Kaes Delgrego

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Stories By Kaes Delgrego

  • Bury the Shovelware: Jake Hunter Detective Chronicles

    Pedigree Well, we've found one of the weirdest game company names in existence: Aksys Games. It's right up there with "Infogrames" and "Camerica." I was surprised to learn that they're not as obscure as their name would lead one to imagine: they're the folks behind the Guilty Gear series. Jake Hunter was developed by Arc System Works, which is a large Japanese developer and publisher who publishes overseas via Aksys Games. That'll be something I've gotta keep an eye on in the future: the same-developer-same-publisher factor. I'd probably have to talk to a few people who work for a development team or a publisher to learn more about that one. Any such folks reading this who'd like to help me out? Come on, I know you're out there. The Critics Said ... IGN was quick to note that this is a Phoenix Wright-inspired adventure, but also added that "Jake is a stereotype, and the stories are straight forward, humorless affairs." Game Informer followed suit, stating that the game "takes itself way too seriously." So ... the game is being criticized for not being closer to what inspired it? This leaves me a bit befuddled. If Jake Hunter copied Phoenix Wright to a T, it would be criticized for not being original. But when it decides to take a serious approach (as opposed to PW's humorous presentation), it's criticized for not being enough like the original. Poor Jake Hunter can't do anything right. Criticism of critics aside, the two reviews were basically on-par with their peers: the game holds a 47% aggregate score at Metacritic.

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  • Top 5: Jury's Still Out

    In this little hobby of ours, there are undeniable classics. Only an utterly clueless fanboy will ignore Shigeru Miyamoto's contributions to gaming, and any Nintendo enthusiast can never deny the quality of a series like Halo or God of War. No matter the platform, there are games which make up the foundation of this medium as we've come to know it. Traditionally, the formula would seem to be game made by a respectable company + a few years to let it sink in = indisputable classic. Yet there are a few that still provoke debate. These are games that are neither universally adored nor hated. They almost always spark conversation, and are considered by some to be an acquired taste. Here are the Top 5 games that we all can't decide if they're classics or not. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • Bury the Shovelware: Cesar Millan's Dog Whisperer

    You know, I usually have a fairly decent idea of where most of these shovelware titles are going. That's not to say that I haven't been disappointed or pleasantly surprised before, but judging a book by its cover is often appropriate with shovelware. Yet I honestly have no clue what this game will have me do. Is it a Nintendogs clone? Will I be tapping dogs on the neck in a tap-happy minigame? Will I have to make that "tchsszzt" noise into the DS's microphone? Let's find out. Pedigree One word: UBISOFT. That's correct; the "not-a-bad-company-per-se-but-still-known-for-creating-copious-amounts-of-shovelware" gaming bigwig both developed and published this title.

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  • Top 5: Worst. Cutscenes. Ever.

    var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/nintendo/Top_5_Worst_Cutscenes_Ever'; According to Activision (and after all, they made Pitfall!), video games will "eclipse" all other forms of media. Head honcho Mike Griffith went on to say that "Movies, recorded music and TV - these are all stagnating or contracting entertainment sectors." I'm not sure how much I agree with that statement. Strictly in terms of cash flow, it's already happening. Gaming is a fairly pricey hobby, and it's been outpacing the other forms of media for several years (in terms of growth). Yet I have a difficult time imagining a time where video games are everyone's preferred form of escapism. Although their respective industries may see drastic changes with direct, indirect, or unrelated connections to gaming, music and film will always have a place. As much as I love gaming, it's not rare that I find myself preferring to zone out with TV or just listen to music and read instead of playing a video game. What I do see is a further merging of the three into ubiquitous, all-purpose media devices. Microsoft and Sony currently do this, and it's only a matter of time before Nintendo catches up. While most households currently don't rely on gaming consoles as their sole provider of film / TV and music, I imagine that this will change. Perhaps the mediums will start to bleed into one another. With Metal Gear Solid blurring the lines between game and film and Audiosurf doing the same for games and music, perhaps media will merge and propagate a completely new and unique form of entertainment. Interesting stuff. What was this Top 5 about, again? Oh, right: cut scenes. A lot of them stink. Here's the 5 worst ones. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • Bury the Shovelware: 2008 in Review

