Creative's Zii "Stemcell Computing" is not likely to be awesome

Look, we have no idea what's going on here, and you know what? Maybe it's better that way. Creative -- a company always on the edge -- has clearly gone off the deep end. A new teaser on its site promises that "Everything you know is about to change..." and forwards on to the dubious Zii.com -- with a logo that couldn't be more obvious about its Wii inspiration. Four leaf clovers shimmer and shake, and a trademarked term chills us to our very core: Stemcell Computing. Yeah, how about no. If this is at all interesting to you, we recommend registering for updates soon, before this company manages to implode the Earth with its mad, mad science.

[Thanks, Grayson S.]

[Fred @ Dec 26th 2008 9:42AM]

I smell a juicy lawsuit! Corpyright Lawyer! I CHOOSE YOU!

[Fred @ Dec 26th 2008 9:43AM]

Or maybe "COPYRIGHT" ya know, whatever. :(

[refriedbeans19 @ Dec 26th 2008 9:45AM]

mama guevo

[cwj @ Dec 26th 2008 1:42PM]

Nah. I prefer corpyright.

[Fizzl @ Dec 26th 2008 3:59PM]

I'm guessing it won't be pronounced zee but will instead be Zen-something.

It will also turn out to be a netbook with a music focus.

[Derry Quinn @ Dec 26th 2008 4:20PM]

@Fizzl

Truly Epic comment. I hope you win something sometime.

[jK @ Dec 27th 2008 11:35AM]

They missed "X" and went straight for "Z"!

[Jason @ Jan 2nd 2009 3:37PM]

The word you're looking for is trademark not corpryight.

[refriedbeans19 @ Dec 26th 2008 9:43AM]

Talk about lawsuit :D

[wp @ Dec 26th 2008 9:48AM]

http://whois.domaintools.com/zii.com

Created: 2000-03-03
Expires: 2011-03-03
Updated: 2008-12-20

[Ross @ Dec 26th 2008 12:53PM]

meh, somebody probably owned the site before Creative. So that's why it's created in 2000. Anybody hear about the guy that owned www.pizza.com ? he sold it for a fair bit to Pizza Hut I believe. Or unless I'm missing the point that something that happened on the 3rd March 2000, then please fill me in :)

[Chris @ Dec 26th 2008 9:54AM]

Weiiiiird!

[BobFromVegas @ Dec 26th 2008 11:07AM]

Speaking of one word descriptions, where has Fusion Fuzo been? His typical "FUGLY" and "NICE" haven't been seen in awhile.

Maybe if he did go to the holiday meet up, he forgot his flak jacket and got killed.

[y3k.nik @ Dec 26th 2008 11:12AM]

Please dont tell me the Endgadget Ban Squad isnt real :O!

[Oli D @ Dec 26th 2008 5:46PM]

well, look at iEye... not a whisper for weeks

[telepheedian @ Dec 26th 2008 7:45PM]

iEye moved to gizmodo, but I think they were pretty fast about banning him there.

[Blastar @ Dec 27th 2008 12:04AM]

The question is what kind of ANTIVIRUS do we need to use... would it be a biological or digital one ?
And if it gets broken where would I go to the PC technician or the General Practitioner ?
Man all this new technology is so confusing.

[Arkenklo @ Dec 27th 2008 6:38PM]

You know, guys, maybe, just maybe, ha actually have's a family! It's cristmas afterall!

I'm totally not being sarcastic right now.

[Flaystus @ Dec 26th 2008 9:57AM]

Looks I'll do a lot for a faster computer but reaping babies is where I draw the line!






maybe...

[Chuckles McGee @ Dec 26th 2008 5:55PM]

Stemcell computing, huh....embryos are pretty good at dividing.

[John @ Dec 26th 2008 11:26PM]

is the line for reaping babies before or after the line for raping babies? because both sound just absolutely terrible.

[TREX6662k5 @ Dec 26th 2008 9:58AM]

Teenage pregnancies aren't that bad anymore

[Samboini @ Dec 26th 2008 10:00AM]

Awesome.

*whips off condom*

[Xenoterranos @ Dec 26th 2008 10:24AM]

Wait, maybe it'll have a Mr.Fusion type slot on top that, instead of putting in trash, you PUT WHOLE BABIES IN.

[Zunavio @ Dec 26th 2008 9:58AM]

A Wheatgrass processor !!


Zii for urself.

[Zunavio @ Dec 26th 2008 10:03AM]

Strange!

Wikipedia know nothing about the Zii, neither is Google...

How do you know it's Creative's

[Name @ Dec 26th 2008 10:22AM]

go to creative dot com

[lolec @ Dec 27th 2008 11:57AM]

http://us.creative.com/welcome.asp

[Cal @ Dec 27th 2008 7:12AM]

EpiZENter and NothingButCreative claim to know about it: (from epiZENter.net)

"Creative will be unveiling a new processing chip at CES 2009. The chip will be called the "Zii", a name not unlike that of Nintendo's console. The chip might have a simplistic name, but according to their teaser site, it's going to change everything. The Zii will be using "Stemcell computing", whatever that means. That term has been trademarked by Creative just a couple of weeks ago, and it may raise a few eyebrows. We don't know exactly what Creative means by Stemcell computing, but we're definitely curious.

