Infinium Labs strapped for cash, triples shares, gets some coffee
Infinium Labs shareholders must have been genetically engineered at birth to be the most patient people on the face of the Earth. Like X-Men investors. ...X-vestors. This time they've authorized Infinium Labs to triple their available stock, from 200,000 shares to 600,000 shares. What's the deal? Well, to be blunt, Infinium Labs needs some major dough. Majorly. They also want to avoid being voted Vaporware of the Year two years in a row, so they've vowed to launch their aptly-named Phantom console within the time frame of Q2 2005. The conundrum: they estimate that it will cost around $11.5 million to launch the Phantom Game Service, and, as of last year, they had around $20,000 in the bank. That's right, they could pay for two semesters of college tuition. You may be asking, "how will they ever overcome this dilemma?!" as you grip the seat of your chair in a cold sweat. Reading Joystiq does that to people. How will they overcome it, you ask? By selling themselves off, of course! Look at it this way: at $0.25 per share, it would only take $75,000.25 to own the entire company! So if you've ever wanted to own your own company, then buy! buy! buy! and maybe the Phantom console won't come bundled with a copy of Duke Nukem Forever after all.
UPDATE: Apparently, Infinium's stock will be tripling to 600 million shares, rather than just 600 thousand. The only real difference this makes is that it means you're gonna to need to raise approximately $74,925,000 more to claim a majority stake in the company. My bad. Though I'm sure you could get the money easily by pawning off all those rare SNES carts you keep locked up in the safe, next to your birth certificate (and possibly your death certificate, if you're someone who likes to plan ahead). Thanks to one of the guys from ChatterBox Video Game Radio for catching this. Normally I'd attempt to validate it, but I'd say their name sounds official enough. We can't even spell "joystick" right, for crying out loud.
[thanks, Aaron]