    We're barely one week into 2009 and I'm already prepared to make a judgment about the current year: I don't like it one bit. With that in mind, I've decided to take a nostalgic look back to an easier, care-free time: 2008. Our study began on the 2nd of July with a look at the laughably terrible Homie Rollerz. It will continue indefinitely (in other words, until my overlords decide to give me the axe), or until we can come to a concrete and atomic definition of "shovelware." That's not to say that we've been woolgathering this past half-year. Indeed, we've learned quite a bit about what constitutes shovelware and what doesn't. Here's a handful of our most acute observations:

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  • Top 5: Resolutions for Nintendo

    After being MIA last week, it's nice to be back. I hope you were able to get your fill of inflammatory statements and grammatical errors from another blogger. And most importantly, I'm glad you're back. While I was away with loved ones, I did like many other of my countrymen and did not hold back on food and drink. Though I try to watch what I eat, the lure of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies and egg nog were a siren's song I could not ignore. And when I make my way to the gym tonight for my semi-daily swim, I know that it will be infested with the dreaded "January Joiners." This is a term which refers to the large influx of people attending the gym in the early part of the year in a futile attempt to fulfill their weight-loss resolutions. Although maneuvering around the larger number of bodies is an inconvenience, I have no ill feelings towards this people. In fact, I wish that they'd stay all year. Sadly, I know better: they'll be gone before February. So if you've made resolutions, try your best to stick with them. Whether fitness-related or not, setting goals is a great way to improve our lives. Write notes on a calendar, set Google alerts to remind you of goals, and keep your eye on the prize. While your resolutions will best be decided by yourself, we can all agree on a few for Nintendo. Here's the Top 5 resolutions that the Big N should set for themselves. Unlike the January Joiners, let's hope these goals aren't abandoned by Valentine's Day. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • Bury the Shovelware: Elf Bowling 1 & 2

    It's Christmas Eve, and Santa has come a little early. But apparently we've all been very terrible, for there exists a gift far worse than coal. In fact, coal seems downright awesome compared to this. After all, it's flammable. I am being utterly sincere when I say that I would much rather play Cake Mania 2 than this pile of reindeer droppings. Pedigree Elf Bowling 1 & 2 shares the same developer and publisher: Ignition Entertainment. A quick scan of their products page shows a great diversity in games. Notably but understandably missing is this game. It's difficult to comprehend the fact that the same resources which gave us the excellent and underrated Mercury Meltdown Revolution are also responsible for Elf Bowling 1 & 2. The company also published Metal Slug 7 in North America. The Critics Said ... Metacritic is a great tool to use when I determine the critics' reception of a game for this series. I've referenced the bottom of the list before. According to the "Index of Nintendo DS Game Reviews by Score" page, the worst-received game for the DS is Deal or No Deal with a metascore of 17. Yet Elf Bowling for the DS manages to do that 5 points better -- err, worse -- with a metascore of 12. Why it doesn't appear on the list is because it only contains four reviews and five are needed to appear on the grand tally. The four critics that did review Elf Bowling (the poor, poor souls) are all fairly consistent in stating that this game is the suck.

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  • Top 5: Christmastime in Gaming

    Ahh, Christmastime. Every year, we look forward to cherished traditions such as fighting traffic, stressing out over finding gifts, and even the occasional Black Friday trampling. Yet one would be surprised to learn that December 25th has a history which shares very little with frivolous lawsuits and Bill O'Reilly frothing at the mouth. Indeed, aside from its litigatious and hostile depiction on the news, Christmas is largely an excuse to shower our loved ones with food, presents, and joy. It's also an easy inspiration for a stressed columnist trying to finish his Christmas shopping to create a Top 5 list. As such examples of religious-based holidays are rare in gaming, this list will not be Nintendo-specific. For those who celebrate the date, I wish you a Merry Christmas. For those who don't, I wish you well just the same. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • Bury the Shovelware: Bratz Ponyz 2

