My Phone, My Precious: Releasing From Its Controlling Powers

It seems like the entire world has shifted to the online sphere – we don't say 'Call me', we 'Facebook', we don't dig out the encyclopedia for answers, we turn to the almighty Google. There are definite benefits of having access to so much information, just a few effortless seconds away. But, on the flip side, it can also be a completely controlling force in our lives – I hear my phone ding, and I can't stop myself from looking, no matter what is going on at that moment. I could be in the middle of a conversation in real life, but if I'm summoned by my all-powerful cell phone, the real life interaction takes a backseat to whatever may be beckoning. Like Pavlov's dogs, we can't help ourselves but drool and react to that cell phone ding.

This constant connection has also resulted in the expectation that we're always on call – try not responding to your messages for a day or two and see the reaction. Even when we've left the office for the day or the weekend, or while we're sitting on the beach on vacation, there seems to be no reason why we shouldn't always be available.

It can get overwhelming to the point where you just want to 'accidentally' leave your phone at the office over the weekend... but could you cut the cord? Would you actually be able to unplug yourself from the internet entirely? It does sound great, doesn't it? So liberating, so free, so... but what if someone needs to get a hold of me? I'll just give it a quick check... ok, nothing important.

There have definitely been times when I wanted to just quit it all – go cold turkey, cancel my phone plan, disconnect the internet, and just live in the present, real world. I mean, if I think back even 20 years ago, this constant online connection didn't exist, and I don't remember this feeling of always needing to know what was going on.

I didn't really notice what was happening until I had kids. Sitting down to read stories or play with them, I'd hear that phone and jump to answer it. The story was halted, and they would sit there patiently waiting... but, I came to realize that just because they weren't complaining about it, that didn't make it right. I thought about when I was on the receiving end of the 'hold on a second' treatment – when someone prioritizes a notification from their phone over what I've got to say, it's a little upsetting and offensive. I was doing this same thing to my kids, without even realizing it.

Quitting the internet seems so extreme, and I honestly don't think I'd survive – I mean, I know I'd 'survive', but I'd constantly be thinking about what I was missing. But I think I've reached a compromise that's do-able. I started setting out times when I'm offline – I leave my phone at home when I go for a walk or to the park. I have phone-free time each day, when the focus is my kids or even just me and doing something I love. What I've discovered is that I actually look forward to the short time I'm disconnected each day.

I don't think I'd ever be able to totally disconnect myself, but having that time each day lets me focus on real life at least for that moment. And, I've found that I have a greater appreciation for what's happening in my life as well as my cell phone... my precious.