Rumor Roundup: Everybody pageview, er, I mean panic

Predictably, the later we get into the year, the fewer rumors there are to round up. It almost makes me long for the halcyon days of stupid mockups, moronic drivel from analysts, and thrice-daily tripe from Digitimes.

Almost.

Now that I think about it, what exactly do you suppose all those Apple analysts are doing around this time of year? What does an analyst do in the "off season" when there's no more digital manure to spread? My money is on "mountains of illicit substances," because that's the only thing that properly explains their state of mind the rest of the year.

This could be Apple's secret plan to rule the music industry with Beats Music (BGR)

Source: Some analyst

Chance it's true: None

Here's the major red flag I see from this guy's analysis of Apple's supposed plans for a Beats-based subscription service:

"Artists have access to information on their fans"

No. No no nope nope nooooooope no. Apple has used the fact that it doesn't hand over information about its users to third parties as a point of differentiation from its competitors. "We don't build a profile based on your email content or web browsing habits to sell to advertisers. We don't "monetize" the information you store on your iPhone or in iCloud. And we don't read your email or your messages to get information to market to you. Our software and services are designed to make our devices better. Plain and simple."

I can't speak to what Apple may eventually have planned for its $3 billion acquisition of Beats, but "handing over customer information to musicians and/or record companies" is gonna be preeeetty far down Apple's priority list.

Terrifying iOS 8 security flaw has forced the U.S. government to issue a warning (BGR)

This is less a rumor and more an example of the continued downward spiral of a tech publication that I once respected (though at this point I can't remember how long ago that might have been). BGR, in its continued quest to paint every minor stumble or setback as a major debacle for Apple, has in the headline of this article classified this as a "terrifying" security flaw, and the way BGR wrote the article made it sound like this was something that could affect your grandma's iPhone. Everybody pageview! Wait, panic. I meant panic.

Surprise: Apple says no one was actually affected by this "terrifying" security flaw. Meanwhile, in the time it took BGR to publish that alarmist nonsense, roughly 10,623 Windows users had their personal details hijacked... but that doesn't make headlines anymore.