friendships
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For science! The relationship between shyness and online game friendships
It's a common stereotype that shy people flock to the internet to socialize without fear of rejection. But is it true? German researchers from the University of Münster have tackled that question. In a paper published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking this past summer, the scientists sought to determine the relationship between online video games and friendship. They surveyed German video game enthusiasts to measure their involvement with online games, their web of friendships online and off, and their emotional sensitivity -- a behavioral marker for shyness. After controlling for confounders like age and gender, they found that those subjects with high emotional sensitivity reported more online friends than offline when compared to those with low emotional sensitivity. High emotional sensitivity also correlated with online friendships that transformed into offline friendships. In other words, the shier you are, the more likely you are to make more of your friends in cyberspace than meatspace, at least if you're a self-identified gamer. As Gamasutra put it, "emotionally sensitive users are using the online gaming environment differently from their counterparts. As they are shy in face-to-face interactions which translated to fewer friends, but they were able to make more friends through online videogames which its affordances (i.e., asynchronicity, visual anonymity, etc.) paved a way for them to compensate or overcome their shyness." The full paper is behind an academic paywall, but the Gamasutra summary is worth a read.
Storyboard: For me, it was Tuesday
I want to tell you a love story. It's not a happy one. It's about Daniel and Rachel. Rachel loves Daniel. She didn't expect to fall for him, but she did. The problem is that Daniel doesn't love Rachel back. More than that, he can't even conceptualize feeling for Rachel what she feels for him. She acquiesces, acts as a friend, listens to Daniel talk about his true love Samantha. She watches Daniel date Olivia. She gets attacked by Olivia for her affection. She pays attention to the fact that Daniel still talks about Samantha when she's been gone for a year, even though Daniel doesn't mention Rachel at all if she's not around. This is not a happy dynamic for Rachel, but it is certainly dramatic. The problem is that Rachel and Daniel are characters, and Daniel's player is making a point of being aloof and dismissive toward Rachel because that's the whole point. So how do you ignore Rachel without making Rachel's player feel left out of roleplaying?
The Daily Grind: Would you get married in-game if you could?
In-game marriages are largely a thing of the past. Outside of outliers like RIFT, MapleStory and Final Fantasy XIV, most games don't and won't feature the option to tie the knot inside your game of choice. Which might be seen as a bit sad, but it also raises the question of whether or not you'd use the feature even if it were available. Maybe you enjoy roleplaying, maybe you want to have a tongue-in-cheek ceremony, or maybe you play with your spouse and want to be married on multiple levels. Or maybe you think the idea of being pretend married in a pretend game is kind of hopelessly silly to begin with. So today we ask -- if you had the option of getting married in your game of choice, would you take advantage of it? Or do you think it's more or less the apex of unnecessary fluff features in games? Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!
Storyboard: Hey, I know you!
I am not a private person. I have a job that requires me to put my name on things, so that right there is a layer off the privacy shield. But beyond even that, I like to give shout-outs to people I think are cool and make my presence in a game known. It's no secret that I work here, it's no secret that I write columns here, and in most games that I play and write about regularly, my character names are kind of open secrets anyhow. Hence why I can walk around in Final Fantasy XIV and bump into people who tell me that they really liked an article I wrote, which is kind of a surreal yet awesome experience. All of this means that my reputation precedes me... which is not necessarily a good thing. While I'm all about keeping up the OOC communication, there comes a point for some players when their characters stop being Sven Ergunsdottir (played by Paul) and start being Paul's Norn guy with the name. There are challenges to playing alongside someone you know better in real life either because you know one another or because the person in question is a jerk who writes a bunch of readily available articles. So how do you handle roleplaying with people who know you very well?
Storyboard: Making character relationships work
Character interrelationships are the heart of roleplaying. The interesting part of your character isn't his background or his personality; it's what happens when you put him in a room with several other people and let the whole thing move from there. You're trying to create an entirely different person who will build an entirely different set of relationships in an entirely different world. Unfortunately, some of those relationships can feel a bit... forced -- as if you're trying to find a connection where none exists, or as if you've jumped past some important elements of characterization that would make everything seem clearer. In short, a lot of your relationships feel as if they were cut from the Star Wars prequels. I harp on verisimilitude a lot in this column, but that's precisely because roleplaying depends on the illusion of reality in each interaction. If your relationships in roleplaying feel real, it does wonders for grounding the characters and their interplay in reality and giving substance to everything else you do. So I think it's worth noting some obvious stumbling points and some ways to help relationships feel more organic.
