hyperspeed press conference that touched on all aspects of its business (did you know Samsung is the number one vendor of French door refrigerators in the US?), but the company has been teasing its CES keynote today as being a completely unique event. We'll see how true that is -- we're here and ready to rock.
5:46PM Okay, we're out of here. To think about what it means to be a human.
5:45PM Zoll's killing it on stage. Twirl, kid, twirl. You're the future now.
5:44PM People here are basically racing towards the doors.
5:44PM Guess what? It's time for more Zoll dancers.
5:44PM "We have the opportunity to transform human life like never before! I wish you good luck, and here in Vegas may you find your own ways! Thank you!"
5:43PM "If you are to be successful, this child must be an inspiration to us all... a child of the 21st century. We must think of him every time we create a product." Can we never think of Zoll again, though? Is that also an option?
5:41PM "By 2020 Samsung will have invested 23 billion dollars on green initiatives. We are committed to Human Digitalism. We are committed to putting human life at the center of everything we do."
5:40PM Samsung LED TVs have cut power consumption by over 40 percent.
5:39PM BK back to talk about Samsung's green initiatives.
5:39PM Zoll's back! "Nature rules!" Oh, Zoll. Zolly Zoll Zoll.
5:38PM Oh, the dancers are back. Now they have umbrellas and pea coats.
5:38PM Mime? Clown? Either way, we're having nightmares.
5:38PM BK is talking about a new 3D sound system, but, uh, we're completely distracted by the picture of a mime on stage for some reason.
5:37PM BK showed off a wireless charger for the glasses. Jeffrey: "Now I just need these and I'll be the most popular guy in Hollywood!" He cracked himself up with that one.
5:36PM "Now I just need you to send me a TV so I can watch something with them." BK: "Like I haven't heard that one before."
5:35PM BK just gave Katzenerg a pair of prescription 3D glasses. "These are so light -- maybe I'll just wear these all the time instead of my real glasses." Sure you will, Jeff. Sure you will.
5:35PM And Katz is gone. Handshakes all around.
5:35PM "Honestly we are just at the beginning -- it's incredibly exciting to see where Samsung will take us in the coming years."
5:34PM DreamWorks now using Samsung TVs to make all of their films. "We need the best displays possible to capture every nuance... not some special model, but rather the same ones you'll find at your local Best Buy."
5:33PM Katzenberg really likes working with Samsung.
5:32PM Katzenberg out on stage. "When it comes to 3D in the home, there's Samsung, and then there's everyone else."
5:31PM Calling Jeffery on the TV using high-def Skype. Oh, but instead he called a panda bear.
5:30PM "Samsung is working hard to secure a wide variety of 3D content." Bringing out Jeff Katzenberg for his annual CES 3D high five.
5:29PM BK: "Last year we launched the world's first Full HD 3D TV! That's a lot of initials."
5:29PM Zoll remembers going to an amusement park with his dad for the first time. He wishes his dad had taken pictures in 3D, because the pictures they took don't adequately capture the memory. Oh, Zoll.
5:27PM We have no idea why any of this is happening.
5:27PM Look everyone -- Zoll brought the dancers again!
5:26PM Oh god. Zoll's back. He's... looking at us.
5:26PM That was really cheesy, but it was a nice look at the UI.
5:25PM Another video -- Adam Ferrara is demoing controlling the TV with a phone. Searching for things as well. The interface looks clean and simple -- but why is he controlling a Twitter app on the TV from his phone when... he can just use his phone? It's unclear.
5:23PM Video over. BK: "It's not just about the look of its design -- you need to be able to use it comfortably. The biggest misconception people have about smart TV is that it's just a TV with a PC inside... A TV does not become smart just because it can access the internet." We're not sure, but that might have been a bite at Google.
5:22PM A boulder rolls into a crystal There is a picture of the sky. "Pure elements reinterpreted as perfection." Clearly we did not eat enough caramel corn to understand this.
5:21PM The letter A just exploded from serif to sans-serif. It's hard to explain that any better.
5:21PM Video time! "What is left is all that is needed." Things have taken a turn back to the seriously weird.
5:20PM For TVs, One Design means a super narrow bezel. New minimalist design for Samsung TVs.
5:19PM "Samsung's smart TV becomes one with the space around it... we call this One Design."
5:19PM BK's back. "What better way to relax than with a leanback experience?"
5:19PM Can using technology be as smooth and natural as a fish? That is Zoll's question.