    After a few controversial picks, I've decided to take the edge off and pick on an easy target. After all, doesn't picking on the weak make us all feel a little better? So don't worry about today: we've got not one but TWO S's replaced with Z's! Pedigree Instead of talking about the developer and publisher, let's just take a long look at the title. It's in three parts. First: "Bratz," a franchise which has been criticized locally for allegedly attempting to sell sex to children. Abroad, things are even worse: "On December 21, 2006, the National Labor Committee announced that the factory workers in China, who make Bratz dolls, labor for 94.5 hours a week, while the factory pays only $0.515 an hour, $4.13 a day. The per doll amount is $0.17, much less than the Bratz dolls actually cost (from $20 to $40)." (Wikipedia). And most important of all, let's not forget the last letter of the first word, a disgusting trait also shared with the second word: "Ponyz." When did the letter "S" become uncool? Did he totally say ohmigod and she was all like "right?" Or did Z suddenly become incredibly popular? Did Z come skateboarding through space while wearing sunglasses and playing a hot pink electric guitar? That's still cool, right? Finally, we have the number 2 ... as if there were so many unanswered questions at the end of Bratz Ponyz 1.

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  • Top 5: Licensed Games That Don't Stink

    Apparently, happy is the new angry (Uggh, I apologize; I hate the "X is the new Y" phrase as much as anyone). While the Angry Video Game Nerd series continues to grow in popularity, a legion of imitators -- err, "inspirées" -- have arisen from the depths of YouTube. While most appear to simply swap "Angry Video Game Nerd" with a few synonyms and reduce the effort, quality, and obtainable entertainment of the video, one manages to make the formula something completely his own. Alaskan native Derek, AKA lophatjello, has created the "Happy Video Game Nerd." While the self-explanatory premise may sound eye-roll-inducing, one would be hard-pressed to ignore his passion for the retro games he highlights after watching a video of his. And that is a quality which I value greatly: unbridled passion and optimism for gaming. We're too often deluged by a flood of pessimism and jaded cynicism from the gaming world. Very recently, Derek covered the NES semi-classic Ducktales. He labels it as a "kick-ass licensed game." This is a notable statement, as conventional gaming knowledge tells us that a license is often indicative of a terrible game. While there are always exceptions to rules, I feel confident that most who are reading this post can agree that licenses are too often a kiss of death. Yet the HVGN is correct; Ducktales is a pretty awesome licensed game. Here, in my humble opinion, are the Top 5 games based on popular film and television. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • Bury the Shovelware: Clubhouse Games

    For this edition of Bury the Shovelware, we're going to do something a little different. We're going to take a brief stroll through shovelware history and then see how its historical definition relates to one of the DS's most successful titles. A Brief History of Shovelware We've learned quite a bit on our journey to discover what exactly constitutes shovelware. From publisher responsibility to the affects of critical perception, we've covered much ground. One reoccurring issue that we see is the misconception about the word "shovelware" being synonymous with "bad game." In the seemingly unending supply of phrases representing software distinctions, the term shovelware originally had a very specific meaning. It was used to refer to a large amount of games being ported to a single physical media source, usually with the advent of a new format which could hold many times the amount of its predecessors. Let's imagine a game that fits onto a single floppy disk. Since a single CD can hold several hundred times the amount of data that a single floppy disk can, some companies would attempt to make money by consolidating many of these games onto a CD. One might wonder how these collections came to be universally associated with crap games.

