Drama Mamas: My GM is a succubus

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

We know, we know: A hot, fresh Succubus managing your every need - in game, in Vent, on the forums ... How's this a problem, again? Unfortunately, we suspect the reader who submitted the headline question this week was thinking of the more traditional type of succubus: the life force-sucking vampires who impose a real-life Curse of Exhaustion on their hapless victims. Yeah, this guy from this week's headline sub-mission (har, har) has got it that bad. The Drama Mamas exorcise his demon, plus explore what to do when you catch a young guildmate indulging in some not-so-pretty behavior, after the break.

My GM is a succubus
Dear Drama Mamas: My GM, a single gal who promotes getting to know the guildies (read as Facebook stalking), has a bad habit of becoming attached to guys in the guild. Sometimes it causes RL drama for people, and other times it's just wildly inappropriate talk in Vent during a raid. I can't begin to tell you how hard it is to handle Sarth while the DPS is either professing her undying love or demanding to know why the main tank isn't returning her calls or e-mails or Facebook messages or Twitters or texts or smoke signals ... w/e. I spend the first 20 minutes of every game night talking her out of kicking someone out of the guild for not posting to her Facebook comment and the second 20 minutes explaining why it not OK to Zaboo people (showing up at people 's houses, for those that haven't seen that episode of The Guild), which my wife is still pissed about.

It's causing mad drama! This has seriously crushed our raid group three times, and these days we can barely field a decent 10-man Naxx group (when we were Ulduar-25 when I joined).

This behavior is how I got to be an officer in the first place -- and my wife, who was in the guild but left because she thinks I'm the next victim, thinks I should try to take over the guild. I really don't need this headache. I just needed a few more achievements for my fancy title and my mount. Now the GM's cuddling up to me begging me to help save the guild, the wife's agro meter is maxing out, guildies are /gquitting every day.

Seriously, what do I do? I just wanna play, get me some loot and a few achievements and unwind after a crappy day at work. I don't wanna be an office or raid leader. My guild raids on the two nights a week that my wife/work/kid allows me to play on. I've talked to several other guilds, but none of them raid on my nights. Signed, I Just Wanna Play

Drama Mama Lisa: That's a lot of agony and confusion over a situation you've outlined in black and white: A guild that's progressing backwards. Members leaping like rats from a sinking ship. A GM who's sucking the life out of the guild's raid momentum, the members' personal lives and your own playtime.

And the best thing you can find to say about it is that it's all happening at the hours you've chosen to spend online?

Your wife had the right idea. Get the hell out of Dodge. Formulate a polite excuse, if it makes you feel better. Someone like this GM (good heavens, man, look at the title you used on your e-mail!) will most assuredly never accept it with the good grace in which it's offered; use your /ignore list as needed, sever social media ties and carry on.

Next on the agenda: a more congenial guild. If you exhaust the options for guilds that play on your schedule, you may need to consider a server transfer. Sometimes a realm in a different time zone offers more guilds that fit your particular schedule. Alternately, you could try to salvage something from what's already (come on, admit it) the wreckage. Try to identify who else in the guild is enthusiastic enough to help out. If you discover enough like-minded, energetic souls, you could consider staging a coup d'état. At worst, you may be able to snag some sympathetic guildmates and start up something new (your wife: member #2?).

Whatever your choice, keep your eye on the bottom line. Right now, you're not playing WoW at all – you're playing junior high school-level social shenanigans. Definitely not worth your $15 per month.

Drama Mama Robin: After you read Drama Mama Lisa's advice, hopefully you already /gquit and put the succubus on ignore. If you haven't, do so now. In the meantime, let me talk to your wife.

Dear Mrs. Play, Since Mr. Play is having a hard time letting go, it's time to move. Go to the realm forums and find one that is located in your time zone, has a medium population and has casual raiding guilds that fit your spouse's schedule and your own. Also, you are obviously not providing enough chaos, drama and fake damsel-in-distress in your husband's life - forcing him to seek it elsewhere. Try flirting with the UPS guy. They're usually pretty hot. Also, play WoW in lingerie and then refuse any amorous advances. Then later complain they weren't the right amorous advances. After a bit of this, hopefully he'll go back to appreciating your level-headedness and common sense. Obviously, you had the right idea about the succubus long ago. Ok, put Mr. Play back on.

So, Play. I agree with Lisa, but I think you should get as far away from Dodge as possible. Help your wife find a new server and make sure that the succubus doesn't find out about it. Also, buy your wife some flowers, chocolates, shoes, diamonds, a vacation in Paris - whatever you can afford, and apologize profusely for getting your feminine attention needs satisfied extramaritally.

The young beggar
Dear Drama Mamas, I caught a young fellow guildmember begging in Ironforge. We are a long-standing casual raiding guild with a good reputation on our server. Our guild rules forbid begging, ninjalooting, etc. but I think this kid is pretty young and may not have read the rules. I don't know if his parents play, but no one has owned up to him in guild. I whispered him that it wasn't allowed, but he logged off without responding to me. Should I tell the GL or wait to see if it happens again? Sincerely, Not a Parent

Drama Mama Robin: Dear Not a Parent, You hit the nail on the head with your signature. You are not this kid's parent, nor should you or your guildies be responsible for his education in manners. Because WoW is "just a game" in many non-gaming parents' eyes, they let their children play unsupervised and unguided. Lil Beggar's public actions reflect poorly on your guild and very few people even think about the age of other players, let alone give allowances for it.

Yes, tell your Guild Leader about the behavior and hopefully he/she will gkick Lil Beggar. I know it sounds harsh, but the kid needs to know that non-parental adults are going to be strict on rules and short on patience for bad behavior. You'll be doing him a favor and keeping your guild's good name clean.

Drama Mama Lisa: Aww, Robin, you're such a meanie! Why not put the poor kid on warning or probationary status, instead? Not a Parent, I do agree with Robin that you shouldn't give your young guildie too much room to slide - but I don't think you're off the hook when it comes to being "responsible for his education in manners." If you accept minors into your guild and if you expect a certain level of decorum, it's up to you to provide a little guidance. That includes a shot or two at getting off-track behavior back on the rails. Give him a chance or two. If he blows it -- /gkick it is.

Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.