5:18PM Zoll is chasing a fish. With dance.
5:18PM And we're all leaving the stage! ...And Zoll is back.
5:17PM BK: "This new era begins now."
5:17PM BK's getting the whole CEO gang on stage. That's some serious power, right there.
5:17PM AIR and the Smart TV SDK are available today, says Shantanu.
5:16PM Samsung's Smart TVs will support Flash. Flash is a "must-have for anyone playing web-based content," says BK.
5:14PM Talking about Adobe Air for multiscreen applications. "Samsung is the first device manufacturer in the world that's making these developments a reality across all the screens."
5:13PM Shantanu congratulating everyone. "It's an exciting time and we're thrilled to be a part of this."
5:13PM "It shouldn't be a surprise that we turned to Adobe for support." Shantanu Narayen on stage now.
5:12PM BK has one more guest: Adobe!
5:12PM "The reinvention of TV has already begun, and the kids of 2020 will agree -- it's going to kick ass."
5:12PM Hulu Plus coming to Android -- the actual code-complete app is running on a Galaxy S.
5:11PM Fourth: Advertisers used to talk to TV programmers, not people.
5:11PM Third: we try to use remotes.
5:11PM Second: we used to navigate TV with the program guide. Thinks kids in 2020 will think EPGs are like the rotary phone.
5:10PM First, we used to just watch TV with no interactivity.
5:10PM Jason says TV will be like the phone -- we used to call places, not people. Four big changes coming.
5:09PM BK: "You know, consumers always expect more." Introducing Jason Kilar from Hulu.
5:08PM And that was it for Brian and Glenn!
5:08PM Samsung Smart TVs will be able to access Comcast VOD -- and if you stop watching on the tablet you'll be able to pick up again on the TV.
5:07PM Back to Brian. "Thanks Glenn that looks great." Ha!
5:07PM Demoing the service now. "Consumers want to watch, what they want to watch, period."
5:05PM Samsung Smart TV will deliver all of TWC's content over IP, without a set-top box. First from TWC and Samsung. This is a huge announcement.
5:04PM Cool in the sense that it's happening on the Galaxy Tab, not cool in the sense that he changed a TV channel.
5:03PM Demoing the change from ESPN to CNN. This is really cool stuff.
5:03PM Now Glenn is demoing the TWC app. "I can access live TV directly on this tablet, without a set-top box. Ultimately, our customers will have access to their entire channel lineup on the tablet." That's awesome.
5:02PM Called it -- the PR for Adobe Air on Samsung Smart TVs just went out.
5:02PM The Xfinity app can find content, and then you can watch it on the TV or the tablet -- and soon you'll be able to watch live TV on the tablet as well. Demoing Despicable Me now.
5:01PM Brian's talking about Xfinity TV app for the Galaxy Tab. Turns your tablet into a guide, a video player, and a remote all in one. Adding social media features soon.
5:00PM Brian: "Glenn and I are thrilled to team up with Samsung." Says the Samsung Smart TV will be a revolution.
Glenn: "We are really excited about the collaborative relationship the cable industry has with Samsung."
Glenn: "We are really excited about the collaborative relationship the cable industry has with Samsung."
4:59PM BK's saying he's invited some "influential partners" - Comcast CEO Brian Roberts, and Time Warner Cable CEO Glenn Britt. Wow -- don't see those two together very often. A testament to Samsung's clout.
4:58PM Hinting at a partner who will "provide the essential tools for cross-platform app development." Let's just go ahead and call this either Google or Adobe.
4:57PM "Today we'll focus on the video content branch... Samsung is partnering with cable operators." Plus cloud-based and VOD partnerships.
4:56PM "This is a time of infinite possibilities -- the cloud has opened up rich possibilities for content."
4:55PM Introducing "the man who will put a Samsung TV in each of your living rooms, even if he has to install it himself," Samsung US president Tim Baxter.
4:55PM "Anytime, anywhere, on any screen. We realize that we cannot realize this dream by ourselves -- we will take the collaborative path."
4:53PM Another Zoll video. He's welcoming us to his line-are living room -- he can access anything in his living room anywhere "from the cloud."
4:52PM "Samsung plans to develop a cloud-based platform... we are dedicated to making our devices the best gateway to storing, sharing, and playing content from the cloud."
4:52PM Someone should seriously make a mashup of all the smart TV pitches at CES this year -- we're going over the same stuff about how consumers want to watch anything anywhere.
