Ach, if I'd've known tha' Arator
was so sensitive 'bout bein' called Elfie McOrphan, I would 'ave kept me mouth shut a' the Inn. Still, restroom guard duty is far too harsh o' a punishment. Lookit what happened to th' last guy! He lost tha keys, an' then died from sepsis after his bladder burst. 'S no way for a dwarf ta go. If only he'd bin able to get th' top off tha' bottle, he coulda hid behind tha' bush, taken care of business, and I'd still be drinkin' with Father Malgor
instead of walkin' th' same ten steps over and over agin all day and all night. (Thanks to Tom for the submission!)
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