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Charter Internet Haiku - Please Love Me

Why?

Charter, you hurt me

Blackouts, back to the Stone Age

Why won't you love me

Now, don't get me wrong - I love Charter internet. It's fast, unaffected by weather, consistent, and has...well, decent customer service (let's be realistic here). Lately, however, I've encountered periods of dead internet service that I can attribute to one of two things: equipment failure or alien invasion.

Consider the state of affairs today. You wake up, you check your social media outlets, you observe the weather report. You boot up your MMO of choice or splice yourself into any of the various servers of note and take care of some morning exercises. Gotta get them Destiny Dailies done.

Shortly after checking the weather, however, your lifegiving wifi shuts its doors, cruelly cutting you off from cyberspace. What now? What light is there in life? Thankfully, mankind has survived for at LEAST several millenia without the comforts of a connected world. I suppose the next time my internet decides to abandon me for a more successful man, I'll pick up Nick Offerman's "Paddle Your Own Canoe" or sit down and try to formulate an outline for a novel.

Next time I find myself without the loving support of my significant other ISP, I'll be faced with a decision: excel or escape?