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Gamer Interrupted: Battle of the hobbies
Every other week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs. I know, it used to be weekly and then it disappeared again. But I mean it this time.This year, WoW Insider had all of their bloggers write an About the Bloggers post. When I wrote mine, I got the following comment from Supernoob:Robin, my wife loves knitting but hates me playing Warcraft. Any advice on how to pacify a warcraft widow?This surprised me, being a knitter, because I have found that the knitting community in general is pretty respectful of other people's hobbies. Knitters don't get a lot of respect from other hobbyists, so we are pretty understanding of people in similar situations. In fact, one of my first recommendations for guys with non-gamer significant others is to encourage them to get their own hobby.There are a few things that could possibly cause this Battle of the Hobbies, and I will go over some of them and suggest solutions. But it is important to remember that in all relationships, communication is key. If you are in a similar situation, asking your MMO Widow what her specific concerns are about your gaming activities is the best way to start to solve the problem.
Gamer Interrupted: Making MMOs safe for your children
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.I have a lot of hopes for my two year old daughter. I hope that she will be more athletic than I am (which, frankly, won't be that hard). I hope that she will continue to be sociable and friendly and not the introvert that I was. And I hope that she will play video games with me because, well, it will be nice to have something in common with her if my other hopes come true.Of course, I also have a lot of fears for her. There are a whole lot of scary people out there who have internet access. But, even if this were a crime-free world, there are still topics and language that I would prefer that she not be exposed to until she's mature enough to be able to handle them. And there is a lot to be said for letting our children keep their innocence for as long as possible. Not that I want to coddle her too much or keep her in a bubble, but she doesn't need to be reading R rated guildchat, either.I really do believe that there are a lot of benefits for children playing MMOs with their parents and that there are also benefits from allowing them to play MMOs solo. The problem is that there are also a lot of dangers. I'm talking here about children who can read but are not yet teenagers. Teens are a whole separate issue. I can't wait for those years (sarcasm intended).
Gamer Interrupted: Playtime Management Workshop
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.Despite my chosen screenshot, I do not believe that money is the root of all evil. Nor do I believe that about video games. But if you're reading this blog, you are probably wishing you could spend more time playing video games and less time worrying about money and the other necessities of life.Unless you are fabulously wealthy with no job, family or significant other and with servants to do all of your chores, you probably wish you had more time on your hands. Most of us have work and school or work and family or work and dating and not so much time to just play around doing whatever we like. While it is not a good idea to bring the stresses of work home with you, it is a very good idea to apply some of the skills and techniques you use at your job in your non-working life as well.I'm not saying you should hold morning meetings with your family, write up your children when they misbehave or insist on the appropriate cover sheet for their TPS reports. I do think that using some basic project management techniques to help you balance your MMO playtime with the rest of your life may be very helpful if you are having trouble juggling it all.
Gamer Interrupted: Playing together with different playstyles
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.Last week, we talked about how Duos can help you balance your gametime with your relationship building time. The comments pointed out an obstacle to pure couple-gaming bliss which I like to call the "Crunchy vs. Creamy" issue. Avid gamers who love the same game can still have trouble playing together if they have different playstyles. Back in the 80's, I heard of a relationship book that said a couple can't live together if one likes creamy peanut butter and one likes crunchy peanut butter. (No, I don't remember the book. Yes, I'm showing my age again. Get off my lawn!) Whether it's peanut butter or gaming styles, I do think gamers of different tastes can play together, but it does take some effort.There a few general non-gaming things to remember here:All relationships take effort: They do. Whether roommates or siblings or spouses or whatever, you need to be considerate of the other person and do things to nurture the relationship. If you don't, you will eventually find that your favorite hard-to-find food has been eaten or your mom has found out about that time you did that thing or you're facing legal fees and an empty bed.
Gamer Interrupted: Duos are good for relationships
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.Sharing your leisure time with a friend and/or loved one is a great way to strengthen your relationship. This is not a controversial statement. But if that leisure time includes video games, we are getting into much debated territory -- though things are improving. Newer studies are finding that social games do in fact make people more social, rather than the basement dwelling stereotypes that exist. In my opinion, MMOs are a great way to spend quality time together with friends, family and significant others -- particularly when some are in different physical locations. Couples can have in-game dates where they spend only the money that they are already spending on their account fees and with the kids sleeping nearby. Separated friends can spend time together even if they are in different countries. And, in my favorite story (though I am biased), brothers who have never met can get to know each other though they are hundreds of miles apart.
