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Uwe Boll lands distribution deal for trio of films
Confrontational and often criticized film director Uwe Boll, known for such stellar standouts like Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne adaptations, has signed with Freestyle Releasing for the distribution of three films: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Postal and Seed, the latter notable for not being adapted from a video game.The Dungeon Siege adaptation is due out January 18 in 2,500 theaters across North America, which means you'll likely have a chance to witness it, should you honestly choose to pay for it. (Given Boll's history and the film's long-delayed release, we're not expecting much.) Postal will actually beat Dungeon Siege to theaters, slated for September 28. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Boll said that "the film likely will open on 500 screens and grow from there based on box office."When the games come out, you'll finally be able to judge for yourself. Be careful what you say, however: you might end up on the other end of a directorial uppercut.
First Postal III screens emerge, bore
If you're Running With Scissors, and you're dropping the first images of the next iteration of your controversial yet uniformly bad Postal series, would you go with barren city streets? Or would you put out screens of Gary Coleman humping a zebra being ridden by Osama bin Laden, or whatever it is exactly that happens in Postal games? Well, we hope you chose the first option, because that's what you're getting.Maybe we're just not looking close enough. Do you see anything shaped like a racial stereotype, even if you squint? No, neither do we. Well, hey, maybe the Postal brand is being moved away from clumsy attempts at "edginess" or mediocrity? Nope, negative on both counts. Wait, that's it! Maybe the most surprising thing that Running With Scissors can do at this point is not depict a gun barrel being put in a cat's anus! Maybe to be truly offensive is to defy our expectations. Or, you know, maybe they're just early shots. It's one of the two.
Postal III screens aren't tasteless (yet)
Coming straight from developer Running With Scissors and bypassing any of Uwe Boll's input, are three new Postal III screenshots. And since they come from a magazine, they're a little on the low-res side. But we have to say they do look very promising if they come from the actual game engine and are representative of what we'll be seeing in 2008. Speaking of engine, did you know Postal III will be using Valve's Source engine? That little factoid is on the house. Make the jump for the other two street-side Postal III screens.
NY Post: "Pariah" Uwe Boll unapologetic over 9/11 clip
The mainstream press, represented here by the New York Post (New York's other paper), is talking about the desperately controversial trailer for Uwe Boll's latest "low-rent shock-value ploy" (thanks, Cinematical), Postal, and they don't seem to have much nice to say about it. Coupled with responses from 9/11 victim's family members is Uwe's trademark bravado, making for an awkward (yet unnervingly satisfying) juxtaposition. Our favorite part? When Uwe says the 9/11 crash clip was being viewed "out of context." Wait, you mean to tell us that 24 second teaser for a movie that isn't even in theaters was somehow viewed out of context? Well, how'd that happen?[Via GamePolitics]
Uwe Boll responds to 9/11 'Postal' criticism, pats himself on back
The internet went ballistic over a teaser clip from schlock director Uwe Boll's coming film adaptation of schlock video game Postal. The clip seems to poke fun at the 9/11 attacks in a hamfisted, stupid way. A truly talented person can find humor in any tragedy. But is Boll, who directed the film versions of BloodRayne and House of the Dead, that kind of talent? The answer, clearly, is no. Boll disagrees.In his response to criticism over the clip, Boll self-righteously calls his film a "necessary wake-up call" and compares it to Monty Python's masterpiece, Life of Brian. That's right, a movie based on an utterly boring video game is in the same league as one of the greatest comedy touchstones in history.To call Boll a "bloviating hack" is to insult the English language by referring to him with words and not a series of guttural grunts, obscene gestures, and bodily excretions. But excretions don't really come across that well in a blog. Maybe this "Web 2.0" we keep hearing about will remedy that.
Anti-masterpiece theater presents: Postal
Critically bashed, critic-bashing and chronically inept filmmaker, Uwe Boll, has once again edited together a sequence of disparate and decidedly amateurish sequences into something loosely resembling a movie. No doubt risking some sort of infection, the folks at 1UP have embedded a NSFW and NSFH (Not Safe for Humanity) trailer of his latest videogame adaptation, Postal, into one of their pages. They're certainly a brave lot.Powered by Z-grade star power and disturbing nudity, the trailer boldly declares the film's intention to be the most disgusting and most offensive piece of celluloid known to man.So, just the usual Boll film then.[Thanks, Jonah]Watch -- Postal Trailers (yes, plural)
Vince Desi is a giant prick in Postal
Game Set Watch has managed to obtain a handful of images of Postal creator Vince Desi filming his cameo for the upcoming Uwe Boll adaptation. Desi plays Krotchy, a giant penis, and it appears he will be in a penis suit for the duration of his screen time.Gamasutra also netted an interview with Desi. Where he talks about Postal 3, the decision to use the Source engine, and his reasons for going with Uwe Boll for the movie. Postal 3 is scheduled for an Xbox 360 release sometime in 2008.
Postal 3 announced for Xbox 360, PC
Mindless everyman violence news now, with the coming of Postal 3 being officially announced by high-lariously satirical and edgy game developer, Running With Scissors. Utilizing the Valve-developed Source engine, the game and soon to be Uwe Boll anti-masterpiece will reportedly (and repeatedly) hit the Xbox 360 and PC sometime in 2008. The developer told Firing Squad that the sequel would be made and published in conjunction with Russian software company, Akella, and that it would feature an open world design similar to that of the previous Postal.Running With Scissors also noted that fan feedback (helpful summary: bleurgh) from Postal 2 would be noted as they work on the sequel. Those looking forward to having their next run-in with a polygonal Gary Coleman will be pleased to learn that a Postal collection with new extras is on the way, as is a CD filled with music "inspired by" the series. We imagine Shirley Manson features heavily on it.See also: Joystiq interviews Doug Lombardi about Xbox 360 Source
Now's your chance to throw down with Uwe
Truth is indeed stranger than fiction, unless that fiction is the work of German film-butcher Uwe Boll, in which case its ability to destroy brain cells while melting your ocular receptors is pretty darn strange in and of itself. Otherwise, truth is stranger. Like when Sir Uwe released a press statement urging his critics to "put up or shut up!" Seriously. If you published at least two negative reviews of any of Uwe's films before 2006, either online or in print, submit proof to info@boll-kg.de and (if yours were especially mean) you could be selected as one of five lucky winners to throw down with Uwe in a 10-bout match. There are some caveats: you can't have two X chromosomes (sorry ladies); you have to be between 140 and 190 pounds (sorry skinny kung-fu guys); you can't ask for money (sorry opportunists). All you get is a hotel room in Vancouver and the possible lifelong satisfaction of knowing that the entire gaming community was living through you, vicariously, while you pounded on Uwe.