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  • Top 5: Nintendo's Worst

    var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/nintendo/Top_5_Nintendo_s_Worst'; 15 days ago, Guns N' Roses released their comically delayed album Chinese Democracy, giving hope to those who are still awaiting Duke Nukem Forever. Unfortunately, anyone looking for another Appetite for Destruction will be disappointed, as the new album's overcoming of its absurd delay overshadowed the album itself. One should question the album's association to the same band of twenty years ago, as Velvet Revolver contains more members of that legendary set. A more accurate title would be "Axl Rose solo project with some Buckethead." After hearing the album, I can confirm that it deserves a hearty "meh." If you truly consider this to be a Guns N' Roses album (which I'm not so sure that I do), it's undoubtedly their worst. This got me thinking about the bottom rungs of other quality serial productions. Being the nerd that I am, it didn't take long for thoughts to drift towards gaming. We're all aware that it's a bit redundant to bash Nintendo as a company. But one aspect of the Big N which is almost never called into question is the quality of their games. Certainly there's always a few outliers which stray from conventional feelings just for disarray's sake, and good for them. Yet one would have to be certifiably bonkers to label anything from the main Zelda or Mario series as a truly terrible game. But like anyone who hasn't sold their soul to the devil, there's bound to be a few slip-ups. When you're talking about a history as enormous to gaming as Nintendo's, it'd be suspicious if there wasn't a blotch here or there. These aren't quite at the top of the "worst games of all time" list, but they'd certainly be if the list was Nintendo-exclusive. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • Bury the Shovelware: Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

    After a controversial piece last week, followed by a stressful and virus-contracting holiday weekend, I decided to take things easy this week and go for an easy target. As you can assume, my expectations for this title aren't that high. In fact, I've really only one question: is this game worse than Deal or No Deal. As I popped the game into my DS, I notice something interesting. I asked for "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader," but it looks like they sent me "Are You Smarter than a 10 Year Old," which is the British version of the American game show. I guess whoever was responsible for this is not smarter than a 5th grader ... (punches self). At least I won't have to deal with sub-par humor.

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  • 4. Mario Kart: Lightning

    Shrinking racers since 1992, the lightning bolt is one of the most powerful weapons in all of Mario Kart. It's truly an unbiased punisher, rendering all but its user into miniature and flatten-able targets. I've often compared Nintendo-made multiplayer games to socio-economic classes, and Mario Kart is no exception. In this case, at the top lies either a single player way ahead of the pack, or a small group constantly trading the top spot amongst one another as the result of random item acquirement or blowback from the lower classes. In the middle lies most of the racers, struggling and battling fiercely amongst each other with the goal of achieving first place. In reality, they can only be the leader of their own group. Once in awhile a single racer by chance manages to find his or her way into the top tier, which only serves as motivation for the other middle-classers to continue struggling against one another. And at the bottom lies the proletariat; a group destined to round out the bottom. While the lightening bolt item will certainly cause dismay in a tightly-woven group, a clear frontrunner will usually not lose first place because of it. Indeed, it seems that no item from the lower classes can ever consistently dethrone those at the top ... with one exception. It is perhaps the greatest move that can occur in any video game. On an extremely long jump (think jumping over the steam boat in Mario Kart 64), you manage to fire off the lightning bolt right as the first place person is in mid-air. The shrink will cause them to lose all momentum in mid-air, sending them to the ground below and surrendering first place to whoever is next in line. It's truly a beautiful moment. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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  • 1. Kid Icarus: Eggplant'd

    Kid Icarus is a notoriously difficult NES classic. In typical old-school fashion, the game is relentless in challenge and unforgiving with mistakes. What's the most frustrating thing you'll encounter in this game, you ask? Is it the vertical-scroll pit deaths? The eternal re-spawning of enemies? The over-priced power-ups? While these are all certainly frustrating, the worst thing to happen to our friend Pit occurs in the dungeon levels. After encountering the dreaded Eggplant Wizard, I'm almost guaranteed to leave the room having had my torso replaced by the dark purple vegetable. When this happens, Pit is reduced to nothing more than a walking life drain, as he has lost his ability to use any weapons. The only cure is to find the nurse who can remove it. But there's only one of these in the entire dungeon, and the nurse's room might be located on the other side of the entire level. Thus, you're often forced to traipse across many rooms, usually taking great abuse along the way. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT

