Steve Parsons
Articles by Steve Parsons
Gaming and Gender
This seems to be becoming a popular subject lately. This time 1UP visits the topic of gender stereotypes in gaming. The article acts as a kind of potted history of women in games, and also details the good, as well as the bad portrayals of the fairer sex in this occasionally marvelous medium we call videogames. However, in the interests of equal opportunity, it also deals with the male stereotypes. And finally, for good measure, the media portrayal of games and gamers gets a kicking. Game Girl Advance also have a few things to say about the issue. Any article that sticks the boot in on the lamentable G4 gets my vote!
Morons release game
It's dubious that attention should be called to this, but then the only way to conquer hate speech and the idiots who preach it, is to call attention to it. As the article says, while politicians are busy wetting themselves over the crappy little sex game in GTA, games like this go unremarked, which really just goes to show that the politicians involved are utter fame whores, and not really interested in bettering society. You know, as if there was ever any doubt. The sickening cretins at Resistance Records, a group of sad individuals who promote the seperation of the "races" (though I'd gladly seperate them from the rest of us), have put out a game called Ethnic Cleansing. It's everything you can imagine it would be with a title like that. And people wonder why the planet is going to hell…
Burnout your PSP
Okay, so that title should read "burn out"—two words—but it doesn't work as well then. Everyone's favourite arcade racer (unless you're one of those Need for Speed loons!) is coming to a Sony handheld near you. Burnout Legends for the PSP packs all the automotive carnage we love into a pocket-sized package. The folks over at Eurogamer have snagged a trailer for you to feast your eyes upon. What with that, and with Revenge coming soon, Burnout fans are going to have to put their wallets on life support.
Next Gen GTA screenshot hoax
It started in France, as do so many things, like wine… Erm… The Tour De France… And it's done the rounds of the net. A screenshot, reportedly from the next gen Grand Theft Auto. Well, turns out it's a hoax. A fact confirmed by Rockstar themselves. They took a few minutes out of their schedule for upsetting Hilary Clinton to confirm that the shot is a fake.
More next gen arguments
Is this the most pitiful thing you've ever seen? Grown men involved in a (insert anatomical name of your choice here) waving contest over whose machine is the best? Geez, GROW UP GUYS! What are you? 12?! The big three are busy ripping into each other again, because after all, the next gen battle won't be won by how good the graphics are, or how good the gameplay is. No, it'll be won by "My console is better than your console" playground shenanigans. I'm fully expecting Sony and Nintendo to wait behind the bikesheds to beat Microsoft up after school. Is it any wonder gaming is frowned upon by the world at large, when we have jackasses like these in charge of the damn future of console gaming?
New WWE game announced
Must... Try... To Control... Excitement... Oh, wait, that was easy. Continuing the trend of putting out one average wrestling game after another, the "wrestling" (from some of their shows, you have to wonder...) behemoth that is WWE have announced yet another PS2 video game. Imaginatively titled Smackdown vs Raw 2006, the game will include, for the first time, stamina, adding more strategy and realism to the matches. No word on whether poor booking, ridiculously ill conceived plots, and wrestlers with talent being fired while untalented idiots keep their jobs will be part of the season mode. That would truly bring WWE videogame realism to a new level.
Got a Gamecube? No Godfather for you
See that picture? The man in the white shirt represents Electronic Arts. The poor sap on his way to the floor is representing all Nintendo. (The lady can represent whatever you damn well want.) You see, my poor abused Nintendo fans, if you're waiting for a game based on a thirty year old movie, you're going to be waiting an awfully long time. At least when it comes to The Godfather. Despite rumors that state the exact opposite which have been doing the rounds, there are currently no plans at all to release the game on any Nintendo system. Rumors that EA added "So there! HA!" at the end of the statement could not be confirmed at this time.
In Bed with Sharapova and Federer
2K Sports have signed up some big names to front their upcoming tennis game, Top Spin. Roger Federer, the number one mens tennis player, as well as current Wimbledon champ, is signed up to pimp the game. Also signed up is the lovely Maria Sharapova, whose image alone would probably shift some units. Both players have been signed up for the cover of the game, as well as to be the games spokespersons.
Diablo the greatest game of all time?
Diablo, released in the heady days of 1996, is Gamespot's latest choice for Greatest Game Ever. While it's fair to say that Diablo jump started the action RPG genre, the fact is, it took the basic gameplay elements of something like Nethack, and shoved a shiny graphics engine on it. This is no bad thing, but Nethack was busily creating random dungeons long before Diablo was a twinkle in it's developers eye, so some folk may want to check out what was arguably the precursor, so long as they don't go in expecting all sorts of eye candy. Diablo is definitely a classic game. The first of it's kind really, and still one of the best. There's a reason it's still Gamespot's highest ever rated PC title.
PES5/WE9 info
You can take your Fifa Soccer, shove it in a box, and bury it on a dark hillside somewhere, because you won't be needing it. Winning Eleven rules all. Or Pro Evolution Soccer as it's known in Europe. Having recently gotten ridiculously hooked on the last Japanese iteration of Winning Eleven (for which there is a translation patch you can download), it is with no small amount of glee we can take a peek at Winning Eleven 9, which is due out for our Japanese friends next month. If you've only ever played the Fifa series, you've been missing out on what is easily the best soccer game out there, especially given EA's recent efforts.
PGR3 framerate issues?
