USB-powered Animal Massager just might be a bit weird

Attention all trinket lovers, your next must-buy piece of garbage has just arrived. For years, mom 'n pop stores (not to mention Cracker Barrel Country Stores) have raked in serious profits selling wooden animals with round knobs for feet, but now those manual farm-derived masseurs are likely out of a job. The USB Animal Massager ups the ante in a serious way by getting powered by USB, meaning that you won't even have to lift a finger as you watch that dog, panda or pig go to town on your toes or aching back. $10 spells relief (and embarrassment, but whatever).

[Thanks, Fanny]

[Kenneth @ Jul 1st 2008 3:31PM]

first....!!!!

[blevay @ Jul 1st 2008 4:51PM]

who. fucking. cares.

[mike @ Jul 1st 2008 5:36PM]

Its still stupid, but you are allowed to put "first" if you have something to say.
You are just a total loser if you put "first" with nothing else.

[Danakin @ Jul 1st 2008 3:31PM]

more than a..."bit"...weird, wtf

[Fusion Fuzo @ Jul 1st 2008 3:34PM]

are thats so cute, i want one lol

[natels @ Jul 1st 2008 3:44PM]

For someone who can't even express 'aww' correctly, you would want one.

[m @ Jul 1st 2008 3:40PM]

"go to town on your toes," eh? more like go down on your... never mind.

[ethana2 @ Jul 1st 2008 3:49PM]

Exactly.

[natels @ Jul 1st 2008 3:56PM]

I heard the snake is the next model...

[Boarderwoot @ Jul 1st 2008 3:38PM]

Making them USB powered might lead to other uses considering their power source is in such close proximity to the source of most people's "adult" entertainment...

[Oliver @ Jul 1st 2008 3:43PM]

yeah, I keep that DVD of "Babe" in my computer disc drive all the time! =D

[kjb434 @ Jul 1st 2008 3:50PM]

So can we officially make the statement that USB has become the defacto power source for desk crap?

Yeah, of course there's some cool things like the desktop single can fridge, but come on, vibrators?

P.S. I know they are for massages, but doesn't that describe what a vibrator does too?

[ethana2 @ Jul 1st 2008 4:44PM]

Yeah I know what you mean-- My three year old stuck a pair of finger clippers in a USB port and nearly died!

Not.
It's superior. Use it.

[ethana2 @ Jul 1st 2008 3:50PM]

I don't see why they have four legs when they only need like one or two..

[Ristic @ Jul 1st 2008 4:27PM]

Two?

[Lowest Ranked @ Jul 1st 2008 7:01PM]

What the hell are finger clippers and why would you ever want to do that?!

[Bunson @ Jul 1st 2008 4:44PM]

fwap fwap fwap fwap buzzz fwap buzz fwap fwap fwap buzzz buzzz fwap

[ethana2 @ Jul 1st 2008 4:45PM]

And as usual, the engadget comment system is borked!

[hermano @ Jul 1st 2008 4:51PM]

This reminded me of those little keychain animals that when you squeeze them, poo comes out.

[Lowest Ranked @ Jul 1st 2008 7:02PM]

The fun part is pulling out the gelly poop which is actually more like a dark orange mold of the animal and throwing it in peoples' hair.

[retro77 @ Jul 1st 2008 4:57PM]

To think of what type of people come up with this type of product scares me.

[ShadowKain @ Jul 2nd 2008 11:35AM]

I of course know this is for the female crown obviously (Think gutter minds..) And, what self respecting guy would buy a pig with tiny feet and massage his back with it?