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  • Top 5: Infections

    After visiting friends and relatives this Thanksgiving, I was left with something special inside. Was it fond memories? Was it a deeper connection with those who I love? Was it several containers of leftovers? Sure, I received a fair share of those, but the most significant thing I received this Thanksgiving was the flu. I should have known. At least five different folks I saw over the course of the day claimed to be recovering from some form of the dreaded virus. Sure enough, by Friday evening I was sweating and freezing at once, aching all over, and debating on which end to point at the toilet (too much?). Whenever I get sick, I tend to feel very isolated. While everyone else was out enjoying their four-day weekend, I was tethered to the bed. But it didn't take long for me to realize that I'm certainly not alone. Everyone gets sick sooner or later, and no one is truly immune. In fact, even our video game counterparts have their fair share of sicknesses that affect their goals. And thankfully, just like said counterparts, the infections are usually brief. Here's our Top 5 sicknesses to avoid. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • 5. Castlevania: Poison

    We've all seen this one before. What started in Symphony of the Night has continued throughout most subsequent Castlevania titles: coming into contact with certain enemies will cause specific status ailments. Being poisoned will slowly but steadily drain your health for a set amount of time. While the bloated health meters of recent Castlevanias make it almost a non-issue, it eventually becomes noticeable when you find that you're suddenly winding down to your last sliver of health. There's nothing more embarassing in Castlevania than to survive an onslaught of vicious enemies only to be done in by poison. The only way to stop the hemorrhage is by using an antidote. While this small facet of the Castlevania universe won't drastically alter one's feelings towards the series, it's certainly a nice touch. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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  • 3. Bomberman: Skull

    A fairly consistent trait of the Bomberman series, the Skull item card is a mixed bag of almost certain bad possibilities. After touching it, you're given one of a handful of conditions. Sure, there's a max speed and a max bomb blast radius to be had, but you're more than likely not going to be happy with what you receive. There's the painfully slow movement speed, where you're basically asking to be cornered and blasted. There's the bomb impotence, which makes you unable to drop bombs and puts you on the defense. And my personal favorite is what my friends and I have dubbed "bomb incontinence": you simply drop bombs at random without any control whatsoever. Try forming any sound strategy out of that! And like many infections, the sickness is communicable. Don't like your current status? Simply touch a fellow bomber and you're free ... that is, if there's any around. Certainly any bomberman worth their weight would avoid you like the plague, which makes sense considering you're all infected-like. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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  • 2. Yoshi's Island: Fuzzy

    "What drugs were they on when they made this game?" I've heard people state this many times before about various Nintendo games. While most Nintendo projects have an air of innocence, there's apparently a very fine line in perception between child-like fantasy and wild drug trip. These questions date all the way back to Mario's first grand adventure, when he devoured mushrooms and "got big." Indeed, it must take a lot of ... "imagination" ... to start with an overweight Italian plumber and end up with this. You can't blame Mario for his pre-disposition to drug abuse; he's been around it his entire life. Before he was even delivered to his parents, he had a run-in with a mind-altering substance. His temporary care-taker was addicted to what was known on the streets as "fuzzy." Yes, Yoshi's Island players, let's admit our addiction: whenever playing level 1-7, we always seem to "accidentally" bump into the fuzzys. File this under "I know I shouldn't but I really want to." #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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  • Wii Fanboy interviews The Angry Video Game Nerd

    Most viral video stars tend to fade away fairly quickly. The Afro Ninja is likely waiting tables, "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" reached its peak with a mention on Family Guy, and let's pray to God that we've seen the last of Chris Crocker (I'm ashamed to even know his name). Yet one Internet favorite has managed to grow exponentially in popularity and success since his first video debuted four years ago. What started as a simple decimation of Castlevania 2 on a VHS tape for friends has grown into one of the most recognizable features in the Internet gaming culture. James Rolfe, better known as the Angry Video Game Nerd, is a New Jersey native who has entertained web viewers for the past four years with eviscerations of awful games. Every two weeks, he produces a new admonishment of an old-school abomination for ScrewAttack. What you might not know is that he's an aspiring filmmaker with a passion for the medium unrivaled by most directors with astronomically larger budgets. His hard work hasn't gone unnoticed, as the MTV-owned GameTrailers.com now sponsors his AVGN videos and Spike TV has commissioned him to produce non-AVGN related content. Wii Fanboy recently tracked the man down during production of his latest video, a scathing look at the Philips CD-i. We discussed gaming old and new, the AVGN character, and his independent film studio known as Cinemassacre. Find out more about the man behind the glasses and Rolling Rock after the jump.

