Much to the chagrin of teenage girls everywhere, a menacing looking, middle-aged man named Tony Wright has broken the world record for the longest phone call. According to reports, the man talked on an IP phone for 40 hours, and was apparently still deeply involved in the conversation (with a woman named Jenny Barnard) when reporters started showing up. The previous record was held by two anti-social folks from neutrality-loving Switzerland named Sandra Kobel and Stephen Hafner, having chatted away for 39 hours, 18 minutes, and 24 seconds. When asked what he had talked about for over 40 hours, Tony said (while twirling his hair), "Well, I heard that Bobby had dumped Lisa, and I was like, No way! And then Jenny said that everyone knew that Bobby was a dirtbag from the start, and I just thought..."

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Man breaks world record for longest phone call