weren't going to come to pass.

I don't know what to believe anymore. Up is down, green is red, and this story constitutes real news.

Report: iPhone 6 will use new display tech for thinner design, could cause yield issues (9to5 Mac)

Some Asian publication makes flimsily-sourced claims about possible components in a supposedly-forthcoming Apple device, and 9to5 Mac reblogs it as though it was reported by CNN.

Incidentally, an Asian publication reporting that component (x) will cause "yield issues" in Apple device (y) is about as far removed from revelatory news as you can get. We hear this same song and dance every. Single. Year.

First comparison photos of black and white 4.7-inch iPhone 6 screen glass [Gallery] (9to5 Mac)

All I can say about this is that if it's fake, it's an expensive-looking fake.

Apple to Launch Annual 'Back to School' Promotion Tomorrow (MacRumors)

From the article: "According to a source who spoke to MacRumors, Apple's 2014 Back to School promotion will be similar to the 2013 promotion, providing students with a $100 App Store gift card for the purchase of a new Mac or a $50 App Store gift card with the purchase of an iPad or iPhone." (emphasis added)

The actual Back to School promo is offering a $100 or $50 Apple Store gift card. Huge difference. So much for your source.

Rumor: Samsung lands orders to trial 14nm Apple 'A9' chips at New York fab (AppleInsider)

From the article: "The details come from Taiwanese tech industry publication DigiTimes, which has a questionable track record reporting on future Apple products." At least AppleInsider had the stones to note that Digitimes has a "questionable track record," but that still doesn't go far enough.

Let's play the analogy game: "Digitimes" is to "reliable source on Apple's product roadmap" as "severe, debilitating head injury" is to "Nobel Prize in Physics."

The iWatch's 'killer app' might surprise us all (BGR)

What's the "killer app" of this eternally mythical product according to the dipstick analyst that BGR breathlessly reblogs?

Voice messaging.

Not as in making phone calls from your wrist Dick Tracy style. More like sending brief voice snippets to other people via the Messages app, like the forthcoming iOS 8 feature shown off at WWDC.

That's the "killer app" of the iWatch, according to some analyst.

I am continually astonished that these people are paid real money for what they do.

HERE WE GO... New leak shows internal iPhone 6 parts for the first time! (BGR)

BGR has finally saved us from the neverending stream of iPhone 6 case mockups to give us what it does best (other than sensationalistic headlines and coma-inducing "analysis") - pictures of ribbon cables.

Yes, just like the parade of iPhone 5s ribbon cables in 2013, this year we're apparently meant to get all hot and bothered over pictures of contextually-deprived ribbon cables that look as though someone used a 2002-era flip-phone's camera to photograph them.

Are we really meant to get excited over these photographs? Or are we just being collectively trolled?