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  • Wii Fanboy interviews The Angry Video Game Nerd (part 2)

    The AVGN: How often do you get recognized at non-gaming events? What are your fans usually like? I get recognized moderately in public. It always comes unexpected, but at a gaming convention, it's guaranteed to happen all day. The fans are usually very nice. What's the strangest / creepiest interaction you've ever had with a fan? Nothing that interesting. James Rolfe seems to be a pretty laid-back person, whereas the Angry Video Game Nerd is known for acerbic rants and shouting obscenities. Are fans that you meet ever disappointed to discover the difference? Do you ever feel put on the spot to start acting like the AVGN? People are often surprised. I haven't ever felt forced to be AVGN in public. I tried one interview in the past, in character, but it's not easy without a game in front of me. In a casual interview or meeting with a fan, I can't see how someone can expect me to be that way in real life. It's funny. Let's say that MTV, SpikeTV, or some other large company offers you a life contract to continuously create AVGN videos. Would you accept, and perhaps stay a few generations behind the current and continue doing "retro" reviews, or do you think that the AVGN has an eventual expiration date? I see no expiration date, but I also need a break sometime. There are many videos online that are very similar to yours. Some try to do a parody, while others are nearly identical. How do you usually feel about such videos? Approval? Contempt? Indifference? I haven't seen a whole lot, but generally, if someone's doing it in my style and is an obvious parody or tribute, I feel flattered. Cinemassacre / Films: If you were able to successfully be an independent film maker, would you continue to do so or would you instead actively pursue working with a major studio? What are the benefits of independent film-making? It's all about creative control. That's why Cinemassacre is independent. If there was a project that could only be done on a monster budget, or if it was a franchise (sequel/remake) that I believed in, I would go with the studio. Let's say you're given a huge break and one of the major film studios offers you the chance to direct the next installment or a remake of a major Hollywood film franchise. Which would be your dream to direct? Oh wow, one answer just rolled into the next question. I always dreamed of writing/directing a Universal Studios monster movie, whether it be a spoof or a very outdated followup to the 1930's/40's films starring Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, and the Wolf Man. I watched the Cinemassacre 200 film. Film-making is clearly a huge desire of yours. Are you ever afraid of being boxed in and labeled as the AVGN? I see the effects it takes, that the majority of internet audience see the Nerd at face value, but it's also gotten a lot of attention to my past work, so it's done no harm. Many of the videos on your website are retrospectives of movies produced in either the 50s or the 80s. What, in your opinion, was the true "golden age" of film-making in America, and how does the current state of film-making compare? It's hard to say, but I feel the true golden age is between the 20's and 40's. There was no television, the only way to see a movie was to leave your house. The movies of that era have a timeless quality, the fact that they prevailed through the Great Depression and World War II, makes those movies seem more magical to me. They were about escapism. As someone who is very familiar with video games and movies, you're likely aware of the atrocities of most video game to film adaptations. Why do you think so many fail, and is there any hope for a good conversion? What game(s) do you think could work? Movies based on games... I gave up on that a while ago, so to be honest, I haven't kept up with most of the recent ones. I remember going to see Super Mario Brothers: The Movie, and it wasn't anything like the game. Street Fighter and Double Dragon were also ridiculous. But the one that satisfied me was the Mortal Kombat movie, because it had a lot of fighting and it was actually reminiscent of the game, rather than completely straying from the source material. Nowadays, it seems it's all Resident Evil and Tomb Raider, games made after the golden age of gaming, for me personally. I always wanted to see a Zelda movie made in the same style as Willow or Clash of the Titans. I also wanted to see a Metroid movie done in the style of Aliens. But honestly, now it's too late. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT

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  • Bury the Shovelware: Metal Slug 7