The Creative Zii is a new computing chip designed by Creative that is using a trademarked Stemcell Computing technology. It will be coming in 2009 to many electronics including Creative MP3 players

The chip has been top secret at Creative's headquarters for some time now, and it looks to be one of the biggest projects they've invested in. We can't reveal too much more about the chip right now, and we don't want to spoil it for Creative. Just know this is completely different from their X-Fi audio chip and it will be used in a variety of upcoming products.

This article was written through an agreement with NothingButCreative. We will be working in tandem in releasing this info and perhaps more in the future. Make sure to check out both sites in the future for more information."

[sven vollstag @ Dec 26th 2008 10:05AM]

"i think ill diss creative before even knowing what they are doing"
"not for any reason, other than to confirm my lameness"
"oh look a microwave, ill put my head in it..."

[Fred @ Dec 26th 2008 10:10AM]

It has nothing to do with Creative. If I needed to "diss" them there's a lot more fodder for it than some silly "Zii" thing.

[Tony @ Dec 26th 2008 1:33PM]

Have you actually read any articles on Engadget about Creative? I'm guessing not, but for reference: http://www.engadget.com/tag/creative/
Zen Mosaic- "is a crap"
"Creative announces more unimpressive X-Fi gear"
"Creative gives up, announces Zen Moo" (later updated: Seems the Zen Moo is a tribute to the 2009 Chinese New Year, year of the plastic cow (its year of the Ox)
"Creative Announces Zen Mosaic, Looks Like Bad Mondrian"

Paul Miller/Thomas Ricker obviously don't own a Creative player.

[superhobo @ Dec 27th 2008 7:23AM]

Creative has dared to compete with Apple, and therefore must be shunned.

Shun creative. Shunnn, shuuuunnnnnn...

[lolkatz @ Dec 26th 2008 10:07AM]

Ew.

[MRLN @ Dec 26th 2008 10:18AM]

Maybe it uses our OWN stem cells, so it just plugs into the back of our necks. Much less disgusting than using random teenagers' babies, no?

Zii vould like to play... vith your mind!

[Xenoterranos @ Dec 26th 2008 10:22AM]

It looks like a fake console that's trying to rip off all three consoles at once!
huzzah!

Also, Samboini: O_O

[Fred @ Dec 26th 2008 10:26AM]

It occurs to me that this in fact has nothing to do with actual stemcells (maybe I'm slow?) it's a push to have components that function LIKE stemcells.

[Paul Miller @ Dec 26th 2008 11:09AM]

That could actually be pretty cool... we shall see!

[bebop @ Dec 26th 2008 8:01PM]

I modded you up because it's an original idea.

Now, explain yourself. What the heck does a stemcell do, and how could an electronic component mimic this and still be useful?

[Fred @ Dec 26th 2008 10:26PM]

My comments didn't take the first time around. Basically stem cells can become any type of cell, so if you had a powerful/versatile processor it could do anything (sound, video, CPU) like a stem cell. It'd be even more compelling if you could do all those things on the same die, huh?

[yelohbird @ Dec 26th 2008 11:53PM]

Maybe the Cell processor (e.g. in the PS3?)

[Micah @ Dec 26th 2008 10:29AM]

If Zii is anything like the Wii, it is going to suck after the novelty wears off.

[Technex @ Dec 26th 2008 10:42AM]

I still love having a game on mine, perhaps you need to buy different types of games?

"Party" ones normally wear down in fun after a while as they're only designed for short gaming sessions with others.


Try and have a look at Metroid Prime Corruption or Super Smash Bros Brawl, these are two of the best games ever created.

[dan @ Dec 26th 2008 12:44PM]

Way to ruin a joke with a sensible response ;)

[Fozzy83 @ Dec 26th 2008 8:39PM]

Please tell me when the "Wii novelty" has worn off. Because last I checked it's still outselling the other 2 consoles.

[STINK @ Dec 26th 2008 10:29AM]

Woo-hoo! Wetwire computing!

I hear dead baby souls overclock pretty darn good...

[Flixelflit @ Dec 26th 2008 10:36AM]

I bet it is the new break off chips that is based off of the cell processor(get it Stem Cell?).

It almost sounds like they are going to be partnering up with Wii.

.....or they really have been huffing to much glue in the factory.

crt

[Christian Walters @ Dec 26th 2008 10:43AM]

Apparently CREATIVE is doing science when they are barely alive.

[mocax @ Dec 26th 2008 10:47AM]

the world's first pmp that eats babies for power.....

[tekdroid @ Dec 26th 2008 10:47AM]

Truly perplexing.
Not holding breath but hoping for something cool from Kwii-ative :)
*boom, tish*