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Things to do while everyone in your guild is out playing Diablo 3
Is it just me, or are the realms kinda dead today? Well, that's probably because everyone in the known universe (with the possible exception of on-call firefighters and paramedics or surgeons who are not currently engaged in removing brain tumors) is off playing Diablo III. That's fine. I don't judge. But sometimes you need something to do whenever other people aren't around to provide mental stimulation. Here are a few quick suggestions that will make your in-game life slightly more interesting until everyone gets back (and a lot more interesting afterwards): Submit a GM ticket asking if WoW's orientation around gear upgrades constitutes a dismissive critique of the nudist lifestyle. (Editor's Note: Don't do this.) If you have guild bank privileges, feng shui the contents. If you don't have bank privileges, spam the officers with letters accusing them of betraying the proletariat. Macro /y BOING to your space bar. Edit guild ranks to more accurately describe members. "Officer" is a less descriptive term than "Untrustworthy Gurthalak-Stealing Suck-Up." Run through Stormwind/Orgrimmar shouting that the Rapture has occurred.
The Soapbox: The impossible task of balancing PvP
Disclaimer: The Soapbox column is entirely the opinion of this week's writer and does not necessarily reflect the views of Massively as a whole. If you're afraid of opinions other than your own, you might want to skip this column. PvP in MMO games often comes with a whole slew of ill-defined requirements for balance. As impossible as such a thing is, we often hear the mating calls of noobies everywhere, sounding out their ineptitude with words like "overpowered" or "nerf." Those same types of players can often be found asking questions like, "What is the best class?" as if by some chance, they'll cheat the very system of balance they yearn for when they cry about every defeat they suffer at the hands of class X. In that respect, I can't blame them, either. Oftentimes I've found myself looking for a channel through which to vent my frustration or expressing my nerd-rage by disconnecting altogether. But you won't see me trolling forums, stating that one class has more power than another. I might take part in discussions of parity -- maybe. I can probably even be found taking part in debates of factional equality -- sure, in a theoretical sense, why not? But realistically speaking, balance in PvP is just an ideal. It is little more than a philosophical illusion to be debated but never fully realized. Follow along after the break as I discuss the sheer absurdity of balance in a PvP game.
Motorola patenting Feng Shui-enabled cellphone
Motorola knows what a pain it can be to hire a consultant every time you need to get your Feng Shui-on at a new location, so they're trying to patent a method for measuring chi levels right from your cellphone. In order to provide the user with the greatest amount of must-have qi, phones equipped with this tech would use nearly every available sensor -- and one dedicated one -- to develop an accurate overview of the environment: the camera is used for evalulating color saturation and spacial relationships, the GPS reciever for determining proximity to "undesirable" sites, the microphone for gauging ambient noise levels, and even the radio for measuring AM/FM transmission strength from the nearest towers. Since no Feng Shui reading would be possible without knowing which direction the main wall of the building faces, the Moto patent also calls for the inclusion of a "three-dimensional Hall-effect sensor" that would measure the strength of electromagnetic fields to deliver digital compass readings. While this all seems a bit complicated, software would take care of most of the hard work, essentially allowing the user to snap a few photos and sit back as the phone's sophisticated chi engine leads him/her to a harmonious balance.[Via Unwired View]
