In a statement issued today, Nintendo have confirmed that Mario's triumphant return to smashing bricks with his head and chasing after mushrooms in New Super Mario Bros. is poised to help usher in the North American launch of the DS Lite, perhaps to a degree that few gamers were expecting. New Super Mario Bros. will only be compatible with the DS Lite and will not work with the original machine. Nintendo's name-taking, posterior-assaulting marketing guru, Reggie Fills-Aimes, explained that players would be able to see why this decision was made.

"Players won't be able to see. On the original DS, I mean. The screens on the old system are simply much too dark, making the new Mushroom Kingdom almost impossible to navigate. We had always planned to make New Super Mario Bros. a premier title for the Lite and its superior screens, and what better way to make it exclusive to that system?"

This lends more weight to the earlier murmurings of a Mario DS Lite bundle hitting US shores, though Reggie was quick to point out that the recent shortages in Japan may cause the system to launch a bit later than the game itself.

"New Super Mario Bros. should be out for a little while before the DS Lite, which is a great way of starting the marketing train rolling. The actual system won't take long to catch up though--two months at most."

The Lite-only New Super Mario Bros. is currently slated for release on 21 March.

[Update: Just in case you're reading this late, this story was an evil, bogus April Fool's trick. Shame on me.]

This article was originally published on Joystiq.

You Only Launch Twice