Gamer Interrupted: Gamers behaving badly
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.Every time someone in the world does something horrible and is also a gamer, the media makes the most of it. I don't want to cite specific examples here because these acts don't need more press, nor do I want to point out the connections with gaming. I'll leave that to the always entertaining Jack Thompson, Virtual Ambulance Chaser. I do think that it is natural for humans to try to find the "why" behind horrific crimes, it is just unfortunate that our hobby is the current scapegoat. We don't know what television shows the criminals watch, what books they read, what music they listen to (though all of these have been scapegoats in the past) -- but the media makes sure to mention if some kind of video game is involved. And that is another product of human nature: The Witch Hunt. When we think we've found the reason, we generalize it to every act we don't like. I haven't read that video games are responsible for global warming yet, but it's only a matter of time.
Gamer Interrupted: How to turn your wife into a gamer
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.I aim to please. So, by popular demand, this week's column is about getting your wife or live-in girlfriend to enjoy playing MMOs with you. This advice will only apply to women who are non-gamers. Turning your WoW-playing wife into an EVE Online player requires a completely different strategy. And getting guys to play video games has historically been an easier task. Also, this is directed toward those who are sharing the same living space and expenses because you may not want to be spending a grand or more on outfitting the girl who turns out to be the one before you meet Ms. Right.
Gamer Interrupted: You can be a great parent, spouse and gamer
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Gamer Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with MMOs.There is an interesting article over at Channel Massive that states in very strong terms that "You can be a great parent or a great gamer but you can't be both." He defines a "great gamer" as someone who is in a hardcore raiding guild in WoW or a top level ranked PvPer. He compares gaming to other activities which parents indulge in to escape familial responsibilities. He also claims that these "great gamers" play more in their MMO of choice than the average person watches TV and that watching TV is more conducive to parenting than "hardcore" gaming is. He breaks down the hours that must be required to be a "great gamer" and that leave no time for being a great or even good parent, spouse, billpayer, etc. Hi, my name is Robin Torres and this is the new home for my column about having a successful MMO life while still having a successful real life -- formerly Azeroth Interrupted on WoW Insider. I have a hard time with many of the opinions put forth by the article mentioned. I don't like the definition of "great gamer". I disagree with the playtime required to maintain a "great gamer" status. And I really dislike the judgmental tone directed at anyone who seems to be trying to achieve the balance of "hardcore" MMO gaming and living an otherwise successful life.
Azeroth Interrupted: Reader Mail -- Overcoming fears of raiding
Before I get to Roberth's Reader Mail, I would like to announce that I'm transferring Azeroth Interrupted over to Massively under the name of Gamer Interrupted. It's going to be the same column, except it will be about balancing real life with playing MMOs in general, not just WoW. I'm not leaving WoW Insider -- in fact, I've started writing a new weekly column called WoW, Casually which I hope those of you who have a limited WoW play time will read as well.So please come visit me at Massively on Tuesdays for Gamer Interrupted. And those of you who won't, I miss you already! I love you guys! sniffOn to Roberth's email:Dear Robin,First, let me say that I thoroughly enjoy your posts...my wife and I play WoW (me since Day One, she since I surreptitiously installed it on her computer last year) together and are glad to have found a source of enjoyment we both love! Anyway, the issue I wish to seek some advice on:
Azeroth Interrupted: Reader Mail -- How to tell your friends about WoW
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.This week, I'm answering an email from Sylvanra:Dear Robin,How do I tell my friends about WoW? It isn't a common topic of conversation, but when it does come up I usually get a little negative attention for playing, then the conversation goes on. Because of this, I kind of play it down, but I answer questions about my hobby truthfully, I certainly don't want to jeopardize my real life relationships! But I would like to somehow let them know more about WoW and why I play, without getting the negative attention I have gotten in the past. I love my friends to death, but we certainly don't agree on how we spend our free time!-SylvanraDear Sylvanra,I'm very open about my WoW habit. I wore my Wrath of the Lich King t-shirt to Disneyland this past weekend, which got me accosted by a young kid outside of the Snow White ride who wanted to make a character on my server so he could chat with me more there. A Disney castmember even interrupted his safety spiel to shout out his love for the game when he saw what I was wearing. It's obvious that there are a lot of WoW-lovers out there who are dying to talk about it. But there are also a lot of WoW players who prefer to keep their hobby on the down-low, including one or two of my friends who thought that wearing a Blizzard t-shirt to Disney was just a bit too fangirl. I don't know if Blizzard is paying for product placement or if shows are trying to reap South Park-like rewards for WoW-related episodes, but mainstream mentions of WoW help those of us with friends who give us grief for our hobby. Not that we should be embarrassed about spending our leisure time in Azeroth, but I agree with you that some friendships are worth keeping even if they don't understand your choice of recreation.
