First Mario Kart competition opens, disappoints

Those of you who booted up the Wii this morning and checked out the Mario Kart Channel may have noticed that the first competition has finally been opened for entry! The process is simple: complete three laps of Mario Circuit as quickly as possible, upload your time to Nintendo's big list 'o times, wait until the deadline (May 9th or May 10th, depending on your timezone), and get ready to bask in internet glory. Hurray, right?

Wrong.

When we think of Mario Kart time trials, we think of gradually shaving milliseconds off of our best times, of taking every corner as finely as possible, of finding the best way to utilize our three mushrooms, of locating the perfect racing line, and of keeping our noses just ahead of the time trial ghosts. Yet this first Mario Kart Wii competition totally misses the point.

For instance, it's not a time trial at all, but a fully fledged race, complete with eleven opponents and all the usual items. In other words, you can take every corner as flawlessly as possible, only to get blue-shelled on the final straight. Which doesn't strike us as a terribly fair contest. We guess this is meant to level the playing field for newer players, but shouldn't more skillful players be justly rewarded?

Anyway, if you do want to try your hand at being robbed of a deserved victory, this blogger's best time so far is a quite appalling 2:03.325.