    After seeing the ho-hum critical response to Metal Slug 7, I decided to give the title a look in the ol' shovelscope in order to further explore how critics' scores can heavily affect our perceptions of a game before we're ever able to form our own opinions. Plus, I just wanted an excuse to talk about it. Pedigree While the Metal Slug series doesn't have much mainstream recognition, it's generally regarded as a well-kept secret amongst 2D enthusiasts. Furthermore, it's near-gospel to fans of side-scrolling run and gun titles, such as Contra and Gunstar Heroes. The original title is interesting in that it served as a glorification of 2D gaming right at the exact time when 3D gaming was taking over. It looked and played like a 16-bit title on steroids. Its characters were cute, its colors were bright, but the game orchestrated sprites into an all-encompassing celebration of hand-drawn beauty and retro charm. And with great fandom comes great pressure. Let us not forget the support of all things SNK by the company's monomaniacal fans, a group arguably more devoted than Nintendo's fan club. Although SNK must greatly appreciate the support and instant-buzz generated by the fans, they are also subject to very high expectations.

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  • 1. Tell Us How You Really Feel

    Iwata's ignoring the emerging presence of online gaming? Over-cautious financial planning. Miyamoto's hissy fit over Donkey Kong Country? Simple emotional release. Fischer's child-like ignorance? Well ... I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was just momentarily clueless. But there's some statements that simply defy comprehension. Coming from a man who has been the president of a major corporation for over half a century, one would assume that every decision, every statement, nay, every thought would be part of a larger scheme. Yet I think even a Bill Gates or a Warren Buffett would be left wondering what on earth was he thinking after hearing these words escape former Nintendo President and CEO Hiroshi Yamauchi's mouth: "[People who play RPGs are] depressed gamers who like to sit alone in their dark rooms and play slow games." One could take the easy way out and assume that the man, aged about 72 years at the time of the statement, was simply having a "grandpa moment." But this couldn't possibly be the same man who radically transformed a playing card company into a technological revolutionary. Turn-based RPGs were never my personal favorite type of game, but I would never attack a game without reason simply because I didn't prefer it (unless the game was Deal or No Deal, then it totally deserves to be attacked). The same man who once downplayed Microsoft as a clueless non-competitor eventually grew a reputation for head-scratching quotes. Whether he was dissing competitors or claiming that graphics were meaningless to most consumers, we can merely guess at what on earth he was thinking when he made such brazen statements. Pent-up rage over the Square-Nintendo falling out? Dismissal of a genre which catered more to larger quantities of storage, something that wasn't a priority for Nintendo in the N64 and GameCube eras? I would normally follow that sentence up with "who knows but the man himself," but one must wonder if even he knew what he was saying. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT

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  • Top 5: Say What?

    var digg_url = 'http://digg.com/nintendo/Top_5_Nintendo_Corporation_Quotes'; Ahh, the quote. Whether used to end an essay or defame a political opponent, the quote is a very versatile tool. Particularly in the era of blogging, every word that escapes a well-known figure's mouth has the potential to be immediately flung back at them. It's quite scary to look back on conversations I've had and consider the possibility of quotes of mine being used to define my character as a whole. In fact, judgement of character based on a quote can even usurp the validity of the quote itself. Conventional wisdom asserts that singer Lauryn Hill once made a statement to the effect of "I'd rather have my children starve than have a white person buy my album." While this is simply not true, the false statement has been cited by those who would define Hill as a racist. Even Eminem supported the fallacy in a song whose title I won't mention. Being over a century old, Nintendo is bound to have a few interesting quotes attributed to them. Coupled with a philosophy that is undoubtedly unique and perhaps offbeat, the Big N is not lacking in the department of ear-catching statements. Two weeks ago, I made a Top 5 in which I tried to downplay any tension between Nintendo and its fans. This week, I'm providing cheap ammunition. Enjoy. NEXT >> #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } The Top 5 is a weekly feature that provides us with a forum to share our opinions on various aspects of the video game culture, and provides you with a forum to tell us how wrong we are. To further voice your opinions, submit a vote in the Wii Fanboy Poll, and take part in the daily discussions of Wii Warm Up.

