After trawling through a considerable number of entries for our latest Joyswag contest and being subjected to images both hilarious and infinitely disturbing, we've finally picked four winners. There were plenty of superb entries, though it was certainly alarming to note how quickly we became numb to decapitated Sony executives, Indiana Jones crossovers and, lest we forget, gigantic male genitalia.
Though it proved to be the least popular in the series, Jurassic Park V marked the first adaptation of a game based on a sequel to a film based on a novel. As the film was marketed as such, it failed to tap into the fanbase established by either the film franchise, the game or the novel. One critic called it "a monumental waste of life," describing Shigeru Miyamoto's performance as "erratic" and "unsettling."
Praised for its innovative controls and charming characters, Wii: The Extraordinary Technology was one of several launch titles for the ill-fated Ninty 2006 Video Game System. Despite rampant critical acclaim, the game failed commercially due to its dated graphics and an unusual bout of censorship that saw all the guns in the game digitally replaced with TV remotes. Rumors of a next-gen sequel have thus far been unfounded.
After conquering the charts with hits like "Bowiimian Rhapsody" (OOF!) and "It's a me (Mario)", the members of metal band, Miyamoberg, announced their intention to break up and establish solo careers. It is commonly asserted that the band's drummer is the only member with any real talent or potential, thus leaving the others doomed to languish in obscurity.
In 2006, video game blog Joystiq chose the above image as one the winners in a fun, but ultimately pointless contest. The challenge was simple and merely required readers to submit a modified version of an image containing Shigeru Miyamoto and Steven Spielberg. While Steven Spielberg himself was outraged by his depiction as a sword-wielding elf with poor grammar and spelling, Joystiq defended the image by saying "unbelievably, we're still not sick of that giant enemy crab meme."
Congratulations to the winners (we'll be in touch) and a note of gratitude to all those that entered.