mounting a silent offensive to overtake our societies and claim ownership of our land, now we're faced with the startling realization that even our sporting events aren't safe from subterfuge. At the seventh annual RoboCup German Open, hordes of teams have descended upon the pitch in order to compete in robot-only soccer, er, football matchups. Quite honestly, everything seemed fine and dandy until we hit a quote from Stefan Kohlbrecher, a member of the Technical University of Darmstadt's Darmstadt Dribblers team: "The goal of the RoboCup is to compete against human world champions with robots by the year 2050." Funny, we'll supposedly be fornicating with androids by that same year. Cue Michael Stipe, please.