4:50PM "Samsung give consumers to a wider range of content."
4:50PM "I am confident that the Samsung smart TV will become the leader in integrating services and content."
4:49PM BK's back. "Is there a way to share all of this together? As I speak, cameras all around me are capturing this story... Big screen displays are now able to access all sort of content. That is why the TV will become the dominant technology in human life."
4:48PM "Tell me if this sounds familiar -- it's a typical Sunday afternoon. My dad's watching football, my mom's watching Project Runway, and I'm watching YouTube. Not in the same room, of course. But why is that?"
4:48PM Zoll's chasing the dancers off the stage. In other news: Zoll's back, to say more words.
4:47PM Again, this really explains the caramel corn.
4:47PM The four words are popping off on the screens behind the dancers, who are... acting out the words? Whatever they're doing, they're having a blast doing it.
4:46PM "I am going to show you how we celebrate these guiding principles." With... dancers, apparently. Teen dancers.
4:45PM Four guiding principles to Human Digitalism: Access, Align, Amaze, and Act. This is extremely weird.
4:44PM "Human life becomes our priority." Well, that's reassuring.
4:44PM "The next step of digital technology is for the human spirit to be at the center."
4:43PM Digital humanism is adding emotional value to digital technology.
4:43PM Talking about the Chilean miners. "I was overjoyed to hear our projector phone played a role in this human drama... it did not rescue them, but it helped them overcome."
4:42PM "How can we take digital humanism a step further? How do we envision the future of our digital devices? These are the questions I struggle with on a daily basis."
4:42PM "We call this emotional technology."
4:42PM "To satisfy customers, technology must embed the human emotion."
4:41PM "Okay, there's been a lot of progress in my lifetime -- but what about the next ten years? Seriously, what's really next?" Zoll's off, and B. K. Yoon, president of Samsung is out. To some seriously thundering music. That was awesome.
4:40PM "We're a totally digital crew, living in a totally digital world." Yow.
4:40PM "My parents were totally stoked when I finally arrived... Grandma said I must have been the most documented kid ever."
4:39PM Oh, Zoll's on stage now! He's... holding a remote? Oh, he's sitting on a couch and watching... a video of his mother being pregnant? Oh boy.
4:38PM It's a "55-minute adventure with "tons of cool stuff" and "lots of pretty people." This is going to be super weird.
4:38PM Gary's off, and Zoll is back -- and he's talking this time. "T-Minus one minute from Samsung showtime." We're being told to shut our phones off.
4:37PM Gary's going over how awesome Samsung is. They're awesome, is what Gary is saying.
4:35PM "I am so thrilled to welcome Samsung to its second CES keynote."
4:35PM CEA President Gary Shapiro out to warm up the crowd.
4:35PM Whoa, we're starting!
4:33PM Zoll's back. He remains as incomprehensible as ever, although we definitely want a pair of those blue headphones.
4:31PM We can't tell if this is the start of the event or a screensaver. More jams are playing though. This one's sort of a horn-infused trip-hop thing. Is there a Korean Tricky? This definitely sounds like Korean Tricky.
4:29PM The screens are now an undulating blue cube field. And man -- are they ever undulating.
4:28PM Something's happening! It is not clear what.
4:27PM Jamming along to some blippy breakbeat jams. It would be rad if there was a fight scene of some kind to go with this.
4:22PM This box of caramel corn is seriously endless. Maybe that's the big announcement? Samsung endless box of caramel corn? With 4G? Because if so -- best CES ever.
4:21PM Another Zoll video. It's interesting that the Samsung TV showing the same video looks noticeably worse than the huge projection screen because of the 240Hz processing.
4:19PM Nothing continues to happen at a furious pace.
4:17PM Sultry saxophone music now. So smooth. So refreshing. So much caramel corn.
4:14PM Really chowing down on the caramel corn here. Maybe Samsung's plan is to get everyone totally jacked on sugar? If so -- it's working.
4:13PM Oh, it's actually caramel corn, and it's quite good. The kid in the video has the same box. It also says "A story of human nature enabled by technology" on it, so hey -- now we know those words as well.
4:12PM Oh, and we found a box of popcorn on our seats -- it's green and marked ZOLL. No, we have no idea what that means.
4:11PM Okay, we're here and we're in our seats. Samsung is running those incredibly strange teaser videos that look like a KIRF Where The Wild Things Are in between jazzy corporate jams.