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  • 2. The A-word!!!

    Not everything shocking has to be negative. At E3 2004, Reggie Fils-Aime gave a speech in which he kick-started a new era of Nintendo, starting with a single line: "My name is Reggie. I'm about kickin' ass, I'm about takin' names, and we're about makin' games." Like a modern day Gettysburg Address, this speech -- more accurately, this line -- proved to be a turning point for the Big N. Before this moment, Nintendo seemed to be flirting with the possibility of being the loser in the home console race for three consecutive generations. As Sega taught us, it doesn't take many failures before a console-maker goes toes-up. Even this blogger considered the possibility that The Twilight Princess would be Nintendo's swan song and entertained the idea of a future Mario title being played on a competitor's system. I get the impression that I was not alone in hosting these dark thoughts. But by amalgamating a few simple words into one immortal quote, Reggie instantly won the hearts of Nintendo fanboys. More importantly, however, his presence signified a metamorphosis in Nintendo. With the use of a simple curse word, Fils-Aime drastically altered Nintendo's image from the company run by Japanese dinosaurs who "just don't get it" into an aggresive, no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners game-making machine. The results speak for themselves. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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  • 4. FU, DKC

    "Donkey Kong Country proves that players will put up with mediocre gameplay as long as the art is good." Ouch. While this statement would be at home in a 1994 recess debate between a Genesis enthusiast and an SNES fan, it actually comes from Nintendo's golden boy himself, Shigeru Miyamoto. While I find it difficult to question the man who gave the world Mario and Zelda, it's perplexing to hear such inflammatory statements about such a finely crafted game. No one would argue that DKC's gameplay was revolutionary, but to dismiss it with such pomposity is the equivalent of attacking hot dogs for not containing tenderloin. Sure, it's no filet mignon, but those hot dogs are darn delicious. I've fawned over the game before, so the defense will rest. According to the semi-reliable Wikipedia, Miyamoto was simply venting his frustrations from apparent pressure at the time by Nintendo to make Yoshi's Island graphically similar to Donky Kong Country. And if a brief emotional release is what it took for Miyamoto to keep the utterly sublime sequel to Super Mario World the way he intended, I say we give him a pass. While the statement was uncalled for, he was simply speaking his mind at that moment. And that's what some artists tend to do. After all, even Mozart was apparently a bit of a jerk. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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  • 3. Revenge of the Otaku

    I've mentioned this a few times before, but it was such a slight against gamers that it bears repeating. In July of this year, managing director of marketing for Nintendo of Europe Laurent Fischer noted that the only people who want additional storage for the Wii are "geeks and otaku." I find it interesting that a director of marketing, someone who I assume has education and experience in marketing, doesn't see the connection that those who are running out of space are consumers who have purchased much downloadable content, and they want extra space so that they can continue to purchase even more downloadable content. One could grant Fischer a pardon due to his apparent ignorance, but resorting to name-calling demonstrates that Fischer has not advanced past an adolescent tendency to make ad hominem attacks when challenged. Adding insult to injury was his non-apology apology: "I regret that this misunderstanding has created such offence and disappointment within the community." In other words, we're at fault for "misunderstanding." What is there to "misunderstand" about juvenile name calling? Claiming that hurt feelings are the fault of the victim's interpretation is nothing short of unfettered arrogance. While the previous items on this list are arguably just as outrageous, to have such a high figure in Nintendo literally insult their customer is baffling and reflects very poorly on the company. It's insulting at best and an utter mistake-hire at worst. #ninbutton { border-style: solid; border-color: #000; border-width: 2px; background-color: #BBB; color: #000; text-decoration: none; width: 100px; text-align: center; padding: 2px 2px 2px 2px; margin: 2px 2px 2px 2px; } .buttontext { color: #000; text-decoration: none; font: bold 14pt Helvetica; } #ninbutton:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #BBB; background-color: #000; } << BACK COMMENT NEXT >>

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