"Good morning," opens the very tall man, who you now realize is the spitting image of a young John Cleese. "It's my duty to inform you, brave adventurer, that Grand Theft Auto 5 took the UK No. 1 this week. It's the third time it's re-taken the British top spot, but that's neither here or there, really. Sales of this week's top three were half of last week's. So, right now, topping the UK charts is a bit like winning a beauty pageant held in Mordor. Never mind, eh?"
You smile and nod, looking for the exit.
"Anyway," he says sternly... is he John Cleese? "You have a choice ahead of you, adventurer."
The very tall man points to a small arcade cabinet on your left. The screen, which appears to be made of paper and held up by someone inside the cabinet, simply says "Push a button."
To press the button with a picture of a tree on it, turn to page 17
To press the button with the Joystiq logo on it, turn to page 63
To press the button with a picture of a pig on it, turn to page 245605B
Top 10 UK Software Sales (All Formats): week ending January 10
- Grand Theft Auto 5
- Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
- FIFA 15
- Far Cry 4
- The Crew
- Assassin's Creed: Unity
- Minecraft: PlayStation Edition
- Minecraft: Xbox Edition
- Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor
[Image: Rockstar Games]