Azeroth Interrupted: Escape from Los Angeles
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.I love L.A. I really do. But there are times, like these, when I'm glad I'm a gamer and have a wide variety of ways to escape. I don't know if you non-Angelenos know what I'm talking about. Our local news gets all silly when a few drops of water are planning to fall from the sky, so it's hard to gauge reality from hype. On the other hand, celebrities have had to flee their homes! So there's a good chance that our local wildfires caused by high winds and a long drought have caught more than just local attention.I'm fine and my family's fine, but there are inconveniences and the air isn't so healthy and I just want to escape into my favorite game and relax. But I'm afraid that WoW is not going to provide the immersive experience I need right now. And I don't think it's Blizzard's fault, though there are some aspects of Azeroth that contribute to the problem. It's the WoW players.
Azeroth Interrupted: It's OK to AFK
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.We all know that Real Life takes priority over WoW and if you don't, you need to hang out with Captain Obvious more often. Even if you have all of your obligations taken care of before sitting down to play, however, sometimes a Spontaneous Real Life Interruption (SRLI) can occur and you find it hard to break away from WoW to resolve it. Maybe you're in a raid or getting revenge on that ganker or fighting the quest boss -- the SRLI doesn't get the attention it deserves. Subsequently, the most responsible, attentive people can have responsiveness issues when faced with an ill-timed SRLI.Of course, not all SRLIs require immediate attention, but you are not always able to ascertain that without taking at least some attention away from your WoW activities. So, remember this basic rule when faced with an SRLI: It's OK to AFK. Why is it OK? Because death in WoW has a very minor penalty. It really is only a penalty of convenience and the ramifications for ignoring SRLIs are usually far, far worse. It's OK to AFK because WoW death is EZ mode MMO death.
Azeroth Interrupted: Using WoW to teach children values
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.Kids on the internet is (or at least should be) a pretty scary thing for parents. There are predators, perverts or people with questionable ideas that you just don't want to expose your children to. I find it odd, therefore, that so many parents let their elementary school age children play WoW unsupervised. They must see it as an electronic babysitter like television or single player video games rather than what it really is: having your child be babysat by 9 million potential weirdos. These children attempt to get much needed guidance and attention from whatever stranger happens to be nearby. But players don't know how old unknown, needy players are -- they just see them as a nuisance and verbally abuse them accordingly.More than just exposing children to negative influences, these parents are missing out on a great opportunity to teach their children some very important life lessons. Children go to school to get educated, but they are supposed to learn their values at home. I believe that playing WoW with your children can be a great way to instill them with some very basic yet important values. My daughter is not even preschool age yet, but when she is ready, I plan to play WoW with her -- probably after playing Toontown and maybe CoH first(there's no death, just defeat). I will play MMOs with her because I've seen the result of parents actively playing MMOs with their children. For example, there was Bigmo.
Azeroth Interrupted: How to tell it's time to take a WoW break
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.Omigawd! I sound like such a twinkie on our WoW Insider Podcast. I'd like to blame playing dozens of levels as a female Night Elf with all that bouncing or blame my move to The Valley this year, but a good friend assures me I have always sounded like a twinkie, even though I'm not one, so it's ok. Regardless of my twinkie status, I had a great time with Mike and Turpster and we got to discuss all sorts of interesting stuff. And, when it comes right down to it, it's all about fun.That's the reason why we play video games in general and WoW specifically: fun. Otherwise, why spend so much time immersing ourselves in Azeroth and Outland, if we aren't enjoying ourselves? I get the idea from the comments, forums, general chat, guild chat, etc. that there are a lot of people playing the game who are currently not having fun, however. I'm not talking about the restlessness most of us are feeling in the extra long gap between content patches. There are many vocal people who seem to be very unhappy, even with all of these fun changes coming up in the next few weeks -- or because of some of the changes. So, if you aren't having fun, why are you still playing WoW?
Azeroth Interrupted: It really is ok to play WoW
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW. I've noticed that there are a lot of commenters each week whose solution to every problem is "ZOMG! Get your priorities straight! Stop playing WoW!", particularly when I answer Reader Mail.At the same time, the general public (including non-gamer significant others and parents) may not buy into the media hype that video games are the root of all evil, but the best they believe about gaming is that it is a juvenile waste of time.So the non-gaming majority and some sympathizing WoW Insider readers (who presumably play WoW themselves) are working together to try to make us feel guilty about any time we spend playing our current favorite MMO.Who really cares what strangers think about our leisure time? The problem comes when the people we know get in on the act.Should we feel bad about playing WoW?