Drama Mamas: Choosing between raiding and friendships
Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of the checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your realm. In the video above, Candace's friends are off having fun without her. Since she is unwilling to find her own fun, she takes a portal to Mars to hang out with strangers -- and breaks into song. There are parallels with this week's letter (except for the song part). Hi Robin & Lisa, I'm finally writing in with my own dilemma. Since I started playing this game in mid-Wrath, I've played with my girlfriend and our mutual friend. We have a strong bond and truly enjoy playing together, and GF and I have even met our friend IRL. In Wrath, I led our 10 man raid group, and we loved every minute of ICC. Once the Cataclysm was upon us, we expected to continue raiding. However, things rarely work out as planned, and we missed T11 completely, mostly due to the dissolution of our guild. Eventually I became frustrated with lack of progress and quit the game for a while.
The Daily Grind: Are you a part of your game's community out of game?
The foundation of an MMO is people playing together. While there are plenty of soloers -- and the smart developer will make content for them as much as for the group players -- there's a definite community inside of an MMO. That community often continues after logout, though. Thanks to forums both official and not, social media groups, IRC chat, and even real-world meetups, players can continue the social interactions beyond guild or group chat. Of course, that's if they're comfortable with it. Players vary widely on this, so where do you stand? Do your in-game friendships extend beyond the walls of Azeroth, Telara, The Wasteland, or Tyria, or do you prefer that what happens in game stay in game? Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!
Visualized: Facebook's global reach
If you've ever wondered what a map drawn entirely of Facebook relationships would look like, wonder no more. A Facebook intern by the name of Paul Butler has put together the above image by feeding in location data for pairs of friends, with the white lights representing cities, towns, and hamlets, and the blue streaks between them identifying relationships linking them. It's fun to see large swathes of Australia and South America devoid of Facebook activity, but check out the bit on the map where Russia and China are supposed to be -- is Facebook the most capitalist social network ever or what? Hit the source link for the full-scale image, it gets prettier the closer you get to it. [Thanks, Ian]
Wings Over Atreia: The ties that bind
Flaws. Bugs. Annoyances -- like a level 45 slaughtering you while your little level 18 self is quietly going about gathering Lumesia. Moments that just make you want to find a dev and toss him off the nearest high rise; all games have them, no one denies this -- not even Aion players (although they usually don't feel the need to discuss them with those who don't play). So why is it we stay in games that, at times, make us want to rip our hair out by the fistfuls? With such a plethora of games catering to a wide variety of play styles, how do we stay faithful to a particular one over the long haul, even when we know it isn't perfect? No, it isn't because we are all secretly masochistic. Or because we detest our barber/hairdresser. Looking around me in games both past and present, watching those who could be considered die-hards stay in (and enjoy) games long after the masses have fled, I found themes that mirrored some of my own reasons -- because, alternately, there are the moments that make it worth it. Not the art, the features, or the wittiness of the quest dialog. Rather, the ties that bind us: Friendships, epic memories, and just plain stubbornness. Charge across the bridge and we'll delve into my top reasons for sticking with a title, even in the face of the raging malcontents.
The Daily Grind: There's a line, and you crossed it
The relationships we form in games are by their very nature kind of mercenary. You make friends in EVE Online not because you know your bosom buddy is waiting for you, but because flying in 0.0 is pretty dangerous on your own. So most of your friends in a game start off based on you deriving some benefit, and with a few exceptions that's where they remain. The problem comes when that benefit is outweighed by something else. That's when guilds of friends have nasty splits over what seem like minor matters, because someone crossed a line and no amount of in-game support is worth the drama. Sometimes it's all game-related, and other times outside drama shoves its way into the game. Either way, it's something bad enough that you're often cutting off a significant advantage -- sometimes even a whole guild and the concurrent access to the endgame -- for purely personal reasons. Those of us who have done so, though, rarely look back with regret. What about you? When has a relationship in a game passed the point where the benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks? Or have you only ever been on the flipside of the equation?