Recently there was the story of how Project Gotham Racing 3 just looked too damn good, and folk assumed the pictures weren't real. The developer then went out of their way to say "Honestly, they are, and here's proof!" Well, yet more controversy, if that's the right word. (It's seems a little overblown.) Apparently the developer won't confirm that the game will run at 60 frames per second. The argument being they'd look pretty stupid if they confirmed it was 60fps, and then a glitch forced them to release a game that ran at 30fps. So don't expect to know what sort of speed PGR3 runs at until pretty close to it's release. Is this the price that may be paid for those exceptional visuals that are supposedly real?
Delicious House of the Dead 4 screenshots
To satisfy those with a walking dead festish, here's some House of the Dead 4 eye candy, and dang, is it ever tasty, like fresh meat. The first thing that struck me was the water in the opening screenshot. Just looking at the screenshot makes you feel damp and cold. The other shots are almost as impressive. These are from the arcade version it would appear, however the rumour seems to be that said machine is running Xbox 360 hardware, so you could very well feel this damp and cold in your own home. Spooky!
How To Make A Game
Black and White 2 is still coming. The train still rumbles on, drawing ever closer to the final stop. God that's quite possibly the worst metaphor ever. If you want some insight into what those crazy mofos at Lionhead are up too, you could do worse than check out their making of section on their website, where you can get some insight into the development of the hotly anticipated sequel to Black and White. Read how they polish the 3D engine. Marvel at how they produce trees. Marvel at how they'll probably leave the AI until last, having to rush it in the last three days of development. (Sorry, my cynicism overwhelmed me for a second.) Yes, it's all here, and all yours, for the bargain price of a singular mouse click. (Or two, if you actually want to leave the site when you're done.)
New Burnout Revenge eye candy
Two months to go. Well, sort of. September 20th is when Burnout Revenge is due out, at least in the US market. Other regions have vague release dates like Fall. Some pretty pictures for you to drool over. Possibly pre-rendered, but vehicular carnage never gets old, and the fact is a lot of people bitched about GT4 screenshots being pre-rendered, when a lot of them weren't. Of course, Burnout isn't GT4. Real or not, there is almost no question that, on the current generation of consoles, Revenge is going to be the best arcade racer of the year. Bring on the Vertical Takedowns! (Note: On re-examination, if those are genuine PS2 shots, I'll eat the box my Command and Conquer Collection came in.)
Silent Hill movie photos
Some stills from the set of the upcoming movie adaptation of Silent Hill. Mercifully, a certain movie director, who has ruined several other video game movie franchises, doesn't have his untalented mitts on this one, so we can expect more than the usual load of old Boll'ocks we've come to expect lately. Nothing really earth shattering, but some nice production design is evident. Probably the biggest name attached to the project is Sean Bean, who is best known for being used for Uruk Hai target practice in Fellowship of the Ring, and yet still managed to appear in the sequels. The movie is due out next year. By which time Uwe Boll will probably have churned out another seven awful movies.
How Id lost their crown
Somebody has not been taking their happy pills. Here's a good look at the 3D shooter industry, and how Id used to be kings of the castle, but these days, are just another player. It's make some interesting observations on Doom 3, which I have no doubt will generate heaps of hatemail from Id fanboys. In it's own special way, this article brings up the classic graphics over gameplay issue. Once Doom 3 had created such wonderful visuals, there wasn't much left to create the bad guys. Remember the rooms full of monsters in Doom? I remember stumbling into rooms with 20 or more bad guys ready to eat me. Those were the days…
TT Superbikes hands on
For car racers, it's the Nurburgring. For bike racers, it's the Isle of Man course. The absolute top course to race around. Until this year, the full 37 mile Isle of Man course had never been modelled in a video game. It had either been condensed (the Jim Pearson made version for Grand Prix Legends), or done in parts. (Several bike games.) Now, for those among us who know the classic circuit, we'll get our chance to thunder around it, without the looming spectre of death at every turn. (Four people were killed at this years TT races, including a marshall.) While the US is largely indifferent to anything that turns right (damn heathens, and I say that as a NASCAR fan), amazingly, TT Superbikes is coming to the US. No release date as yet (it's been out since April in Europe), but the mere fact it's coming in the US has me giggling like a schoolgirl.
We Love Katamari screenshots
As in screenshots of the sequel, not the fact that we just happen to love screenshots of the game. It's always tricky to pick a genre to stick Katamari stories in. I mean technically, it's a puzzle game, but it can get pretty frantic, lending itself to action. It involves balls, which could make it a sports title. (HAHA!) Regardless, GamePro have some eye candy for you to amuse yourselves with until we get a release this side of the Pacific.
NCAA Football movies
If you're a gamer, and into college football, you must be about ready to explode with glee all over NCAA Football 06 from EA Sports. Remember, EA are your friends, and have the exclusive license to bring you the schools, the players, and anything else associated with NCAA football. Team Xbox have a couple of movies to watch. No real revelations. However, if you're eagerly awaiting the title, this should keep you moist with tingly anticipation.
It's all so viewtiful
Viewtiful Joe is back. Viewtiful Joe VFX Battle was the original title in Japan, however, that's changed to Viewtiful Joe Battle Carnival now. Just to make things complicated and keep us all on our toes, while the name is changed in Japan, it will maintain the original name when it's released here in November. Still with us? Good. The title is also in development for the PSP. You can also expect a dose of Joe on the DS on these shores, around October, to warm those cold winter nights. Am I the only person on Earth who didn't like Viewtiful Joe? Probably…