Azeroth Interrupted: Reader Mail -- Balancing WoW and a non-gamer girlfriend
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.This week I'm answering an email from Guilty Gamer:Dear Robin, My problem's not too much school or work, but a girlfriend who'd rather have me in bed (we live together) than leveling in the wee hours. As it is, I sneak WoW into my life. If she's got a one-hour class, I've got time for five quests. But my play is ruined by the fact that I have to hide. I'm not looking at porn for crying out loud. I just want to enjoy my game. I want to sit down for a whole evening and sink in to an instance, but it seems impossible considering we always plan so much. Her hobbies/interests can be accomplished in an hour or less while mine eat a whole evening. She's not geeky like me. I tried to get her to into WoW and it made no sense to her (fair enough). I usually get an evening a week but even then she's mad or distant if I'm not talking and paying attention to her while I play. At points, I wish I could play so much more or just give up the game entirely. I really enjoy WoW and love my girlfriend. I don't know how to find harmony between them. I'm always either deprived of my time-consuming hobbies or guilty for enjoying them. Sincerely, Guilty Gamer
Azeroth Interrupted: Reader Mail -- All work and no WoW...
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.This week, I am answering an email from Gabe in Venezuela:Dear Robin, I'm Gabe, and I come to you with a question about balance. I'm 17, live in Venezuela, study in an international school (that follows the format of an American High School) and am doing something called the International Baccalaureate Diploma. Needless to say, this Diploma is one of the most challenging high school diplomas in the world, taking up countless hours of homework a week, and not letting me enjoy my game. Don't get me wrong, I have my priorities straight, I know school comes first. All my fooling around is recreational, and strictly on weekends, so you could say I'm a fairly responsible person (at least in that aspect). What I don't want to happen is for my homework and school work to be my whole day. I enter school at 8:30 am, and leave at 3:30. After all this time of work and class, I come home to a pile of paper that I need to work on that lasts until 8:00 pm. Of course, as you can imagine, I'm exhausted by the time I'm done.
Azeroth Interrupted: Reader Mail -- Is playing WoW on a school night ok?
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW. This week, I am answering an email from Bonechiller:Dear Robin, I am a 15 year old that enjoys playing WoW in my free time. School starts for me in 6 days and my mom informed me today that I won't allowed to play WoW during the week. I play in a raiding guild and would like to raid Sunday-Tuesday (3 nights a week). I don't understand how. It is not fair, I have a 4.1 GPA and do not do drugs or drink. I also play in the marching band and on the school tennis team. She won't listen to anything that I have to say about this game, I mean, it is so much more productive than sitting there watching T.V. or starting at a wall. All she does is read the threads of the people whose lives have been ruined because of this game, about 1% of the game population. Is there anyway that I can convince her that it should not be a problem that I can play 15 hours a week? She just doesn't understand what this game has done for me socially, and it reduces my stress SO much. I just don't know anyway to make her understand or let me play, do you have any suggestions?( You are a mother, but you do play the game =))~Bonechiller- 70 mage, Eitrigg US~P.S.- I want her to read what you have to say, since you are a mother and can relate to her, in motherly ways)Dear Bonechiller,First of all, you're not going to want to hear this, but I applaud your mother for being an active parent and I can see her concerns about your active school/extracurricular schedule possibly being compromised by school night gaming. With patience and constructive communication, however, I think the two of you can come to a compromise that will make both of you happy.
Azeroth Interrupted: Casuals are good players too
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW. Last week, I talked about how raiders can be successful both in-game and out by applying professional skills such as time management to their gameplay hours. I had no idea it would be a more controversial topic than when I tackled religion in game. One of the big complaints in the sea of comments was that I was making my categories too narrow. I don't think that everyone falls neatly under the labels of casual or raider, but they are convenient, commonly defined categories to use when describing 2 opposing groups of players. Last week's topic was directed toward the people who believe that all "hardcore" raiders must neglect the rest of their lives in order to see so much of the endgame content. This week I want to talk to the "serious" raiders who think all casuals stink as players. Some do, certainly, but just as there are successful raiders vs. wannabe raiders, there are also a very large percentage of casual players who are skilled at playing their class in a variety of situations. For this discussion, I will refer to them as "Skilled Casuals".
Azeroth Interrupted: Life Lessons learned from BlizzCon
Each week, Robin Torres contributes Azeroth Interrupted, a column about balancing real life with WoW.Well, I'm back home from BlizzCon and am reunited with my family. I feel that aside from the WoW info I absorbed there, that I have also learned some valuable Real Life lessons -- and I hope that other attendees learned some, too.Family First: Ok, I knew this one already, but BlizzCon reinforced it. Because I knew my daughter was well taken care of by her other parent, I was able to relax and enjoy myself. But also, Blizzard made their convention very family friendly. There was plenty to do for the whole family, including jousting. I saw babies strapped happily to parents and children enjoying a kind of Halloween in August, like this young Tauren pictured here. Unfortunately, my daughter is too old to be carried all day and too young to sit still for too long, but it is good to see that there will be plenty for her to do if we go as a family when she's older -- perhaps at BlizzCon 2010.