Facebook vs. World of Warcraft
They both have millions of users across the world. They both have made and broken friendships and relationships, and they both have raised millions if not billions of dollars for their respective companies. And chances are that they're both so popular even your grandma knows about them. Gamasutra has written an interesting post comparing both World of Warcraft and Facebook of all things, and they say that the two are more alike than you might think: both enable you to create an identity, and use that identity to interact with others, and both give you a wide variety of options to do so (in WoW, you can slay dragons together, and on Facebook, you can tag pictures or post on walls). Gamasutra wants to get to the center of where exactly the interactivity lies, and in doing so, figure out what makes Warcraft a game, and Facebook a network. One major difference is in the interface -- obviously, WoW is wrapped in a fantasy world, so that in between all of the socializing, you're also fighting the Scourge or the Burning Crusade. Facebook has games, but it doesn't have that overarching narrative. WoW also rewards group teamwork and coordination, while Facebook leaves collaboration to its own rewards. And of course the cost is another big difference: WoW is still a subscription game, while Facebook pays in other ways. But the amount of similarities between the two are pretty fascinating. And comparing the two, as Gamasutra does, really makes you think about just what interactivity means, and how two apparently very different types of interactive media aren't that far apart after all.
Psychologists talk gaming addiction, online friendships
1UP's Scott Sharkey has written an article titled "Hook It to My Veins: Can Videogaming be an Addiction?" in which he provides anecdotal experiences with excessive gaming and conversations with two experts -- researcher/author Neils Clark and psychology lecturer Dr. Nadine Pelling. The conclusion is made pretty quickly: yes, video games can be an addiction. Big surprise there! But the details can be wishy-washy, it turns out. Virtual worlds are the subject of in-depth analysis. Clark borrows from a theory by J.R.R. Tolkien by suggesting that gaming addiction is about a conflict between what ought to be a primary world, and a secondary fantasy world. Gamers with a problem have difficulty prioritizing, or even acknowledging that the gaming world is secondary. Immersion is an important part of enjoying a game, right? But if you're thinking about how you need to make sure the primary world gets its due attention, then you're not immersed anymore -- so begins the problem.
MMO Couples tells you how to find love online
MMO Couples is a new blog about "how people successfully combine online gaming and relationships," and it's a pretty interesting read, whether you're a fan of online gaming or romance in general. It's written by "Gabi," a woman who met her boyfriend in WoW (she tells the story on the site), and while there's not much to read through there yet, it does seem like it might be an interesting look at how couples find themselves in virtual worlds.There are also some tips on how to find love in a virtual world, and I like how down-to-earth they are: communicate as much as possible, be realistic, have a backup plan. Online romances are often full of drama, and it seems pretty tough to get a good relationship out of having met in a place where the whole point is that you're pretending to be someone you're not.But a site like this would help fix some of that -- providing a community and a forum for folks in online relationships would probably help everybody involved.[Via Wonderland]
Farewell, my friend
For people who don't play the World of Warcraft or similar games, or do not spend much time on the internet at all, it's difficult to grasp the idea of bonds and friendships formed over the web. How can you be friends with someone you've never seen before? I can understand the inability to grasp such a thing, it's rarely easy to comprehend what you haven't seen or experienced yourself. To those who haven't had powerful friendships over the internet, it makes no sense how you can grow so close to someone you can't see, you can't touch.Even through the supposed anonymity of the internet, the greatest of friendships can be formed. Bonds so powerful that you never want to let them go, and may change your life forever, for the better. Despite the distance, despite the inability to touch and feel, you can grow as close as family to these supposed anonymous people. These individuals are more than just "internet people." They're people. In the World of Warcraft, a video game, I have found people that have truly changed me. I would not be the person I am today without them.I've been playing WoW since launch day, and the community I've been a part of in the game has been a constant for all of these years. People have come and people have gone, but for the most part, I've played the World of Warcraft with the same names, the same faces, the same people. I'm 21 now, and I started gaming with this crew when I was 17. I can safely say I've essentially grown up with these people. We reminisce on the old days, and we realize that we've all changed quite a bit since the beginning. We've matured together, we've grown up together. People who have never had this experience, as I said before, don't understand how you can form such bonds over the internet. Some of the greatest friendships I've ever had, and ever will have, have been on the internet. Some people you will never forget, no matter where you met them. This is something I've had to think about quite a bit the last few days.
Real friends, real relationships forged online
This article at 2old2play takes a look at how we form relationships with others online, questioning the assumption that "real life" friends are the only sort of friendships worth having. Getting to know and like people via Xbox Live and other services isn't the exclusive domain of the nerd, nor has it been for some time.While friendships formed online have been flourishing for years, the advent of easily available voice chat certainly makes it easy to feel close to those you play with on Xbox Live. Spending time together in the same place, even if it is a Halo 2 map, can lead to heart-to-heart conversations -- hanging out in the pregame lobby, or just wandering around a map with friends, brings Xbox Live close to feeling like a virtual world rather than a framework for FPS combat.
